Originally Posted by AbbieB
My son has Ds too, he will be 4 next month.
All I can say is to be kind to yourself, allow your self to process your feelings, and love your beautiful baby. The hurt, the worry, the tears will lesson and fade. Skin to skin contact can help that process along.
Finding out my son had Ds right after birth, when in that just-gave-birth haze, was one of the most excruciatingly painful things that has ever happened to me. On the flip side, my son has given me some of the most brilliantly joyful moments of my life. I can't imagine how my life would be without him, certainly not as rich and joyful.
I knew right away when I met him. I was good at first, that first hour or so we were in the tub, laying out in the sun waiting for the placenta etc. Then I gave him to DH to hold while I got up to the bathroom and shower and it was while DH was holding him that DS2 started having the respiratory problems that earned him a life flight and 12 days in the NICU. Once he started doing that and we called the ambulance to take us to the hospital, I didn't even want to hold him. It was strange. I was crying and concerned and overwhelmed but also felt very distant like he wasn't mine almost. I felt that way for a few days, cried off and on all day long for at least the first 2. I knew that it was just who he was going to be, but since it was a complete surprise and not, obviously, what we were expecting, I just felt really odd about him but at the same time was with him 24/7 and as involved as I could have been. I'm still having thoughts and feelings that I think I might not have toward him if he were typical, but I'm assuming that it's just part of the process. I started reading the Kelle Hampton blog and I felt just like she said in her birth story. I felt in a daze yet everyone else was instantly in love with him and ready to learn right along side him. Maybe because it wasn't their dream that just took a sudden right turn. I'm lucky to have friends and family that are so loving and involved. I am anticipating that he will make our lives, too, more rich and joyful, I just need to let it happen. Everything is going well so far really. I'm so so grateful that besides his initial respiratory distress he is healthy and thriving. He has no heart defects, both newborn screens were negative for thyroid problems, and everyone remarks how strong he is, even without knowing his diagnosis. He might have been a David instead of a Dean but David seemed like a name for someone who eats their peas and does what their mama says. Dean seems like the kid who might feed his peas to the dog and nod. He gained over a pound in the past week (piglet+mamas Eagle brand milk!) and seems to be thriving. And big brother just loves him. I have so much to be grateful for, we got what we wanted- a healthy baby who we love so much we gave a little extra something.