I am planning a homebirth, for the third time, and I'm really counting on the third time being a charm.
DS1 was a planned homebirth with midwives in Calgary, Alberta. My water broke at 35 weeks and I went 4 1/2 days before we ended up in a cesarean. Turns out he was so caught up in the cord that he couldn't descend. With the support of wonderful midwives, and after trying every possible thing for the 4 1/2 days, I have regrets that it turned out in a cesarean, but know that it was necessary and very grateful that the procedure was there.
DS2 was a planned "hotel"birth with midwives in Windsor, Ontario. I was living in Michigan and couldn't afford insurance, so we drove to Ontario where I could get healthcare. While my midwife was awesome for so much, as soon as I said I felt like I was going to die, she suggested going to the hospital. I hadn't ever been that far in labour before, so I felt something must be really bad if she suggested we go. We got to the hospital where I laboured naturally until 10 cm and pushing, but I had gone 2 full days in labour by that point, and was completely exhausted so I couldn't push him out. I got an epidural and rested for a while, then pushed for 3 hours. At that point the MW had to call in an OB for a consult, who hearing that I had been in labour for 2 days, had been pushing for 3 hours and was a previous cesarean said that we needed to head directly into another cesarean. My MW didn't say anything, so I looked right at the OB and said, "Absolutely not! This baby is coming out one way, and one way only!" So, we wheeled into the OR for a forcept delivery. I pushed and the OB pulled and after 2 episiotomies and three pushes he was out. It was terrible, and two years later, thousands of dollars at a physiotherapist, my pelvic floor is still ruined. I really felt that with a little more support from my MW things would have been just fine. I needed a "Jenny, this is labour. It may be painful. It may suck. But, you can do it, so let's get to it!" (You can read my emotional rendition of the story here, if you want.)
This baby has been conceived back in Calgary where I will use the midwife I had with my first baby, and I can't wait. I've been a doula at homebirths that she has attended and I am so excited.
For this homebirth I am going to buy one of the really fancy birth tubs. I've still got the fishy pool from the last two, which will work just fine, but I need to spoil myself. I am also going to have anyone I feel I need there. Because of the crossing the international boarder thing with my last birth, I didn't have the people around that I loved and needed, and this time I'm going to have everyone there, even if they all just sit downstairs and watch a movie, I want them near if I need them. I am also hiring a birth photographer. My DS thinks this is a silly expense, but I need pictures of the birth, of the first moments of me seeing the baby, of the first moments with my sons and the baby. I barely got any pictures with the other two, and I need it with this one.
I'm not scared with this one. I've gone through an incredible journey since DS two was born (I've become a doula since then and witnessed many beautiful births) and am not afraid of it at all. I am not going to skimp on anything I think I might need, and I'm not going to feel bad about any of it.
It's wonderful to see other homebirth mamas out there and have the support of others going through the same thing I am!