My hubby is a great dad and a sweet and gently man. He's always been totally on board with all the AP stuff, it just seems common sense to him.
As our daughter is getting older, though, I notice him being less and less patient and more and more negative with her. Lots of "no, don't do that" and an almost overwhelming 'helicopter' style of "don't make messes," "be careful with that," "don't pick that up, it's too heavy," "do I need to send you to your room?", "if you don't behave you won't get what you want." etc.
I can understand the frustration as I find myself resorting to these things more often than I'd care to, but I don't think he's even aware of how much he's doing it.
She's 4.5yo and very self-assured and strong-willed. We did a very Montessori-inspired toddlerhood with her, where she was allowed to do most things by herself, and we didn't interfere by diving in to 'help' prematurely. So she's very confident and capable. However, rather than letting her help, I find that he is more and more often just trying to keep her out of the way. Or he's so busy with housework that he can't talk to her when she runs in with something exciting for him... the clothes simply MUST be folded NOW and can't wait 2 minutes to talk to her? Or get her to help? "I can't talk now, sweetie, I have to clean up this mess."
I'm concerned that she's going to develop a sense that housework is a CHORE to be despised, that takes time away from loved ones, rather than just a part of normal life.
Anyway, I've read a lot online over the years about gentle discipline and peaceful parenting, so I'm a few steps ahead of DH in my knowledge of the stuff -- though I think I could use a refresher to help my own patience! I was thinking it would be a good idea to get some of the best books on the subject to help him change how he interacts with her. He responds better to books than to websites or to discussions with me (simply because I'm not able to speak clearly sometimes, and besides which he needs to see the references I'm referring to!) He was totally on board with going diaper-free and homeschooling and co-sleeping and all the alternative stuff we do, because he sees that it makes sense. I know that he'll agree that GD makes sense too -- he just needs that reminder, that information.
So... I know about Unconditional Parenting, Raising Our Children Raising Ourselves, Free-Range Kids, Playful Parenting, and I see a couple I'm not familiar with called Between Parent and Child, and Attached at the Heart. Given our situation, which would you suggest? If we had to pick, say, 3 of them?