Originally Posted by cassandraz
I'm just choosing to homeschool or put her in a Waldorf school, aka like minded parents.
Homeschooling is not an opt out. We are former homeschoolers, and my kids learned about the Disney channel and lots of other things at homeschool group. Unless you go raise your kids in a cave with a rock in front of it, you get to deal with this stuff one way or another.
I feel the need to give my mothering.com credentials:
- both my kids nursed with child led weaning. I tandum nursed.
- I carried them in slings, and wore out a sling with each child
- we had a family bed for years, and my kids transitioned to their own beds when they were about 4 or 5
- my children have only known gentle discipline. (though I have yelled a few times, and given a couple of time outs over the years)
- I used to be the librarian for my LLL group.
- we started out as unschoolers, and I help found a homeschooling group
- my kids currently attend a crunchy alternative school, with a kiln, green house and chickens
- they are only partially vaxed, and we delayed the few vaxes that we got
And, having said all that, playing with the Wii and just having fun hasn't undone one thing. They are really awesome people.
I asked my kids about "cool" tonight and if they thought they were cool and I'll share their answers with you
DD#1 (age 14 and dx'ed with Asperger's and a social anxiety disorder) "I don't really get what cool is. Some kids are really hung up on cool and make themselves miserable over it, but I just ignore it because it confuses me"
DD#2 (age 13 - and laughing) "Ironically -- she's considered cool by some, partly because she really doesn't care! Some people consider me cool, and some don't. The definitions of what is cool are really different in different groups. I do like it when people think I'm cool, but it doesn't really bother when other people don't. I just consider how they define cool, and think about whether or not I value their opinions."
I think they are pretty grounded people -- in spite of being allowed to do things just because they are fun.
Happiness, fun and social connections are actually quite good. Raising a kid with autism, for whom none of those things are natural, has shown me that. I honestly would have handled all this stuff differently with my second child if I hadn't seen it all through the eyes of "A Special Needs Mom" first.
And, standing on my soap box as a senior member who now has teens, I think think that getting more hung up on your philosophy that what is actually going on with the child who is right in front of you is a waste of the moment you are in. Just be in the moment with your child. Empathize with them. It doesn't mean always say yes, but rather, just parent from your heart to their heart.
Edited by Linda on the move - 8/5/11 at 1:11pm