I am new to the Mothering community, but had been a magazine subscriber since I was pregnant with my first child in 2009.
I am trying to finalize my plans for a homebirth, but have a few concerns/obstacles that I don't really know how to handle. First of all, I am due with my second child in early November. My daughter is 19 months old. We live in a unique community, because it is an island (like, we literally take a boat to the mainland). :) I knew I was seriously interested in having a homebirth this time around since my first childbirth experience was less than ideal. We have one midwife on island, and although I'm not sure we "click" the way I would like to, she is my only real option. My comfort came in knowing that I have an amazing doula chosen, who is not only a friend to me, but someone in whom I have 100% confidence and feel at ease with and consider a good friend. Furthermore, my mother just passed away, and my husband's family (sister, mother) lives in the midwest, and does not plan to be here for the birth, so I don't really have a family support network built in.
I was a little hesitant to go with my preferred choice of a homebirth, being a little unsure about my midwife, and just being new to homebirth in general. My husband wasn't totally supportive from the beginning, and in the meantime, my mother was dying and I didn't find much time to put real thought into the decision. Now I am about 6 months pregnant and the time to decide is here. I met with my midwife and doula this week and afterwards, my husband and I decided that a homebirth was the way to go, and that we were confident that it would be a good situation with our doula there to support us and fill in where we might feel like the midwife was not meeting our expectations (the midwife is just not all that warm and fuzzy...).
Here's the issue. My doula just emailed us and told us that she had made a prior committment to a very good friend of hers, who is also due around the same time as I am. She feels that it is unlikely that we will go into labor at the same time, since we have virtually the exact same due date (give or take a day), but recognizes that it may happen, and wanted to let us know before making a committment to us and moving forward with us.
What should i do? I don't want to go into this birth process with a shady plan, a midwife I'm not 100% sure is what I need, and a doula who might not be able to be there!?!? It's just a little scary. What do you think?