Hate BFing. HELP.

[largirl]

I hate to say it, but right now I completely hate nursing her. We are on week 3.5 and I am still in massive pain when she nurses. We had maybe one good day when I thought I'd finally gotten the latch down, then I got mastitis and had to exclusively nurse on the non-affected side for a few days. I pumped every 2 or so hours on the affected side to try to keep up supply, but by the second day I was getting literally drops each time. After five days of antibiotics, the mastitis is gone, but the massive pain is not. I started nursing her again on the "broken" side a couple days ago and expected pain, but now it's on both sides. I canNOT get her to latch deeply. The nipple is always flattened when she comes off. I unlatch and relatch her 100 times each session, and maybe in that 100 times she'll get a good latch once or twice but invariably she pulls off a bit and brings her lower jaw in tightly. I've tried watching the Dr. Newman BFing vids on YouTube and tried his "wait til the open wide, then forcefully bring them straight on chin first" to try to get the asymetrical latch he talks about, I've tried the "scoop" in the nipple (where you pull it in a bit so you're presenting more of the areola) that they talk about in the "Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" book. I've had two LLL consults over to my house and seen a lactation consultant. I just can't get it. It seems fine (or better) when I'm with them but when they're not here it's horrible again. It hurts just to breathe. I can't stand having ANYTHING touching my nipples; it's horrible. Pumping hurts - not as much as her nursing, but it definitely hurts. We're not talking open bleeding sores that'd I'd expect to be so painful - there are sores, but they're just flat white scabs (our doctor said it was scabs, not a bleb or milk blister). On days when she cluster feeds (like today) I spend most of the day in tears dreading having to feed her. I end up giving her a bottle of pumped BM once a day just to give my nipples a break and she has a better latch on the bottle than she does on me! I assume it's because it's a firmer surface and I can get it shoved in her mouth and therefore force her lower jaw open more. I know they say no pacifiers and that the baby should fulfill all their sucking needs on mom, but I can't physically have her do that as much as I want to. Not that it matters, because she rejects pacifiers usually.

I want to do this so badly. I'm the biggest BFing advocate and I want to get this down, but I'm so frustrated and in so much pain and I spend the day with my boobs hanging out (since it hurts to wear a shirt or a bra) looking like a hot flipping mess. I'm seriously considering exclusively pumping until my nipples are healed but I want to have the "true" nursing relationship SO badly and I don't know if I'd be able to get her to ever latch correctly on me then.

I just don't know what to do. I'm at such a loss. Everyone keeps saying it will get better but I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[isabchi]

Did you checked for Tonge Tie?..Find somebody that especialize in Tonge Tie.

[Marissamom]

I could have written that when DD was tiny. turns out she has a posterior tongue-tie

[homemademom]

Yes, please find someone who specializes in posterior tongue ties--they're not the obvious ones where the tip of the tongue is tied down, but the tie occurs farther back and is hard to see but still keeps the baby from compressing the breast properly. I'm running to church right now, but when I get home, I'll come back and post some links.  

[gemasita]

I just wanted to give you some hugs!  I was in the worst pain of my life when I started breastfeeding.  I had bloody, scabby nipples and couldn't stand anything touching them.  I used some ice packs and the Soothies gel pads too.  I don't know what I would have done without them.  I pumped to give my nipples a break but pumping hurt me too.  Turns out I ended up with nerve pain in my nipples.  Do whatever gives them a rest though.  Seriously.

[homemademom]

Here you go!

http://www.cwgenna.com/quickhelp.html (pictures and a couple quick maneuvers to see if TT is a problem)

http://www.llli.org/llleaderweb/lv/lvaprmay02p27.html (excellent article about what happens to mom and baby with TT problems)

http://www.lunalactation.com/KnoxTT.pdf (more good pictures and explanations)

http://www.lowmilksupply.org/tonguetie.shtml (more info, including list of medical pros by state that deal with posterior tts)

http://www.kiddsteeth.com/articles.html More good articles as well as info about frenectomy from a PTT specialist (ped dentist) in NY

[homemademom]

Oh, I just reread your op and saw that she's flattening your nipples. That's one sign of posterior tongue tie. Because the tongue isn't drawing the nipple back far enough, your nipple ends up getting crushed between the hard and soft palate. The luna lactation link I posted shows a picture of that.

[KellyAAnn]

I have no specific help but just wanted to post for some support and also to let you know that my baby is about to turn 10wo and just learned to latch last week.  We have had day by day improvement but I wanted to quite many times.  And I still don't know if we are out of the woods (pending a weight check).

You have to decide for yourself if you want to make the choice to continue.  It was a hard choice for me and it made the first months of my son's life very very hard for me.  If it turns out we end up with a successful BF relationship it will be worth it.  If it doesn't I will mourn the loss of a more carefree maternity leave getting to know my son.  It sounds like you have some good advice here.  What gave myself a lot of interim goals when it was bad.  I will make it until Wed.  I will make it until I talk to the LC again.  One bright spot as they get bigger they get better at nursing.  So time does heal.  I also cannot say enough about Dr. Newman's All Purpose Nipple Cream.

[bigwater]

Just thinking of you again after I wrote my reply to your recent post.

I was feeding my 1 yo DD lunch earlier & after she threw everything on the carpet and wiped yogurt through her hair for the 3rd time I found myself thinking, I hate feeding her!  It does feel like such a waste sometimes.

As soon as the thought crossed my brain, I thought... that's awful to think.  I am doing important work, nourishing and teaching my daughter how to enjoy food and share meals.

Then I thought of your Hate BFing post and how many times I have also thought that but then looked down with love at my DD daughter in all of her healthy, relaxed and happy glory while she is snuggled up next to my breast.  I have always chosen to recommit as I know it is best for her.

As mothers, we are asked to support and nurture our children in infinite ways.  It requires patience, discipline, support from friends and family, humor and most of all expanding our capacities as women!  Let's choose to always turn around our negative mindset that tells us that discomfort and challenge is unwanted or unbearable.  

Do your best!  No matter how long you are able to breastfeed, you won't regret this time if you give it your all.

Love and hugs.

[sh0rty0143]

Oh, mama do I ever feel your pain!!! That is a DEFINITE posterior tie! I dealt with pain so badly for a few months that I was absolutely convinced I had thrush! It started to improve on it's own around 3 1/2 months(I know, it feels like forever away!), and we just had her lip and tongue tie clipped 2 1/2 weeks ago. I haven't noticed a huge improvement, unfortunately, but I think that we need to go to a CST when we get back home! We flew to Cincinnati to have the procedure done. Hoping and praying you find someone near you to help!!! DO NOT wait on it!