Can your baby breastfeed while you are lying in bed? - Page 5

[SaltCreek76]

Hi, Just wanted to say absoulutely, it can and in my opinion should, be done.  I don't know how mom's survive the first few mos. of life without nursing in bed!!  As for how, I just laid him on my side and let him nurse... not really sure how to describe it other than that.  As for how early, with my 2nd I started in the hospital from day one- I was exhausted and we both fell asleep with him nursing.  The nurse came in a yelled at me and wanted me to put him in the little plastic box to sleep, but I thought that was ridiculous, and the nurse on the next shift was much more understanding and left us alone. 

My only caution is, if you make it a habit, it's a hard one to break.  My son is 2 and 4 mos old now and still wants to go to sleep that way.  My husband and I have gotten frustrated with hom being in our bed and taking over the whole King sized mattress and leaving us on the edges or falling off!  Anyone reading this with suggestions for how to get him into his bed at this age, I welcome your comments!  Good luck with the nursing :)

Melissa

[Kanna]

LOL. Actually, we let DD sleep on the outside sometimes. The right side has a baby balsony that keeps her in, but on the other side, we put an airmattress, so if she falls, she'll fall softly.

When she was small and she'd take her nap alone (I bf her til she was sleeping, but then detached and left to get stuff done), and she had started to roll around in her sleep, we had the whole bed surrounded by airmattresses and soft cushions!

[IamLuna]

I nursed both of mine, and started on the first day.  I have DD breasts.  It helps that I was comfortable nursing right away (my second daughter was trickier, but we worked it out.)  I think the key thing was to pull their bodies right up against me--it was as if we made a 'V', with my breast spanning across the top.  I would latch them on, and then immediately snug their lower bodies up against me.  My lower arm was over their heads and my upper arm did all the arranging.  My torso rolled away just slightly(even with the baby up-close to me) which kept my upper breast out of the way.  A pillow behind is helpful, but I didn't always need one.  When it was time to switch, I just grabbed the baby and rolled her over the top of me to the other side, and we switched breasts (I had one of those toddler sides, that insert between the mattresses, with a towel rolled up in the crack just in case, to keep them from falling off the side--it worked perfectly.)  After we were proficient with that, I could nurse from either breast on either side, just by rolling my torso towards or away from the baby. 

Snugging their bodies right up close to me was the key, it kept their bodies/necks/heads in a straight line so they weren't inclined to pop off--no one likes to drink with their head arched back!  And snugging them up close makes a super snuggly baby--I really miss the cuddly snuggly days of sleeping skin-to-skin with my kids, now that they are out of our bed. (I nursed to 3 and 4 years--the 4 y.o. self-weaned thoughtfully and deliberately on her 4th birthday and moved into her own bed permenently then--she'd been in and out before that. 

I was a single mom with my first, and breastfeeding saved my sanity--I need my sleep!  My kids are 10 and 14 now.

Good luck!

Luna

[wake_up]

Originally Posted by phuston 

I usually prop the baby's head up on my upper arm in the crook of my underarm to start and then roll into her to get the latch. It gets easier as they get older and gain neck control, but I started pretty early with all of mine out of convenience -and the fact that with twins I 'd never get any sleep if I couldn't nurse in bed. Which leads to an important point - Be Careful. This quickly turns into co-sleeping, which many people don't recommend, particularly with the newbies.  If you're a heavy sleeper, really deprived of sleep (hence likely to quickly go into a very deep sleep) or tend to thrash around, don't attempt this until you're more rested and not likely to fall dead asleep).  

Cosleeping isn't usually dangerous unless you're under the influence of drugs - your mama bear senses will keep you aware of the baby even when asleep.  You don't fall out of bed when you're really tired, do you?  You know, even in your sleep, where the edge of the bed is.  In the same way, you'll know where your baby is.  Saving cosleeping for when you're not very tired doesn't make any sense to me.  When I'm very tired (um, the past 4 years or so?) is when I really need to cosleep/nurse in bed!  You might want to check out the Family Bed forum here for info on safe cosleeping if you're worried about it.
 

Originally Posted by DrBrockBaca 

We did it! Sort of. We've been using a nipple shield because of various problems, but I've been trying to get rid of it. I had only tried side-lying nursing without the nipple shield and couldn't get my baby to latch, but she did it easily with the nipple shield. So at least in the middle of the night, I'm just going to use the shield for a while until she gets better at latching without it. If we don't use the shield, I have to use the "teacup" hold on my breast and basically roll my nipple into her mouth with one hand while pushing her head to my breast with my other hand. This is of course impossible in the side-lying position. So for now, I guess we will just keep using the nipple shield for that position. :( Thanks for all the advice, though! Hopefully soon we can get rid of the shield. But I slept for an hour today while she nursed! Yay!

Congratulations!  Welcome to the sidelying club!  You're gonna love it.
 

Originally Posted by SaltCreek76 

My only caution is, if you make it a habit, it's a hard one to break.  My son is 2 and 4 mos old now and still wants to go to sleep that way.  My husband and I have gotten frustrated with hom being in our bed and taking over the whole King sized mattress and leaving us on the edges or falling off!  Anyone reading this with suggestions for how to get him into his bed at this age, I welcome your comments!  Good luck with the nursing :)

Melissa

No suggestions here on how to get him out of your bed, but I think 2 years is kind of early for that.  Again, this is coming from the perspective of an intentional cosleeper - we didn't "make it a habit," we did it on purpose (check out the Family Bed forum, really!) so that means I think it's easiest, most beneficial, and most comfy for all involved at our house to do nighttime parenting if the kid is in bed with us.  That said, our 3.5 yo son is in his little bed most nights now, by his choice - our bed is more crowded now with the new baby, and he likes his own space.

Something I found that's been helpful both in DS's bed and ours are these: http://www.magicbumpers.com/

 they keep DS from falling out of his little bed, and we're also using them on the big bed so baby can sleep on the outside sometimes.  Maybe you could try that with your 2yo and see if sleeping on the outside helps him take up less space?  I know it stinks getting kicked in the head and feeling crowded out of bed.

[tidepool]

My baby is 3 weeks as well.  We have been nursing side lying since pretty early, since I was so sore sitting up.  I did it like this.  Got her latched on while sitting and then moved to lying on my back so that she was nursing on my belly.  For awhile even that was enough relief for me.  Then I rolled to my side keeping her attached and settling her onto her side.  Her head was on my arm.  When she loses the latch it's a bit frustrating for her because my nipple isn't in the same orientation as when sitting.  I use my other hand to shape the breast so that she can get it in her mouth.  Sometimes it works and sometimes we return to sitting.  Eventually I got so that I could go from sitting to lying down with her attached in one movement.  Now we can start lying down, in fact, last night I woke up at 2am and she was nursing with both of us on our sides and I don't remember how she got started!  Really we're only starting to get comfortable with it and we've been practicing it a lot.  I think that's what it takes - practice.

Just keep trying.  If baby gets frustrated with the process remind him/her that you're both learning and that you will figure it out. 

All the best. 

[mamakat777]

I have done it since my babies were newborns and it helps you get so much more rest although it is true that babies tend to end up preferring it anything else.  You can combat that by laying them down by themselves for naps when they are done nursing.  I know everyone says not to but I find they are much more likely to sleep on their own if they sleep on their tummies and if the mattress is safely wrapped for SIDS prevention I don't see anything wrong with tummy sleeping.  It's the only way my babies sleep. 

That said, here's how I nurse/cosleep in the side lying position and keep my babies safe and happy.

*Lay down w/ both of you on your sides, tummy to tummy.  It's better for baby's spine than to be on back with head twisted to side.

*I have med/lrg breasts so in the beginning I have to hold my breast back a bit from baby's nose so he/she can breathe on my larger side.  You can also lean just a bit back on a pillow so that the breast in totally blocking baby's face.

*I ALWAYS have my baby's head resting in the crook of my elbow.  This is the most important thing.  It serves many purposes.  1) It keeps baby's head slightly up so gravity helps milk go/stay down and not come back up.  2) My elbow out to my side like that acts as a kind of kickstand so that it's very hard for me to roll onto baby after I fall asleep.  3) My arm there prevents hubby from rolling onto baby on the off chance he migrates over.  4) It helps keep baby from rolling out and away from me onto the floor, etc.  4) It's more comfy for baby, I think.  Imagine laying on your side w/o anything under your head-ouch.  You'd need a chiropractor after a while!

*I never sleep on the inside of the bed where baby could potentially roll between the wall and mattress.

*I have a large pillow laying length-wise on the outside of the bed to keep baby away from edge and to keep head away from nightstand corners just in case although my arm keeps baby safe--it's a precaution.  With my first baby I actually had a bassinet on my side of the bed so she could roll safely into it but it never happened.  I also rolled up a receiving blanket and had it behind her back so she wouldn't roll. 

*I would say a prayer for God to protect her and keep her safe every night before falling asleep.

*I used a light sheet to cover us up and didn't share a blanket with my husband, especially if baby was in the middle.  If he pulls up on the blanket baby could get head caught under it.  You really have to be most careful with blanket use.  Wear long sleeves to bed if you get cold and just pull blanket up to your hips.

*You may have to get baby latched on sitting up at first--you'll be pros in no time!

Good luck!

[shantibaby]

my lil man is 12 months, and a great eater, but there were difficulties at first, just be patient.... most nipples/breasts and babies figure it all out eventually...

what i haven't seen here yet is about using either breast per side.... at first i just used the bed-side bottom breast. but sometimes i feel i need to lay on my side opposite the breast i need to use, so then i just rotate my body to move the top breast down towards him and he latches onto it instead. sometimes now if the bottom breast gets empty, he'll get up and pull the bra down on the top side and latch on himself :-) then i move from the side/back of my ribs to the side/front of my ribs. feels good to change! when you are using the bottom breast, i highly recommend putting a pillow behind you.... so nice. and a pillow between your knees/ankles. aaaaahhh....

lil man was sleeping, woke up hungry, just ran in to top him off, lol! and i used the top breast :-) which reminded me.... two more things....

when baby was younger, for my head i used a smaller square pillow, like a couch pillow, in a regular pillow case. i now use a normal pillow for my head again, sometimes he uses it too.

the top arm! in the beginning, i would put my bottom arm above his head. but if i put my top arm over his head too, i felt in my sleep i might forget and elbow him in his tiny fragile head! because i nearly did once. so, i would usually tuck my wrist in between my legs, and the tension would hold my top arm in place. or i would sometimes find a comfortable balance on the side of my body. or, if you're using the pillow behind your back, on the pillow! but now, my sleeping self is fully rewired to unconsciously know that a small human is in my belly/breast area and i can put my top arm up and over him and there have been no issues of bonking him accidently.

good luck!

[shantibaby]

oops.... guess i only saw the first page of responses, that's why i thought that hadn't been covered yet. :-) plenty of us actually!

[DrBrockBaca]

I really appreciate all the advice! Two weeks ago I got rid of the nipple shield completely, and for a week or so I couldn't get her to latch while I was lying on my side, but a couple of days ago she did! She's still not really great at it and needs help, but we are working on it. I have to prop my self up on my elbow and use my bottom arm to put my nipple in her mouth and use my top arm to hold her in place. After she is latched for a few minutes and sucking well, I will slowly slide my bottom arm down. She doesn't stay latched as long in this position, but I am determined to keep practicing and make it work! I am afraid she doesn't get as much milk this way, though. Usually when she nurses I have to keep stimulating her or she will fall asleep, but if I am lying on my side I fall asleep, so then we just both end up asleep. Hopefully it will get better though! 

[kids are grown now]

hi


Yes I nursed my son lying down all the time. He is now 32 years old and it seems he was just a few weeks old. I am large breasted and don't recall much problem with it. I would lie down on my side or if he was nursing and wanted the other side I would sometimes move him to that side or other times roll more on my stomach to make the opposite side breast more accessible.


This was shocking to me. I had unfortunately my first and remember how exhausting it was as I had to wake up, go downstairs, get the bottle, warm it up, test on wrist, wait till it cooled enough, go back upstairs and feed him being sure the bottle did not tip and get any air into him and then pat and burp him and put hoim back to bed.. All this definitely woke me up. Later I bought a bottle warmer so I could warm it up upstairs at least.


With my younger who I nursed on demand till he weaned at age 4, feeding was a snap. We had a family bed and often he just found the breast himself while I was sleeping and nursed. It seems he feel asleep wrapping himself near the breast so he could find it when he wanted to. Sometimes I woke up when he woke me up and gave him the breast. I barely had to wake up..this was wonderful as this child wanted to nurse all the time. I remember trying to do my housework at 3 am as he sleep then and I could slip away. sometimes I had to do it at 3am with my son in a front baby carrier.I was able to get rest I would nto have gotten had I not been able to sleep the whole time he was nursing.


The difference in convenience between my 2 sons was amazing. I also remember nursing him in bed with him lying across my chest with me on my back. The memory of seeing him sleeping there so close as I breathed in his wonder and filled me with love and awe is still vivid in my mind all these years later.


I remember when I felt exhausted or sleep deprived, getting 2 yard sticks and lying them end to end and reminding myself..this is my son's whole life plus more inches and I will noit be much needed during many of these years, he will be on his own and not needing me..certainly not with the urgency he now needed me with..I reminded myself this is the dearst person in the world to me and realized these trouble and sacrifices and sleepless nights were a small price to pay to be able to be a mother...it it only an inch or so that he will have this intense need for me and when I saw that, it put things in prospective.

Often those intense early weeks of exhaution I saw were really ijust a fraction of an inch in his while lifespan, he would not be sleeping through he night and this made me happy, I could put him first when he really really needed me and made me feel more fulfilled that to this little person, I was the MOST important person in his life. He adored me and I felt so nurturing and loving when my kids were small and never have I despite being an extremely nurturing person by nature felt so womanly and happy to meet someone;s needs. Those years are such a treasure..and they will be for you too...you just have to get through them knowing this will not be forever and this, too, will pass and actually all too quickly. when we give the breast and us we are changing the course of our child's life..during that crucail time when Erick Erickson says a child learns lifelong trust versus mistrust (age 0-2) plus a myriad of other benefits many lifelong. You want to enjoy this time as things like this will not be there forever,. Trust me--I know and happily I can look back and say I did not miss my childrens childhood but relished it.

I suggest starting out sitting on the bed while your child latches on and then gradually leaning back and slowly getting more into a lying down position till baby gets used to it. Once you are comfortable that is is working well, you even try sleeping with it. Till then do slow breathing and relaxing techniques to get the most of your lying down time. Make sure the baby is latched on correctly. I was overweight and somewhat worried maybe I would roll over on the baby but of course never did.

I had been an extremely sound sleeper..in fact, when I was little could wake me up.  I remember my dad having to throw cold water on me and even pull the mattress of the bed to awaken me and that worried me, but I discovered with my child I woke up right away with the smallest sound and we never had any problems with sleeping or nursing while sleeping and lying down.


I suggest calling LaLeche League and talking to some leaders. If you cannot find any in your city, if you have free long distance or a phone card, call some in other cities. sometimes they are listed in the paper on the day when they list events and happenings (generally Sunday) or in the phone book.

They will be able to calm any fears and give you a lot of suggestions on how to do this. If you are not connecting with one lady, try another.

I would also ask them about the long amount of time she is taking to nurse and empty the breast. Maybe switch sides after 10 minutes or so she will be getting the fattier foremilk and be more filled up.. the more she nurses and the more vigorous the more milk you will produce. Keep trying and try to drink some relaxing tea and breathe deep so any worries and frustrations are not picked up that might be making things worst. Visualize it being successful and know you will be able to do this. Be patient. The nursing relationship is just starting and sometimes takes a while to all work out but stick with it as the rewards are so wonderful. she has time to learn and even though you think you won't be able to make it without rest, you will. All those things I worried over and fretted about now seem so small but at the time they seemed so big.  things I thought would never pass or end, did.

Be sure to see if you can get someone to help relive you so you can rest during that time.  Maybe barter with another mom to trade some time watching each others babies and that way it will not cost anyone anything.  Try to make some friends with people in a group that you can get to know and trust help and learn from and have some happy, built in playmates for your daughter down the road. Many times my friends in La League group would let me call them day or night and talk to me as long as I needed it showing me with their actions how to be a better and more nurturing mother, gently nudging me to have a healthier diet with our picnics. parties, snacks during meetings as I wanted to fit it and that lead to me now eating such a healthy diet and a 30 year interest in nutrition, herbs and alternate health that has enabled me to help thousands of sick people. League changed the course of my life. It was the most nurturing I ever have been, I learned how to be an excellent mother by watching excellent mothers.


I highly suggest you go to a group and see if you can benefit from this and give it a fair try before stopping as I was involved for well over a decade and kept learning. If you do not have any people who might help watch the baby while you take a nap or get out once in a while, look to family or maybe try finding people at a church or something who might want to trade time so they can also have some free time to allow them to come back refreshed.


Even if it does not work out (but it will) try not to stress over it too much. Take this time to remind yourself in a while you will be able to go back to getting enough sleep and take this time to enjoy this blessed gift because trust it passes all too quickly. We who are mothers are blessed even though at times it does not feel like a blessing, but it is..there is nothing like being able to nurture. love, and rear a person and it is very satisfying and fun and endearing and hectic and all those things that parenting becomes.

[kids are grown now]

@ wake up

excellent post..I highly agree with all you said.. I practiced cosleeping after reading the book the family bed when my son was born in 1979..in fact, invited my older son back in there too.

One day after a long, long time, my older son decided to move back to his room and my youngest decided to go with him and they slept together in the same bed for some time and cuddled and now that they are both grown they are very close. In fact, they are closer to each other than they are to me and already got along great.

I was a very sound sleeper but instantly woke up the second my son made the slightest noise and never ever rolled on him etc just like you stay.

I also feel the woman looking for suggestions on how to get her son in his own bed, needs to consider that though it may be at times inconvenient etc, the benefits this practice will have on his psyche will be well well worth it. Just like child led weaning, kids will tell you when they are ready to move on to the next stage and they all do with time.

He is lucky she had him in there and nursed him and I am sure she will if she thinks about what this means to her child will reconsider. I followed the crappy advice of the day to let my son cry it out though every cell in my body was longing to go in that room the next day I found he was sucking his thumb and rubbing the silky edge of the blanket to self sooth. He remained a thumb sucker till he was 9 and rubbed the "creamy" of the blanket often as he carried the blanket with him where ever he went for the longest time.

What a mistake..he had learned what I did not want to teach--to gain comfort from an object instead of a living breathing person.

I typed a long thing on this which I decided not to post and it made me cry even though he is 38 years old now. I cried because I always felt I let him down and after that mistake of listening to the wrong "experts"  I did what "I" thought was right not what may have been in fashion or typical for the day..doing all the things few did back then despite people complaining and worrying..I did Lamaze (still rare back then)m family bed, marsupial mothering, on demand breastfeeding, health food, child led weaning till age 4 (he also nursed when he asked at age 5 when he broke his arm on the way to the hospital) etc.

I did not do what doctors said if I disagreed and they got mad too and told me none of their other moms ever questioned/challenged them and did what he said without a question..if I could not I would have done a home birth. I got flack even yesterday when I refused a surprise mammogram the doctor said to do as I did not feel this was the right thing for me--they actually had 4 nurses and a doctor try to change my mind and they looked angry that I dared refuse this test) and I lived my life now as I feel is right not everyone else.

I learned to have moral courage and made sure to pass that value on to my children--to always do what was right even if they stood alone or were ostracized. But it is too bad I had to learn that I am the best expert of what is right for me and my kids then not some book export at the expense of my son. I am sure he does not care at all, but it bothers me that I did not let him stay in the bedroom or better yet the bed. I love the family bed...it was a wonderful decision and I am glad I read that book that was preaching something that helped not hurt my child.

Edited by kids are grown now - 8/27/11 at 2:48am

[kids are grown now]

ooh just saw your latest post. Yay..I knew you could do it and it will get better. You all are just getting into the groe of things. Soon you will both be pros and helping others who are new succeed.

Dedicated moms can do anything they set their minds to.