Confused - is my baby hungry or not?

[ashleyc]

I'm a FTM and the last 3 nights my 10 week old son has been extremely fussy at bedtime.  Basically, meltdown.  And sometimes that's when he's only just woken up from a nap maybe an hour before.

We do the bedtime routine (bath, then low lights, music and nursing) and then I try to rock him to sleep.  There is NO putting him down "sleepy" but awake.  He needs to be out.  Usually I kind of nurse him to sleep or until almost asleep, a little rocking and then into the bassinet.  Sometimes I need to resettle several times.

But the last 3 nights he is wide awake after nursing, gnawing on his fist.  Now he often does this when he's not hungry, and I assume he's learning to self soothe.  But then he just gets so agitated and no position or movement calms him and he is wriggling and crying loudly.  My husband is convinced he is still hungry.  The last two nights, because I was so overtired and at my wits end, I just gave him a bottle of formula top "top him off".  

Now the same thing is happening tonight when I really feel my son shouldn't be hungry.  He had a nice long nurse from both breasts and was sleepyish afterwards.  But we given him a bottle again because he won't go down and is SO fussy.

I have no problem giving formula IF I truly cannot fill all his food needs, but this seems like a strange and sudden development.  And I really, really do not want to start a pattern of having to give him a bottle every night to get him to go to sleep.  I love JUST nursing him if possible.

Thoughts?  Is he really hungry?  Is this a stage?  We have been doing some very gentle routines, which he has really responded to.  We were even on vacation last week when the routine got a bit messed up and he went down at bedtime like a champ, but now we are back home and it's like meltdown every night.

TIA for your thoughts and advice!

[P.J.]

Excuse me if this is just a really ignorant question, but by FTM I assume you mean female to male transgendered, right? If I understand your question correctly, you are not able to provide enough milk for your baby, so that's why you give him formula?

If you want to avoid giving formula, and I get why you would, there may be ways to increase your milk supply. I hope you get some good advice here, but maybe you could enquire in the BFing forum too, I have gotten some wonderful advice from the mamas over there. I always had enough milk but barely, and was getting practically nothing from pumping. There are lots of things you can do (including pumping) to get more milk supply. IDK much about what your body may or may not be capable of because of hormones or surgery or whatever your particular situation is, but there is also a Queer parents forum here and I know of at least one other FTM regular member, there are probably more, who may have been in exactly your situation and can help.

GL!

[Blanca78]

I wondered that about FTM, too, but I think in this case she might mean full time mom?

Anyway, I don't have advice, really, but wanted to say my now-14-week-old has been behaving similarly since about 12 weeks, on and off. I have not ever given her a bottle, but I feel like I nurse her plenty. She used to sleep long stretches (5-7 hours the first part of the night) but her sleep has recently become much more disturbed and wildly inconsistent. She's waking much more frequently, and I don't think she's necessarily hungry, because while she will nurse vigorously for 2-3 minutes, she often stops after that and falls back asleep. Wondering, for the sake of the OP and myself, if others have experienced this?

[lilikoi]

FTM = first time mom?

[ashleyc]

Sorry for the confusion!! I meant First Time Mom

[mamazee]

There will be times where your baby's milk needs will increase and he will signal to your body that you need to produce more milk by nursing a LOT more often for a period of time. After a few days, your body should get the signal and make more milk, and he should be happy again. I would not feed formula during those times at all because he then won't get your milk supply increased, and you will start to have problems with a low supply. So I'd just try to be patient and keep nursing as much as he wants.

Another time babies will nurse more often is when they're teething, as that gives comfort, but at your baby's age I'd guess that he's getting you to produce more milk.

[~Adorkable~]

im guessing that your baby is just growing and needing more, if you let him nurse as much as he wants and even go back for seconds a tiny bit later, it will trigger your breasts to make more. if you fed formula to top him off it will lessen the demand on your breasts and they will in turn make less, it can be a vicious cycle.

if you want to keep breastfeeding then i would strongly recommend not adding formula, if you want to add a bottle, then you should think about pumping and having your own milk in that bottle.

as for wondering how much he is getting which is a really normal thing to wonder, you could get a god baby scale and weigh him before and after feedings a few times and get a feel for things, mine goes down to 1/2 oz increments and gave me the info i needed when i was struggling with nursing and pumping bottle for both my twins. i learned to tell the difference of when they were not transferring a lot of milk and would do breast compressions to get my milk flowing a bit harder and that was usually all it needed, they would perk up and suck with renewed gusto.

if this is a new thing and otherwise he has been fine, gaining weight and having plenty of wet diapers, i would feel it is more than safe to assume he is getting plenty and it is just a phase, growth spurt and you both will get thru it with flying colors.

[~Adorkable~]

and By the way, welcome to Mothering.com  you have found a wealth of info and some great gals, please take some time to glance through all the various categories we have, there is something for everyone!

[PatioGardener]

Baby's behaviour makes me think Growth Spurt.

Have you tried just nursing him? That will tell your body to make more milk. Me, I'd throw out the formula and nurse nurse nurse. I found that DVDs helped to get through those looooooooong evening nursing sessions! That and make sure you have a nice cool water bottle before you sit down!

Your breasts never stop making milk, so even if you have just nursed him, you can pop him back on the breast and he'll get more milk (and tell your body to make more milk.)

Also, remember that the formula is not what his tummy is used to (or has evolved to digest) so it may actually be contributing to the fussiness.

This is a great website for breastfeeding and baby issues: http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/fussy-evening.html

Congratulations on your baby, and on breastfeeding! Keep going, Mama! You can breastfeed exclusively!

[sacridote]

To me, this sounds like gas. DS is often VERY wiggly and fussy at the breast (and after feedings) when he has a gas bubble.

[KempsMama]

I would try starting his bedtime a little earlier-he may be overtired.  My LO would get like this and we moved the start of his bed time routine up by 10 minutes a night until things clicked-I was trying to put him to bed at 7, he prefers 6:30.