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Back to school for us . . .

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 

My daughter (9) has been homeschooled for the past three years.  This summer, esp. it seemed like she was getting tired of being disappointed when get-togethers with others have not panned out.  It has been a tough summer for her-- she loved her times at camp, but even with going out, it felt like there were too many "lulls" because friends her age have been hard to come by.


So, I mentioned school again to her and she had a very different attitude.  She WANTS to go now.  Interestingly, she has always been unschooled (minus a week here and there where I would panic), and she never wanted structure, so that is what we did.  Even a week ago she discussed how much she did not want a routine.  All of a sudden, she is saying she wants the classroom environment and is interested in what the classes offer at school, including the structure.  It all seemed sudden to me, I should say, but she said it has been on her mind for awhile.


I am pretty disappointed that the vision I had for homeschooling was only that-- a vision, and not a reality I could create.  I could do anything re: classes because the academic side was in my control.  If it were only that, it hsing would work.  However, trying to find ways to guarantee some sort of regular interaction with others?  Nope, not really.


I am hoping school will offer her the right kinds of challenges, but I am also sort of at peace with letting go at this point, because I know that what I am offering is not living up to her needs, and have run out of options.



post #2 of 7

grouphug.gif  Maybe homeschooling is an option for the future if she changes her mind. 

post #3 of 7

I wish both of you the best of luck. My dc might go to school at some point as well. I do hope you keep us updated on the highs and lows of her school experience. I think there are MANY (including my family) hsers who find that the reality of hsing is not what they envisioned, and think about school often. 

post #4 of 7
Thread Starter 

laundry, thank you-- maybe.  I feel like I have spent so much time analyzing everything for so long that I just want to "pick one" and be done.  A few days ago my pick was hsing-- was going to just make it work.  Oh, well.


jeteaa, true.  I think most schools are not what parents envision either, though they do not know the reality of what their children go through every day.  No perfect option.


In my few days of hindsight, I wish I had forced DD to do more.  Goes against what I believe, but there it is.  I wish I made her stick to things  (that way we'd be more connected to the hs community) and have more structure to the day, including mandatory work (being unschooling I always thought I should follow her lead).  I am less convinced that she knew/knows what she wants and needs.  Even though she is great at delayed gratification, she cannot always see the big picture, and how to invest in it.  Maybe we both were looking for an ideal situation that does not exist and became disillusioned. 


If I had it to do over, I would not have spent the last 3 yrs wondering if this is the right thing, and sort of flailing.  I would have not second guessed myself.  I would have gone forward and not back.  Again, this is contrary to everything I thought I knew about adapting and being reflective.

post #5 of 7

It's so hard for us, as parents, to give up the idea.  My son, at 11, decided to attend the local public school here.  It was an emotional blow to me and I was really afraid of being judged for not having pushed him harder.  I was afraid that he'd be bullied or that he'd struggle.  My other kids were sad that he was leaving all day.  In the end, it only lasted one day and he decided that he preferred homeschooling.  I realized that I need to push him more in his studies so that if he decides to go back again, he'll be well prepared.


Anyway, hugs to you.  It's an emotional decision for everyone:)


post #6 of 7

There is nothing wrong with letting her take a look.Every year and every school setting will be different.Be open to allow a change if she decides she does not like it.Only thing I would not allow is for them to leave school,come home,then go back to school the same year.They would have to wait till the new school year. I would not force them to stay if the situation was extremely bad,but would if they were just being whiney/lazy about having to do the school work.Atleast for a few weeks to make sure they get the groove of schoola,and not just reacting in shock to the new rules/routine,


My 9yo ds loves going to school,but my 12yo dd has always hated all types of school.Every child will have a different opinion about the same extact school setting.They have a friend who is 13yo who wants to do eschool like one brother,but is forced to go to public school along with another brother.He tells his mom that he hates the school,and does not like it as his other brother does. Every child will want something different.


It will be a good experience.Maybe she will love it,and if she doesn't I am sure you will still be ready to homeschool.


Another reason I might pull even if my child liked it would be if their behavoir/attitude worsened.Some kids just act terrible, or hook up with the wrong kids once in school.Thankfully they really don't have all that much time to socialize during classtime!

post #7 of 7
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