I just read a few books by Cheri Huber, whose name I picked up in a thread here in GD a month or so ago. I looked her up and ordered Time Out for Parents and Making a Change for Good: A Guide to Compassionate Self-Discipline. Wow. Possibly the most helpful books I have read for people like me who really struggle to retain the G in GD. I really really recommend them.
Also, I just wanted to say that one of the most helpful things I have done as a mother of young children, who struggles with anger and self-hate, is to keep books like these, or others that you find helpful, close by, and read them often. Like, a page or two a night before bed. Just keeping the words fresh in your brain can really help on a day-to-day basis.