@ wake up
excellent post..I highly agree with all you said.. I practiced cosleeping after reading the book the family bed when my son was born in 1979..in fact, invited my older son back in there too.
One day after a long, long time, my older son decided to move back to his room and my youngest decided to go with him and they slept together in the same bed for some time and cuddled and now that they are both grown they are very close. In fact, they are closer to each other than they are to me and already got along great.
I was a very sound sleeper but instantly woke up the second my son made the slightest noise and never ever rolled on him etc just like you stay.
I also feel the woman looking for suggestions on how to get her son in his own bed, needs to consider that though it may be at times inconvenient etc, the benefits this practice will have on his psyche will be well well worth it. Just like child led weaning, kids will tell you when they are ready to move on to the next stage and they all do with time.
He is lucky she had him in there and nursed him and I am sure she will if she thinks about what this means to her child will reconsider. I followed the crappy advice of the day to let my son cry it out though every cell in my body was longing to go in that room the next day I found he was sucking his thumb and rubbing the silky edge of the blanket to self sooth. He remained a thumb sucker till he was 9 and rubbed the "creamy" of the blanket often as he carried the blanket with him where ever he went for the longest time.
What a mistake..he had learned what I did not want to teach--to gain comfort from an object instead of a living breathing person.
I typed a long thing on this which I decided not to post and it made me cry even though he is 38 years old now. I cried because I always felt I let him down and after that mistake of listening to the wrong "experts" I did what "I" thought was right not what may have been in fashion or typical for the day..doing all the things few did back then despite people complaining and worrying..I did Lamaze (still rare back then)m family bed, marsupial mothering, on demand breastfeeding, health food, child led weaning till age 4 (he also nursed when he asked at age 5 when he broke his arm on the way to the hospital) etc.
I did not do what doctors said if I disagreed and they got mad too and told me none of their other moms ever questioned/challenged them and did what he said without a question..if I could not I would have done a home birth. I got flack even yesterday when I refused a surprise mammogram the doctor said to do as I did not feel this was the right thing for me--they actually had 4 nurses and a doctor try to change my mind and they looked angry that I dared refuse this test) and I lived my life now as I feel is right not everyone else.
I learned to have moral courage and made sure to pass that value on to my children--to always do what was right even if they stood alone or were ostracized. But it is too bad I had to learn that I am the best expert of what is right for me and my kids then not some book export at the expense of my son. I am sure he does not care at all, but it bothers me that I did not let him stay in the bedroom or better yet the bed. I love the family bed...it was a wonderful decision and I am glad I read that book that was preaching something that helped not hurt my child.
Edited by kids are grown now - 8/27/11 at 2:48am