~Calling All Homebirthers!~

[miss_honeyb]

Hey Mamas, I'm dying to get some chat going!   I'd love to hear from others planning a homebirth for these April babes.

• Have you had (or planned) a homebirth before?

• If yes, are you seeing the same midwife as before?

• If you've had a homebirth before, what was your favorite thing that you had, and what did you wish that you would have had?

• If you haven't had a homebirth before, what are you most looking forward to?

• Do you have any fears that you feel you need to work through?

And of course any and all other homebirth chatter!

[miss_honeyb]

I'll just answer:

My first 3 babies were in the hospital and the youngest two (DS who is 3.5 and DD who is 21 months) were both homebirths. I loved them!!! I will most likely see the same midwife as I saw for both of the others, as she's pretty much like family to me now. 

For my second HB I had a birthtub and I'll never go without it again!! It was amazing. I wish I had had it for my first HB.    Also, I'm glad I had an herbal supplement for my afterbirth pains, which after the first couple of babies were pretty much worse than labor.

I think I'll always have to deal with the fear of my baby being okay, because our first son died unexpectedly shortly after birth, and there's always that moment for me when I have a tiny bit of panic, "Is he/she all right??" just after the baby is born. But thankfully it's no longer an overwhelming fear. Having 3 healthy births since then (2 of which where wonderfully-supported HB's) has helped me tremendously. A healthy baby is never guaranteed, but the vast majority of the time, BIRTH WORKS.

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

Yes, I was hoping someone would start a homebirth thread!

• Have you had (or planned) a homebirth before?: I planned a homebirth with my daughter from the beginning. After 34 hours of labor the pain switched from "contractions hurt" to "something is WRONG" and when I felt inside I felt something "squishy." Transferred to the hospital and 6 hours later signed the papers for a c-section. Turns out she occiput posterior (we knew that one) and a brow presentation (surprise!).

• If yes, are you seeing the same midwife as before?: Yes. My midwife is truly amazing, and I am so thrilled she'll attend my next birth. I'm also particularly lucky as she doesn't accept many clients anymore. I think part of why she likes me is I actually pay on time.

• If you've had a homebirth before, what was your favorite thing that you had, and what did you wish that you would have had?: Favorite was definitely the pool. I spent 30 hours sitting on warm water, and it was heaven. I wish I had a doula. I felt like I had enough support, but with a long labor it was really wearing on the people present (DH, midwife, midwife's assistant). Assuming my midwife approves (I live in Illinois so we're working under the radar) I'll hire a doula.

• If you haven't had a homebirth before, what are you most looking forward to?

• Do you have any fears that you feel you need to work through?: Yes, I'm terrified that there's something wrong with my pelvis that makes my baby(ies) want to see where they're going and thus not come out. The pain that sent me ot the hospital was a searing burning pain in my bones, and I was convinced I'd never walk again. I'm afraid that transition/pushing will feel much the same way and I won't make it. Which is even scarier, because being a homebirth transfer with an illegal midwife is not fun.

[bradleymama]

Hi Melissa, I'm also having my 5th! 

My first two were natural hospital births, and my 3rd and 4th were planned homebirths. 

I'm definitely sticking with my amazingly talented, funny, prayerful and compassionate midwife!

Favorite things: DH.  Christian Birth "Mantras" - Bible verses, one-liner type prayers.  Video camera.  Candles.  Piano hymns on CD.  Sourdough toast after the birth.

I can't think of anything I wish I had, but am pondering that one.

No fears, particularly, but I have found that any kind of stress or "baggage" in my life effects my births - even if it's totally unrelated to birth/baby.  I'm focusing on trying to really deal with stuff & to spend time reflecting on myself and my life so that I can address issues beforehand as needed.

I'll add that one of my favorite things about homebirth is the ownership that you have when getting ready for the birth.  I simply love washing and laying out that little hat, the first onesie, a sweet blanket ... when I gave birth in the hospital, it was just "standard issue" stuff right at first.  Getting the birth supplies organized right in my own home and all the while being so excited and so happy about the new baby.  I love that part.

[secondimpression]

• Have you had (or planned) a homebirth before?

Yes! DS was a planned UC that went horribly, awfully wrong when I hit transition, needed support and all XH could do was yell at me (inbetween flipping pages in his Batman comic book). I wound up transferring to the hospital and being sorely punished for being a homebirth transfer and have the physical scars to prove it. My patient rights were badly abused and my only advocate (XH) was "too tired" to stay at the hospital with me and left to go home and sleep. It was a truely horrific experience and has involved lots of therapy to just begin to work through.

When DD came around, I was in a new relationship with DP (she was concieved accidentally after just 2 months of dating, it was the happiest accident of either of our lives!). I hired a midwife very early on (like 6 weeks!) and the birth was beautifully peaceful and nearly pain free. DP gave me exactly the support I asked of him and my MW and her assistants stayed out of my way exactly as I had asked. DD's birth was the most mindblowing experience I could possibly imagine and I can't wait to do it again!

• If yes, are you seeing the same midwife as before?

No

• If you've had a homebirth before, what was your favorite thing that you had, and what did you wish that you would have had?

Gatorade and straws were my favorites! I wish I hadn't put a tarp under the pool (everytime someone moved it crinkled and drove me NUTS and there wasn't enough water splashing to justify it) and I'll be going with a smaller pool this time, 170 gallons was more than our water heater could handle and way more space than I needed.

• If you haven't had a homebirth before, what are you most looking forward to?

• Do you have any fears that you feel you need to work through?

DS's birth left some deep psychological scars and it hit me hard how loudly they came back up during DD's pushing phase. I'm getting through them though!

[loudmama]

I will meet with a home birth practice, but I have no idea if I will be able to home birth. My 10 yo DD was a c-section after 7 hours of pushing. She was fine through out, she was just not really moving down. ( I did get to 10cm though.) Things most likely would have been different if I had planned a home birth. My 5 yo DS was a planned & successful VBAC. Had home birth been an option, I would have considered it. But no home birth midwives would attend primary VBAC at the time. He ended up coming 10 weeks early due to a placental abruption.

Given my history, it just may not be an option. Both pregnancies in isolation wouldn't necessarily be an issue, but happening to the same person, it may be. So, we'll see. I'm going to make an appointment with some midwives & see what happens. Explore my options. It bums me out that I didn't feel comfortable enough to explore home birth with my first, but it can't be changed. I know my hubby & I can advocate for the birth we want in whatever circumstances may happen, so I'm ok right now. I think we can get a good care provider for a hospital birth if that is the right path. I heavily involved in the birth community in my area, so I think it's going to work the way it needs.

But if you are thinking of a home birth, especially if it's your first or you haven't had any complicated birth or pregnancy problems in the past, please consider Seriously.

L

[Liss86]

Hii mamas,
 
• Have you had (or planned) a homebirth before?

I am planning a hb this time around. This will be my second baby. My first was a birth center birth. Just as I convinced DP a hb was a good idea (the birth center CNMs did both home and birth center births) we found out we had to move bc of health insurance. We interviewed a CPM. I just adored her and new she was the one I needed with me in labor and really wanted her to catch our baby but DP, he didn't feel comfortable with our midwife not being a CNM. we asked her to be our doula. She said yes. We picked our house bc it was closest to our birth center at 2.5 miles away. I still just barely made it there. I was pushi before I left my house and was crowning as I was at the door of the birth center. I didn't really feel supported after my labor by our birth center and my doula ended up picking up the pieces where the birth center left. She ended up doing the heel prick for us and hearing test and checked me out. The birth center's person just came and asked questions about the baby's ppoop and stuff which is impt. But didn't check my nipples or talk to me about how I was doing. I had ppd and ughh. Since our CPM doula went above and beyond(basically all the things i think she does for her clients as a midwife) I think that helped DP This time around to actually be open to it. We have our hello visit for questions in 2-3 weeks. I can't wait and am very very very excited to finally have my Homebirth. Yay!
 
• If yes, are you seeing the same midwife as before?
We have moved again and will be seeing a different midwife and there are two this time.
 
• If you've had a homebirth before, what was your favorite thing that you had, and what did you wish that you would have had?
 
• If you haven't had a homebirth before, what are you most looking forward to?
All of the preparation of my home. Birthing in the water. Not have to get in the car while I am pushing(I assertively told DP as I stood up to leave in between my 2min. Long pushing contractions that "next time I am not going anywhere") lol
 
• Do you have any fears that you feel you need to work through?
 Being able to find a great doula again. I think support after my labor is a big thing for me. Also we live in a state that is first or second(or was when I was pregnant last time) highest csection rate in the country and I would hate to end up in a hospital here.

I look forward to hearing all about your experiences and chatting more over the next couple months. Sooo exciting!

Big hugs
Edited by Liss86 - 8/4/11 at 1:14pm

[Hooplehead]

I am very interested in the concept of a home birth.  I had a natural hospital birth - basically paid thousands of dollars for the "privilege" of having my baby in the hospital.  It was not a bad experience but we did end up with a overzealous nurse that caused us an extra day of stay.

I live in a backwards state where it is illegal for midwives to attend a home birth.  

Is living within 30 minutes of a hospital still a recommendation?  I am pretty rural so that is pushing it.

[zuzusplace]

I'm planning my second home birth.16 Actually, when I read your posts Melissa I feel like we're birthing soul mates :lol16 I'm pregnant with number 5 also, and my first 3 were hospital births.16 My oldest daughter stopped breathing at the hospital but they were able to resuscitate her.16 I think the fear of a repeat is the only thing that kept me in the hospital with the next two.

16

I loved the homebirth and can't wait to do it again (even with a 48 hour unmedicated labor :huh ).16 We've got the same midwife assisting (our first appointment in the 30th).
16

Originally Posted by miss_honeyb16

Hey Mamas, I'm dying to get some chat going! 16 I'd love to hear from others planning a homebirth for these April babes.

16

• Have you had (or planned) a homebirth before?

16

• If yes, are you seeing the same midwife as before?

16

• If you've had a homebirth before, what was your favorite thing that you had, and what did you wish that you would have had?

16

• If you haven't had a homebirth before, what are you most looking forward to?

16

• Do you have any fears that you feel you need to work through?

16

16

And of course any and all other homebirth chatter!

16

[dealic]

Hi!

This is our first baby so no homebirth before, but we are hoping for one this time. However, we have a very small apartment so I am not yet sure if the logistics will make it possible. In either case, we are using midwives. I spoke to them the day after I got a positive result, and am on the list. So I guess we will discuss with them what is feasible, and go from there. Since we are in Ontario, either way, we pay nothing so we have the luxury to do whatever suits us best.

The thing I look forward to the most is the birthing pool. Even now, I want a big pool to soak in. Water is very relaxing to me and I am counting on that in labour.

[Tracy McCall]

• Have you had (or planned) a homebirth before?

First baby!  My mom was a student midwife when I was younger (she's now an RN), so I attended several homebirths, and now she works in a women's health center, with both doctors and midwives.  As I was growing up, I spent a lot of time at the birth center where she was working, and that was always where I envisioned myself giving birth.  However, that is in NM, and we are in AZ.  There are only 1 or 2 birth centers here (last time I checked) and neither are near our house.  We are still deciding between homebirth and natural hospital, as I hear the hospital has very nice rooms.  We are touring next week.

• If yes, are you seeing the same midwife as before?

The midwife we will use if we decide on a homebirth is my naturopath, who is also a midwife.  I have been seeing her for a couple years and feel very comfortable with her, and so does my husband.

• If you haven't had a homebirth before, what are you most looking forward to?

Being in control of the situation.  That is probably the biggest thing that would hold me back from a hospital birth (especially if they have nice rooms with tubs, as I hear they do), that I would be subject to their policies, and random nurses I've never met.  I have read way too many horror stories of the unsupportive, nasty nurses. 

• Do you have any fears that you feel you need to work through? 

Of course!  I think my biggest obstacle is trusting my body.  I am a huge hypochondriac, and it's always hard for me to tell when my body is telling me something and when I am making it up.  I will definitely be working through that over the next few months!  (I have a huge pile of books next to my bed...including Birthing From Within, Spiritual Midwifery and Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives...)

[miss_honeyb]

Originally Posted by sunflwrmoonbeam 

Yes, I was hoping someone would start a homebirth thread!

• Have you had (or planned) a homebirth before?: I planned a homebirth with my daughter from the beginning. After 34 hours of labor the pain switched from "contractions hurt" to "something is WRONG" and when I felt inside I felt something "squishy." Transferred to the hospital and 6 hours later signed the papers for a c-section. Turns out she occiput posterior (we knew that one) and a brow presentation (surprise!).

• If yes, are you seeing the same midwife as before?: Yes. My midwife is truly amazing, and I am so thrilled she'll attend my next birth. I'm also particularly lucky as she doesn't accept many clients anymore. I think part of why she likes me is I actually pay on time.

• If you've had a homebirth before, what was your favorite thing that you had, and what did you wish that you would have had?: Favorite was definitely the pool. I spent 30 hours sitting on warm water, and it was heaven. I wish I had a doula. I felt like I had enough support, but with a long labor it was really wearing on the people present (DH, midwife, midwife's assistant). Assuming my midwife approves (I live in Illinois so we're working under the radar) I'll hire a doula.

• If you haven't had a homebirth before, what are you most looking forward to?

• Do you have any fears that you feel you need to work through?: Yes, I'm terrified that there's something wrong with my pelvis that makes my baby(ies) want to see where they're going and thus not come out. The pain that sent me ot the hospital was a searing burning pain in my bones, and I was convinced I'd never walk again. I'm afraid that transition/pushing will feel much the same way and I won't make it. Which is even scarier, because being a homebirth transfer with an illegal midwife is not fun.

Wow mama, you've really been through a lot! I've known a couple mamas whose labors have lasted that long and I just. can't. imagine. I've always had fast labors and I feel like they've pushed me to the limit of how far I can go. You are truly amazing! I really hope you have an amazing HB this time!  

[miss_honeyb]

Originally Posted by zuzusplace 

I'm planning my second home birth.16 Actually, when I read your posts Melissa I feel like we're birthing soul mates :lol16 I'm pregnant with number 5 also, and my first 3 were hospital births.16 My oldest daughter stopped breathing at the hospital but they were able to resuscitate her.16 I think the fear of a repeat is the only thing that kept me in the hospital with the next two.

16

I loved the homebirth and can't wait to do it again (even with a 48 hour unmedicated labor :huh ).16 We've got the same midwife assisting (our first appointment in the 30th).
16

16

  I love having a birthing soul mate!!  Our son was also resuscitated but didn't make it.   And I *know* it was fear that drove us to be in the hospital - very high-tech, and induced - with the next one. Thankfully all went well, but it wasn't how we thought birth should be and we were able to work through our fear enough to do homebirths with the next two.  I hope this labor is shorter for you, though, mama! You're tough!! 

[miss_honeyb]

• If you haven't had a homebirth before, what are you most looking forward to?
All of the preparation of my home. Birthing in the water. Not have to get in the car while I am pushing(I assertively told DP as I stood up to leave in between my 2min. Long pushing contractions that "next time I am not going anywhere") lol
 

[RosieL]

• Have you had (or planned) a homebirth before?  Nope, this is my first pregnancy. 

• If yes, are you seeing the same midwife as before? We went to several information sessions in January soon after starting TTC. I immediately felt great about one of the practices. There are two midwives in the practice, and both attend all births except in a rare case when they have their sub come in. I'll see one MW for all my care and she'll be the attending, the other will be the assistant at birth. 

• If you haven't had a homebirth before, what are you most looking forward to? I'm so excited to do prenatal appointments at home, to be able to work through questions and fears, and to be able to be at home through labor and birth. I'm already starting to focus my energy on being happy and excited about the birth. I have a couple friends who are literally terrified. One friend recently told me that her birth was like hell on earth. I don't doubt it was horribly difficult, but I also don't think she was well prepared at all. :-/ The most exciting thing that I'm looking forward to is being in or climbing into bed with my newborn and DH and having our first snuggle together as a family. I get choked up thinking about that moment already. 

• Do you have any fears that you feel you need to work through? Normally I'm a thorough researcher of all potential outcomes. But my experience researching all the things that could be going wrong with conception taught me some patience. We'll see if I can hold off on the research and fear-inducing exploration of potential complications for birth. I believe a couple should be well-educated on what-ifs, but at a certain point I really want to put my trust in my MW to tell me if something isn't going right and until then focus on a complication-free birth. From my reading of some birth stories, fear or disruption is a major impediment to labor. My focus will be to prepare to have as little of that as possible! 

[Hillaryblaire]

• Have you had (or planned) a homebirth before? No, this is my first pregnancy! I am so excited to plan our homebirth!! :) 

• If you haven't had a homebirth before, what are you most looking forward to? I've been reading birth stories and birth blogs for a year now. I am so excited about birthing at home! 

• Do you have any fears that you feel you need to work through? I feel pretty confident right now, but this pregnancy is so new it hasn't really sunk in yet. I'm sure things will come up later that I'll need to work through. 

(We're "due" April 12th!) 
 

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

Rosie: I'm a whiner who had a 40 hour natural labor/homebirth that went wrong and wound up in the hospital and needing a c-section. I mention all this to put the following statement in perspective: labor is not that bad. It's really really not. Even after my marathon labor and c-section the next week I was all "that was great, I would so do it again!" but I'm kind of nuts that way :) A few things I learned last time around, in order of importance:

1) Natural labor really lets you tune into your body in amazing ways. There is a big difference between normal labor, which does indeed hurt, and something is wrong labor. I was perfectly happy with normal labor (with lots of swearing) up to 8 cms. At 8cms my daughter's horrific position came into play, the quality of the pain shifted dramatically and I went from "this hurts" to "omg I'm going to die something is wrong make it stop!" Which is what sent me to the hospital.

2) There's a big difference between natural pain when you're in a supportive environment and pain that is caused by someone doing something to you. I'd much rather go through 40 hours of natural labor than, say, ever ever ever wear a fetal monitor. Those things HURT. Yes, it's just a band around the belly but by the time I got to the hospital and they strapped them on they actually caused me significant amounts of pain. Part of why I'm homebirthing this time is so those things do not ever touch me. Ever. ::shudder::

3) Labor (like breastfeeding) is a total mind game. Don't focus on how long you have to go, but stay in the moment. Also the moment I decided I wanted the epidural, I couldn't handle the contractions anymore. It was like I all of a sudden just checked out. As I never got the epidural (and was pretty much refused all medical care before I signed the c-section papers) I got to spend 6 hours in the hospital screaming for help while the nurses ignored me. I did not deal well. I now know that I would have been better off staying home those 6 hours and showing up at the hospital first thing.

4) All hospitals have to admit laboring women and deliver their babies. They are not legally obligated to provide any other care, including pain relief. Also, many hospitals don't staff anesthesiologists overnight. I learned this the hard way.

My experience as a hospital transfer taught me that the last place I ever want to birth is the hospital. Yes, my transfer was necessary, and I didn't get as much grief as a lot of my friends, but it was a miserable experience and I can no longer believe that a hospital will help a laboring woman in any way. I thought they'd help me, and they didn't. I sat in a room alone with my husband until the c-section. Never again.

Sorry, I'm still clearly processing some of the issues from my daughter's birth.

[flavorfull1]

• Have you had (or planned) a homebirth before?

 Yes! DS was a homebirth and I am so glad I got the chance to have one.  I would have been a c-section in the hospital because DS was asynclitic and I pushed for 5 hours.  He came out eventually :)

• If yes, are you seeing the same midwife as before?

No, sadly we have moved from NC to NY.  I will have an appointment to meet a midwife I think will be great in September, but I do miss my awesome midwife in NC!

• If you've had a homebirth before, what was your favorite thing that you had, and what did you wish that you would have had?

 Favorite thing: just being able to do whatever I wanted where ever I wanted. I dilated completely in less than 3 hours and I really have no idea when I would have gone to get in a car.  I don't really wish I had anything else except maybe a faster pushing stage, lol.  I had all of these plans for things to do in early labor, food for everyone to eat, food for me to eat but none of that even matter because of how fast everything went. It was intense but I did think to myself right afterward "hmm that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be"  maybe that was the whole natural drugs thing?

• If you haven't had a homebirth before, what are you most looking forward to?

• Do you have any fears that you feel you need to work through?

 The whole long phase of pushing thing but I feel pretty good about it now. DS had a nuchal hand, cord around his body and neck, and was asynclitic which all seemed to hang him up.

And of course any and all other homebirth chatter!

This will be our second homebirth in an apartment.  I had always dreamed that I would be in my own home and not have to worry about neighbors.  I honestly didn't even think about my neighbors with DS's birth and they said they couldn't hear anything.  We live in NY now and walls are definitely more thin, I am just hoping for nice neighbors.  We are moving in December so hopefully we will find the perfect place and people :)

[zuzusplace]

Last homebirth we lived in the country. This time we're in townhouses ("student housing") so I'm a little nervous about the close proximity of people.  It's good to hear no one thought anything of it with you ;)

[dealic]

Originally Posted by flavorfull1 

This will be our second homebirth in an apartment.  I had always dreamed that I would be in my own home and not have to worry about neighbors.  I honestly didn't even think about my neighbors with DS's birth and they said they couldn't hear anything.  We live in NY now and walls are definitely more thin, I am just hoping for nice neighbors.  We are moving in December so hopefully we will find the perfect place and people :)

This is very reassuring to me, because one of my worries is delivering in an apartment. I know its possible, but I worried about disturbing neighbours.