I had an amazing natural hospital birth with my dd. Now that I am pregnant again I would love to hear more information about pushing and not fully dialated and the urge to push even when not having contractions.
With dd I dialated fast but stalled at 9 1/2 cms. I had felt the need to push for quite a while and was in agony trying not to push (because I might make my cervix swell). Finally a nurse (who I thought was very mean at the time lol) suggested that I get up and try to go pee. I had been walking around for the majority of labour, but I was exhausted at this point and was lying on my side . Thankfully as soon as I got back to bed I was 10 cms and I started pushing. All I wanted to do was push. I had a very hard time stopping in between contractions. It wasn't so much coached but they were very encouraging and would tell me to stop pushing when the contraction was over (I had no monitoring so they didn't know when? or maybe they could tell?). However, stopping my body from pushing was agony and I just wanted to keep pushing and pushing and pushing. Dd was born very quickly as I did push through some non contraction times, I just couldn't stop. I had a 2nd degree tear despite having a dr who was very proactive at preventing tears, and not delivering on my back.
So my questions is this, I have read about not having vaginal exams and women who begin to push when they feel the need. I fully believe that there is nothing "wrong" with my body and it knows what its doing. But if I felt the need to push prior to being fully dialated should I push or no? I am declining more internal checks, though I did have very minimal up to 9 1/2cms (I actually think I just had one...) but once I hit 9 1/2 because I was there for so long and needed to push I was checked more frequently. Also, my body just wanted to push baby out as fast as possible (dd actually ended up with fluid in her lungs from coming out so fast), is it truly best to wait for contractions or just push when I feel the urge?
I understand that things could be totally different with this one, but want to be prepared. My sister just had her baby (2 days ago!!) and had an almost identical pushing phase with identical outcomes (2nd degree tear, fluid in lungs).
Thanks so much!!