So our baby is 4mo and we really need to make a will, but I'm not really sure how to go about it.
Should we get a lawyer or can we just do it ourselves and then get it notarized? We used a lawyer for our donor agreement--she charged a lot and I don't think she really understood our situation even though she specialized in lgbt family issues. Then we ended up re-doing the agreement for me to get pregnant instead of my partner, and we changed a bunch of stuff around on it and just got it notarized.
Maybe we could just get a lawyer that doesn't focus of lgbt? But then they might not understand either. I really would just rater do it ourselves, but is that even legal?
We are legally married in our state and both of our names are one her birth certificate, the main issue is that if we died we want custody to go to our sperm donor--he's our good friend and has a big part in our daughter's life anyway. Our lawyer seemed to think that was a horrible idea--she couldn't seem to wrap her head around it and thought that our donor could use that to try to get custody of our baby now if he wanted. I don't think he would do that anyway, but is there any basis to what she said?
My second question is, do we need to do a second patent adoption? We are both parents legally, but what if we went on vacation to another, more conservative state? Could the 2nd parent adoption keep us from having issues or is it unnecessary?
Thoughts? Advice? Thanks!