How do you cope with baby accidents?

[RRMum]

Hi All,

My LO (11 months) is learning to walk and very mobile in general. Accidents are happening multiple times per week, most are minor bangs and bruises, but one has landed us in the Emergency room.  I find that I can't let go for 10 days or so after something scary happens.  I have trouble sleeping.  Every time I think about an incident I feel physically sick and my mind wanders into "I'm a terrible mother" territory. Nothing could have prepared me for the trauma of watching your LO get hurt! I don't want to turn into an overprotective mom, and I don't want my stress to worry LO.  Anyone have any coping strategies for letting go, moving forward and leaving scary moments in the past?  Even simple ones may be helpful.  Deep breaths and talking it out with DH and friends isn't really helping me. Thx

It probably doesn't need to be said, but I'm not looking for childproofing advice, we are covered on that front

[Amanda_Reyasmom]

Unfortunately, when babies are learning to walk they fall.  That's just the way it is! Have some arnica oil on hand (I like the one from Kerry's Herbals) and know that when they do take a tumble Mama can fix it.  

[~Adorkable~]

this is a great question, my twins are only 7 months old and so we have been mostly free of this so far, but i have always wondered about how im going to take this.  i will good forward to what folks chime in with

[slgt]

You do what you can, create as safe an environment as possible, and remember that they change SO quickly - what was safe & baby-proof last week might be a danger this week. DH & I both tend to be overprotective, and we have refocused our energy so that we are vigilant, but don't dive in & interfere at any possible moment. It's especially hard with our older one being so "involved" with our younger one!

They get bumps, bruises, scrapes, and will look that way for at least the next 6 or 7 years! Deep breaths, create a safe environment in which you can let them explore, and remember that bumps & bruises are part of how they learn. Find your peace of mind in knowing that you have done everything you can in giving your little one a framework for accidents.

What are the "something scary" things that are keeping you up at night?

[Amanda_Reyasmom]

Originally Posted by slgt 

You do what you can, create as safe an environment as possible, and remember that they change SO quickly - what was safe & baby-proof last week might be a danger this week. 

YES! My DD1 is blind in one eye, you would not believe how many bumps and scrapes her toddler years (and after) had.  We moved when she was 8 and every day for 2 weeks she'd run into *something* I hate to say it, but it really does get easier lol.  

[LittleBirdy]

I repeat this one to myself often:

God wouldn't have made them so fast and us so slow if he didn't also make their heads so hard.

:)

[WifeofAnt]

My son is starting to get to that cruising age and I figure at least he's learning now while he still has a short distance to fall!  As long as he's not falling off of furniture or trying to climb the stairs, he's only going to fall like two feet at the most.  And plus our house is carpeted in the rooms he stays in.  Cave-babies didn't get the luxury of a softened landing.  In another few years I'm going to be worried about him crashing his bike and flying over the handlebars into the pavement.

[DianeFuentes]

You can't be complacent, but you can't be too protective and worry all the time. My physician said that babies are generally tougher than we expect them to be. Have faith. :)

[amberskyfire]

What really helped me was just talking about it with other moms and hearing them all say the same thing: "oh, yeah, that happens with us all the time, too. It's just part of growing up!" When it scares you (and it will every time) you feel really alone, like your baby is the only one going through it but hearing other moms reinforce it made me feel so much better.

Yeah. We've had so many horrible accidents. It'll be okay! You are not a bad mom!

[RRMum]

Thanks amberskyfire.  This is really helpful. I've also been surprised when I share with other mom's how many similar stories and scenarios are out there. 

[LynnS6]

Originally Posted by RRMum 

Hi All,

My LO (11 months) is learning to walk and very mobile in general. Accidents are happening multiple times per week, most are minor bangs and bruises, but one has landed us in the Emergency room.  I find that I can't let go for 10 days or so after something scary happens.  I have trouble sleeping.  Every time I think about an incident I feel physically sick and my mind wanders into "I'm a terrible mother" territory. Nothing could have prepared me for the trauma of watching your LO get hurt! I don't want to turn into an overprotective mom, and I don't want my stress to worry LO.  Anyone have any coping strategies for letting go, moving forward and leaving scary moments in the past?  Even simple ones may be helpful.  Deep breaths and talking it out with DH and friends isn't really helping me. Thx

The bolded line makes me wonder if you're prone to anxiety and/or whether you've got a touch of PPD? (It can strike any time in the first year.) If things get worse, or don't improve, you might want to see your doctor/midwife. I had PPD/Anxiety, and the 'not sleeping' and 'not being able to let go' are classic symptoms.

A couple of good books that might help you are "Women's Moods" -- they've got a great self care program in there that might help you find your equilibrium. "Self Nurture" is another good book that helps women to take care of themselves. One of things it's easy to do when your children are little is to forget to care for yourself. Just remember, if you're taking care of yourself, you don't have as much to give to your kids.

Finally, remember that kids are strong and they heal. The ER visit you had was probably an anomaly. But if your kids are active and adventurous, it might not be your only one. One of our neighbors has 4 kids -- all athletic and active (and all girls), and they end up with at last one broken bone a summer. They've had stitches numerous times. They're still around, and they're still fine. They're interesting, lively kids. One of my sister's friends had a baby roll off a picnic table and onto concrete (landed on her head!). She just graduated from high school -- she's fine, talented, and beautiful.

Further evidence of quick healing: When our dd was learning to walk, she fell on a concrete patio and scraped all the skin off her nose. It looked terrible, even several weeks later:

By 3 months later, you couldn't even tell: