Toys vs. imagination

[crunchy_mommy]

My DS (2.5yo) seems to have developed quite the imagination. He loves pretending to be other people, he likes playing his imaginary guitar and will turn just about anything into a guitar, and he has an imaginary baby.

However, he has little use for toys -- basically hardly touches them and almost never actually PLAYS with them, and he has almost no ability to play alone. That's one of his goals for EI... not getting too far with it, although he likes novel toys so will sometimes play with toys at friends' houses etc., which I guess is progress... I'm worried he'll always need *new* things to be able to entertain himself.

Anyway, so my question is, when your children show a strong preference for certain types of imaginary play, do you get them toys along that theme? Does it enhance or diminish their play?

So for ex., I would love to get DS a real guitar, but obviously he is too young to learn to play (well, too young for lessons at least!) so maybe I should just let him keep pretending with other objects? And I feel like he should have a baby doll but he already has his imaginary baby and I don't want to ruin that by getting him an actual doll... I don't even know if he'd actually play with any toys I get him anyway (I'm half tempted to just pack up all his toys since they are neglected, but I would like him to eventually play with them!!!!!!)

[freestylemama]

My 3 yo DD has a ton of (mostly open-ended) toys and plays creatively with them.  People often comment on how imaginative she is, so I don't think having lots and lots of toys (from her many doting grandparents) has hindered her in any way. 

The toys that get the most use in our house are:

play kitchen, food and place settings

art supplies

sand box toys

doll house

doll school

magnatiles

blocks

baby dolls/ stroller/ shopping cart

doctors kit

trucks, cars and buses

dried bean, scoops and spoons

ETA: I tend to nurture anything that DD's interested in and haven't found that doing so changes her interests.  She still has imaginary friends and sings spontaneously even though she has a little guitar. . .

[CatsCradle]

DD wasn't really interested in toys until she was maybe 3.5 going on 4.  I wouldn't sweat it because imagination play IMO comes in various stages.  One thing that DD did engage in was the huge legos and tinker toys and stuff that allowed her to sit for a long time putting stuff together.  Now at almost five, she tends to use non-toy stuff like pillows and blankets and chairs to build imaginary places.  She compliments this stuff with her stuffed animals and play dishes, etc.  She has always been about imagination (which I think is true of most kids) and we just let her go with the stuff at hand.  It's amazing how she'll just spend hours setting stuff up and going with the imagination.

[mamazee]

My older daughter had no interest in toys that weren't part of imaginative stories or scenarios she'd make up. Blocks (to make into villages, worlds, etc.), stuffed animals, doctor's kit, dress-up clothes, art supplies, dolls and supplies for them, etc. I would get her other stuff, but she had no interest, though she did actually get very interested in music when she was a bit older. I'd hold off on the guitar, though, because it will seem like something that's been hanging around if/when he gets interested in music, but if you wait until he has an interest and THEN get a guitar, it'll feel really special to him. I'd follow his lead.

[crunchy_mommy]

The guitar is one of the only things he's interested in. Every time we go to a friend's house, the thrift store, etc. he looks for & plays with guitars. He stares at musicians (we go to a lot of outdoor concerts) and mimics them using whatever is around -- lunch bag, stick, nothing -- he just loves guitars. Other instruments, too, but guitars are his favorite. So I know he has an interest. Do you mean wait until he is old enough for lessons?

Most of our toys are similar to what you guys mentioned, very versatile & open-ended. He just ignores all of them. So I guess what I'm really trying to figure out is, would a baby doll or a guitar or whatever just be one more toy to ignore? Or would it help him play better since he will have props instead of just imaginary air space? Or would it restrict his really creative ideas down into just the concrete doll??

Obviously I'd love it if he played by himself for 5 minutes. Maybe that's what I'm hoping these things would do. I should know by now that it would probably be a fruitless pursuit so I'm not sure why I posted this, I guess just hoping someone could prove me wrong!! Or maybe hoping someone will say to just get rid of all the toys and that will free him up to play??? haha IDK he's an interesting little guy...

[mamazee]

Oh well if he's showing an interest, then yeah I'd follow it. Maybe start with a ukelele at his age? I'd start small, but if he has an interest in music, I'd follow that.

[Marissamom]

I've found DD plays with her toys more if I have all but a couple that fit her interests at the time, so most days we have a baby, books, and her duplos out. I've found her toys will either strengthen her imaginative play, or simply aren't played with. 

[meemee]

well... hmmm. i would try a ukelele before i try a guitar because its easier on the fingers and far easier to play. that is IF he would be interested in the uke.

the thing you have to figure out is - is the guitar a prop or is IT something he is interested in. 

i have a similar dd. her 'toys' were rubber bands, coloured paper clips, kitchen items, odds and ends.

she loved the guitar as a prop. she was more into writing songs and performing. 

her dad is a musician and she has gotten a bunch of musical instruments and even lessons - but at almost 9 i dont think she is any better than at 2 when she got her first instrument. even though she got guitars her size she prefered her dad's. 

dunno. does that answer your question? 

unfortunately i think this is one of the situations where you have to try to figure it out. maybe try a uke at the store. the uke is v. similar to the guitar and i have seen with children they start on the uke first and then move on to the guitar. i recall dd prefered the uke over the guitar. easier to handle. 

[FarmerBeth]

I second the ukelele idea, and also recommend kalimbas (thumb pianos) xylophones and slide trombone type toys.  I really don't think the toys will inhibit imaginative play in any way, but I do think it's important not to get too attached to the hope that he will play with them, he might or he might not and it's a learning process to see.  I would suspect because and instrument makes a real sound, he is likely to continue to have interest.  The doll is worth trying but less of a sure go because children sometimes attach themselves to a "baby" that is not a doll.  My youngest son started with a second hand store doll he picked out himself (he was about your son's age at the time) but later switched to a pet log.  He really nurtured  this pet log and it took precedence over the homemade doll I had made for him.  Later on (this year, at age 7, in fact) he got interested in the doll and used it for knight scenes, but the log took precedence for a long time.

Also, I seem to remember from your other posts that your son likes fine motor activities.  Even though know you are mostly trying to nurture imaginative play, maybe a box full of things with interesting parts that open and shut or can be taken apart or manipulated would be nice for him.  As his imagination gradually develops, what starts as manipulating may become imagination.  Some kids will seem to mindlessly push dinkies or trains around with no sign of imagination and then one day the trains suddenly have a story.  I can remember my son as a toddler endlessly making super tall towers with blocks, as high as they would go.  As he got older, giants or storms took down the buildings.  I think it's OK to balance closed ended toys like puzzles and models with open ended toys, especially if the child enjoys them.

[crunchy_mommy]

OK I will keep my eyes out for a ukelele! I do think he'd be happier with something his size anyway.

Originally Posted by FarmerBeth 

I really don't think the toys will inhibit imaginative play in any way, but I do think it's important not to get too attached to the hope that he will play with them, he might or he might not and it's a learning process to see.

This is a really good point, and exactly what I need to hold myself back from. I think I am so desperate to get him to play that I am entertaining ideas that I know in my heart probably won't work...

Originally Posted by FarmerBeth 

Also, I seem to remember from your other posts that your son likes fine motor activities.  Even though know you are mostly trying to nurture imaginative play, maybe a box full of things with interesting parts that open and shut or can be taken apart or manipulated would be nice for him.  As his imagination gradually develops, what starts as manipulating may become imagination.  Some kids will seem to mindlessly push dinkies or trains around with no sign of imagination and then one day the trains suddenly have a story.  I can remember my son as a toddler endlessly making super tall towers with blocks, as high as they would go.  As he got older, giants or storms took down the buildings.  I think it's OK to balance closed ended toys like puzzles and models with open ended toys, especially if the child enjoys them.

This is a great idea. I've been thinking of checking Freecycle to see if I can come up with a box of random parts and pieces and broken electronics. THAT he would play with, although I'm not sure if it would last just a few days or if he'd sustain interest in it over time. You are so right though, the few things he does play with, it started out as just looking at them and taking them apart and stuff and now they are parts of his imaginary life.

[pianojazzgirl]

FWIW my ds was that age when dd started taking violin lessons.  He loved mimicking her and using anything on hand to be "his violin".  Eventually we obtained a small violin for him to use.  He still just continued using his pretend violins and didn't really prefer one over the other.  (insert shrugging smiley here).

[hildare]

Originally Posted by mamazee 

Oh well if he's showing an interest, then yeah I'd follow it. Maybe start with a ukelele at his age? I'd start small, but if he has an interest in music, I'd follow that.

yes!  we have a uke for dd (21 mos) and it is just awesome.  they are super cheap, got one for a friend on amazon but went to a music shop for ours/ same difference, less than 30 bucks. 

dh is just dying for dd to play music with him, too, though, so she's definitely getting pushed in that direction. 

they have to be a particular height for a violin and lessons unless you suzuki (which from what i understand/correct me if i am wrong/ isn't actually using the instrument at first, but learning how to do it).

so we have the uke, some bongos, a keyboard, shakers, a tamborine and assorted other stuff for her to noodle around with. 

we also have a percussion minded friend with multiple children who does a game with them that's like a drum or rhythm circle-- one kid does one beat with one instrument and then they go around and each kid or adult does something different. 

jamtown is a good source for kid instruments.  we've been happy with stuff from there. 

and OP the only thing with the music stuff, for our dd, is it's not really independent play, either.  sorry.  she either wants us to participate or be an active and attentive audience. 

eta: i think an instrument like a uke is pretty much a toy at that age.. they're not really going to play, and we at least aren't going to do lessons for a long time... but they can learn about the notes, sounds, etc. and i think it's similar to pre-literacy in the way that playing around with letters- or notes- is a great warm up and may lead to a deeper understanding later. 

[LynnS6]

When ds was that age he spent most of his time pretending to be a garbage truck driver. My parents got him a lovely bruder toy garbage truck for Christmas that year. It was a favorite toy for years, and didn't diminish his imaginative play at all.