want to scale back or quit work

[lavatea]

Can you guys help me find ways to possibly make scaling back at work or even quitting work a possibility? Even a plan to get to that in x amount of months/years/whatever would maybe make me feel better.

Here's our situation:

DH is a manager at a retail operation and I am an RN. I'm the one wanting to not work. DH works long, oddly timed hours (not 8-5) and I work nights (3 12-hr shifts per week). We have to pay a sitter for a 3 hour overlap each time I work (unless it happens to land on DH's day off or the kids are visiting relatives or something). Several times in the past few weeks I've had to go in late b/c babysitters fell through or whatever. We also share a car which is very challenging. We currently live away from immediate family so there's not much free help available to us.

We're currently in an overpriced apartment through the end of January, but the lease is such that it would be extremely pricey to get out of it (it basically boils down to you keep paying the rent plus pay a big fee for the privilege). We're also paying back my student loans. (As much as I wanted to be a nurse I wish I had scrapped school until after my kids were grown. Student loan debt is like being in prison.)

I contribute just a little over half of our income. I'm at the beginning of my work career so at my current hospital going into a part-time position is not going to pay more per hour. So if/when I go part time it will cut into our income.

Let me lay out our income/expenses for a typical month so you guys will have a better understanding of our situation (some of these things - like income and electric - vary a bit from month to month):

$2455 my income (this varies a bit month to month)
$2035 DH's income

$224.50 (5% of income) tithes
$550 food
$300 gas
$97.00 cell phone
$143.25 student loan #1
$10.00 doctor bill (will be completely paid off in 2 months)
$10.00 dentist bill
$360.00 evening babysitting (we often get by without paying this much
$200.00 100 ea. for me and DH to spend as we see fit
$25.00 prepaid legal
$35.83 internet
$115.00 student loan #2
$331.39 student loan #3
$71.09 student loan #4
$70.24 satellite
$50.00 storage
$25.31 water
$1138 rent
$115 electric
$85.96 life insurance
$50.00 for family activities (some months we don't have enough to use this)
$131.37 prepay for the OB I'm using
$50.00 date budget (some months we don't have enough to use this)
$55.00 debt repayment plan on one of my defaulted credit cards
$45.00 DD's dance lessons
$99.72 car/renter's insurance

Any extra that might be saved in one category or another or that comes in extra as income gets put into savings for things like birthdays, Christmas, emergencies, etc.

Laying it all out like this once again brings home the reality that it probably won't work for me to cut back or be a SAHM. Even if we cut all extras and live very simply and move into a cheap, cruddy roach motel apartment or something it wouldn't work. We have one car, and it's over 10 years old now. We have horrible credit from letting debts go unpaid while I was in school, which I don't even care that much about credit b/c I'd LOVE to live outside of that system, but it will probably keep us from getting a mortgage on a reasonably priced house that would cost us way less per month to live in.

Does anyone see a way out?

[marimara]

Well I'll see if I can give you a little help.

First you need to make a list of your future goals.  Home buying? getting out of debt? being a sahm?

Other thoughts:  what is it that you don't like so much about being an RN?  Perhaps you could find a more fulfulling way to use your degree (that you are still paying for) and keep your license/status up.  Maybe home health care?  I have no idea, if that's possible licensing wise but my idea is to look for ways to make that job more meaningful, and part time.  Maybe just weekends/  I saw that you are working 3-12 hr shifts a week.  What about cutting to just weekends? then hubbie watches the kids, you will  have no time with your husband but if you trim the budget fast if might get you to your goal faster.  Getting out of debt isn't easy or fun.  Its easier to keep working jobs that we don't really want so that we don't have to deal with really uncomfortable transitions.  

If you really want to quit working altogether here are some ideas to trim your budget:

I see that Satellite and internet are about $100, maybe you can call around to get a better deal.  If you both are working so much, the kids are in school?, and no one is home most of the time, why even bother with the satellite?  We lived without cable for years and years and it's really not a big deal after about a month or so.

Now Dave Ramsay has a great plan to get you out of debt and to live debt free but you are going to need your income to do it.  

What's the storage?  is it really worth keeping?  That's 600/yr.

What's prepaid legal?

If I were you and I wanted to be a sahm I would keep the job for now and have a serious belt tightening and keep working till I were out of debt, then quit or find a way to make $ working for myself.  I would start snowballing the debt.  As long as you have debt there will always be something hanging over head and there always will be people waiting with their hands out.  

other thoughts:  Do you have any $ in the bank? Emergency fund?  

*** I would get the book Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey and put that plan into action.  

[lavatea]

Thanks for the reply. I am familiar with DR and his system, though I haven't read the book.

Goals are pay debt, get house, but most of all stay home as much as possible with my kids (sort of like Suze Orman - people then things).

I am in the process of scaling back at work right now while I look for a different job. It's not that I don't like my job. It's just that the schedule isn't working for us. I thought nights would have me with the kids more, but I actually feel like I'm with them less b/c I'm sleeping so much. The kids need me (awake and alert) more and the house is a perpetual wreck it seems.

We actually had a discussion today about ditching the satellite (we've lived without it before), but we didn't really come to a decision. We could get rid of the storage if we were in a house. The apartment doesn't have enough room for all of our stuff, though. The prepaid legal is for making our will, but we've been paying it for a year now and haven't gotten the will done. We talk about it all of the time. It really needs to get cancelled.

Thanks for the suggestions so far. Hope the above clarifies the situation a little bit.

If we move to a different city like we're trying to do, my pay per hour should go up so maybe working part-time will be feasible even long term at that point.

[MacroMama]

Suze Orman says people first, then things, but that includes taking care of the people in your life, not necessarily spending all the time with them as much as that would be wonderful.

If you're a Suze fan, I'm assuming your life insurance is term life insurance. What you pay monthly seems a little high for you and your husband so if you haven't contacted SelectQuote.com you may want to consider getting a quote from them.

Keep in mind that moving can be expensive and before making that commitment to look at the numbers and make sure it is worth it.

Those and the ones PP mentioned are the ones that come to mind. Good luck with everything and I hope you are able to spend more time with your kids! :)

PS-You can download Suze Orman podcasts onto your computer if you decide to cut out satellite for free.

[K1329]

Check into consolidating your student loans. If they are Stafford, check Direct Loan consolidation through the government. Interest rates are low, there are repayment options that include loan forgiveness for nonprofit (maybe your employer?) employees, etc. That might be one way to lower your monthly obligations.

[lavatea]

The last two (that I'm aware of) student loans I have just entered repayment. I got the bills today...$204 and $55 a month. Even if I stay full time we can't afford that! Please tell me more about consolidation. Any drawbacks? How long does the process take? Should I shop around for the lender to consolidate through?

[oceane]

I can only see few possible tweaks since a lot of what you're paying is to get out of debt. Is there a way you could switch to a cheaper cellphone plan or a prepaid option? $100 seems a lot for cellphones. Instead of satellite, could you use netflix or something similar and view movies etc. on demand? Maybe that could reduce your monthly fee there. I guess you could also reduce your "fun money" from $100 each to $50 each, although it's nice to have discretionary income.

Sorry, I'm no help with the student loans.

[lindsaye3]

Do you have a landline as well as cellphones?  We got rid of our cell phones and got prepaid cell phones and now spend about 30 every three months on cellphones, but we rarely use them as we have a landline. People don't need to instantly get ahold of us except in emergencies, so leave a message at the house.  Also, get rid of satellite, you don't need more tv in your life - we haven't had cable/sat in over 15 years, don't miss it, don't care that I never saw the Sopranos - we recently got netflix on demand, and are kinda horrified at some of the shows, especially so-called children's shows.

Definitely look into consolidating your student loans and yes, shop around some.  We did and although we have to pay longer, we don't have to pay as much each month and can apply extra $ to the loans when we can.

Prepaid legal? Dump that.  Contact several local estate lawyers, many do simple estate planning for an inexpensive flat fee, you could save the $25 a month to pay the attorney, especially if you haven't used it in a year. I use to work for an estate planning attorney, and it is simple to do simple wills, powers of attorney, etc.  We charged $300 - $400 for simple estate plans. It really is a lot of just plugging in the names and a few individual things. I actually heard once that prepaid legal was one of the biggest ripoffs because most people don't need it or use it, they have just heard how outrageouse lawyers' fees are (which they are) but for something simple, they aren't that expensive.  You need an estate plan, not criminal defense or being sued, that is when attorney's add up.

My SIL kept storage for 7 years while living with my inlaws.  When she finally moved, she realized she didn't need or want 80% of the stuff she had been paying a storage fee on.  So really look and and think about what you will need when you get a bigger place, if you really are going to use that stuff when you do move to a larger place.  She really didn't need to pay storage on a 15 year old sofa, it was trashed, out of date and smelly.... So be really sure you want all that stuff, maybe you can cut back the size of your storage unit and then it would be cheaper.

And as nice as it is to have walking around money, $100 each to spend as you see fit?  That could definitely be cut. Look at what you are spending that on.  To go coffee?  Snacks?  Lunch? Clothes?  What could be cut there so walking around money was less?

Anyway, those are a few things I see that could be cut/changed.

[crunchy_mommy]

I'll take this line-by-line, not saying you need to do everything on here but just listing some of the possibilities

$224.50 (5% of income) tithes -- I'm a big believer in tithing so I'm reluctant to say anything on that, but you have a high debt load, maybe you could calculate your 5% after debt payments?

$550 food -- might be hard to cut back here but groceries IS a good area to look at... with coupons or fewer convenience foods or shopping at different stores maybe you could cut $100 or so?

$97.00 cell phone -- seems a bit high, is there anything you can cut here? texting, or switch to a landline with a pay-as-you-go cell for emergencies?

$143.25 student loan #1
$115.00 student loan #2
$331.39 student loan #3
$71.09 student loan #4 -- definitely look into consolidating these, if they are all federal you can just do the direct loan consolidation which as far as I can tell is the best option (some of the other options look like scams to me, but I'm not sure

$360.00 evening babysitting (we often get by without paying this much) -- is there any schedule you can come up with where you WOULDN'T need a sitter? like if you only worked weekends or something?

$200.00 100 ea. for me and DH to spend as we see fit -- seems like a lot, especially considering your debt load...

$25.00 prepaid legal -- like a pp said, this probably isn't worth it, but I'm not too knowledgeable on that!

$70.24 satellite -- get rid of it if you can

$50.00 storage -- if/when you get a house, chances are that you aren't going to want or need a lot of what you're storing (unless they are family heirlooms or something)... I would strongly suggest going through everything and getting a smaller unit or storing things with friends/family...

$50.00 for family activities (some months we don't have enough to use this)
$50.00 date budget (some months we don't have enough to use this) -- start looking for & brainstorming free couple or family activities... we have lots of fun for free these days!

$45.00 DD's dance lessons -- is dance something she loves or just a casual pastime?

$99.72 car/renter's insurance -- if you haven't gotten a quote lately, check with a few companies to see if you can get a cheaper policy... IME they slowly raise your premiums every 6mos or so and eventually you are paying a lot more than you started out paying and you don't even notice it (I need to get new quotes myself soon actually)

I think it would be theoretically possible to save at least $500/mo depending which strategies you choose to adopt.

[lavatea]

Thanks for all of the suggestions (if you've got more, please keep them coming). I'm going to look at these this week and talk to DH and see what we can do. I'll try to update as changes are made.