I don't regularly drink while pregnant.....I thought I made that clear earlier. If I do drink (and that would be way more occasionally than every week) it has always until this point been wine. I'm not making an excuse for drinking the other night, because I know I took a risk and I feel very bad about it. But that is not something I do as a habit.
As far as the medication, no offense to the posters who are concerned, but I'm pretty sure the doctors in my life are more equippped to look at the whole situation and weigh the risks/benefits than anyone over an online forum. I turly can't function without the Prozac. I take such a small amount of Adderall, and only once a day instead of the twice that I *could* be taking it (iow, it was prescribed to take morning and noon, if I needed to, and I only take it once a day and get by with that.) Dr Hale has a clinic now that you can call adn they ask a variety of in depth screening questions to help determine which medications would pose the least risk while still maximizing the benefit, and that is how I was able to determine that Prozac was safer than Zoloft. They both worry me because Zoloft has been linked to heart defect in babies and so has Prozac. But I literally can't function without it.
As far as why we moved, it was supposed to be a vacation, which it sort of still is, just.....an extended one. We are going back eventually. But we don't want to be moving around when I'm late in pregnancy, and in the middle of the school year since ds wants to play soccer adn stuff. SO's mom is coming from overseas and he hasn't seen her in many years. But it is taking longer than she thought to get here. So we are waiting. In the meantime, wherever I am I have to order and structure or my depression gets worse. So that's why we found a bigger place here to share with my SIL, so that we can be comfortable and feel at home. I can't operate on "maybe next week." I grew up moving a ton. I'm at the point in life now where I'm burned out....tired of packing boxes, tired of setting things up, organizing, decorating, etc.
I don't know what my problem is, honestly. I was doing well until I had a bad day, skipped my medicine, then skipped it again the next day and then a third day. Part of me doesn't want to take it....I don't like medications...I hardly even take tylenol and stuff. Alcoholism runs in my family, as does substance abuse, and so far I've managed to avoid both, mainly because of my children and knowing they deserve a sane mother. But.....I have to have the prozac, at least, to function. I can't tell til i'm already on a downward spiral....it takes a few days to show. But SO says he can tell sooner when I don't take it. It becomes a struggle to take care of the kids, the house, I don't want to talk to anyone, and the whole time I feel so intensely guilty that all I can do is cry, which makes me look like an idiot, which makes me cry more....and...it's just a mess. My kids need me at my best.
So, sorry, yes, I need to take the medication. The guilt trip about the risks I'm taking.... I have struggled off and on with depression since I was 4 years old and it has played a major part in my life. If this is what it takes to help me make better decisions and be emotionally stable (and I can't be any other kind of stable without that) than I'm sorry but for me the benefits outweigh the risks. You probably *think* you don't know many mothers who would take it while pregnant, because they don't tell you, just like I don't advertise it IRL. You can see what happened when I got severely stressed out off the prozac. I find it much, much scarier to think that I drank whatever was in the house because I didn't want to have an anxiety attack, then to think that I'm taking a controlled prescribed substance monitored by a doctor.
And as usual, I came here for support and ended up defending myself. Why don't I ever learn....