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I am HATING nursing my 23m old with new baby...

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

Before DS was born, I was nursing my DD 3 times a day (morning, nap, bed).... I thought to myself that I wanted to nurse DD until she was AT LEAST 2yrs old and wean her completely by 3.


Well..... ever since DS was born, she's wanted to nurse ALL THE TIME and, in the past, I could say "just a little bit" and she would nurse for a little, be done and be happy.  Now, she nurses "for a little bit" and when I say we're done, she has the BIGGEST tantrum!  In fact, the only time she has tantrums are when she wants to nurse.  She may not even ask, but will throw herself onto the floor, and eventually I will learn, that she wants to nurse.

 

I am so sick of nursing her.  Especially in the mornings when we're all tired and she crawls into bed.  I let her nurse "a little bit", but she refuses to accept when we're done.  We're all tired in the morning b/c from 5-7 (or until we get up) she SCREAMS, kicks, pinches, bites....

 

I'm starting to feel resentful and I don't want to be around her.  I don't stay patient with her and, b/c I feel guilty about not wanting to nurse, I become unresponsive b/c I don't know how to fix it.  In the middle of a tantrum, she has no desire to be touched, talked to, calmed, soothed in any way.

 

I'm so sick of it and wished I weaned before DS was born. :(  And I REALLY don't want to start nursing her on demand again.... I just can't do it.  

post #2 of 4

it's hard, it's really hard, but it does get better. my two are 22 month apart, and for the first month my toddler was nursing about twice as much as my toddler. now at 4 months she's down to nursing about 3-6 times a day. I think the increased nursing was partially because there was suddenly milk again, and partially because she was feeling like she was being replaced, and wanted that comfort that she was still important to mama. 

 

post #3 of 4

It may seem like she understood just a little bit but that is a hard concept. When I was nursing siblings I asigned each a breast and the oldest could only nurse if the baby was nursing. That way I didn't resent nursing because the baby was already nursing. My breasts evened out to making what each child needed. They had to behave nursing together or the older one had to stop. We came up with creative positions for them to nurse together.

post #4 of 4

How old is your newborn? My DD did the same thing when my DS was born--she even started night nursing again, which was very difficult and exhausting for me (she had been nightweaned for pretty much my whole pregnancy). But gradually she slowed her nursing down. I think it took 3 weeks for her to reduce her requests to nurse during the day.

 

I found that telling her she can nurse "later" works pretty well for her--rather than "just a little bit" constantly, you know?

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