Why do you school?

[Dar]

We were talking about this on the homeschooling board, and I was wondering what the view was like from this end. I don't think schoolers on these boards are necessarily representative of most schoolers, just like I don't think homeschoolers here are necessarily representative of most homeschoolers... but I'd still like to know, to try to understand more...

Dar

[muse]

Ds isn't in school yet, but we will choose school (p/t waldorf for kindergarten and public school from 6 yrs) when it comes to it. I couldn't answer in any one category you gave since they overlap for us.

1) We can't afford to not work and don't want to give up our careers for more than these early few yrs.

2) Neither of us would enjoy schooling our son or do it particularly well.

3) I believe children need a certain amount of independence from their parents, especially as teenagers.

4) I want my son to meet and learn from all kinds of people, adults and children, that we may not normally cross paths with and to have a variety of social interactions that are not guided by me.

5) I think the student-teacher relationship can be a very special and irreplaceable one if it's done well.

6) I do believe in the public school system and want to support that, especially for the sake of families that do not have the luxury of choice.

** None of this is a judgement against home/unschoolers, just what we feel is right for our family **

[Elphaba]

I'm voting prematurely as well! We're moving overseas in a little while, and this Fall we will start our daughter in a DoD preschool 3 days a week.
I am a fervent supporter of home and unschooling, but I feel like I can't offer that to my child. My depression coupled with my husband's long and frequent absences adds up to a psycho mom with no resources, and I don't want dd to end up as stressed and anxious a child as I was (and still am) because she lives in fear of her mother's emotional outbursts and mood swings.
I talked about it with her and she was very excited to go to school and see other kids, and even told me that she didn't want to go every day but instead 3 days a week. I think she'll do great and I will feel better not having to be on-duty 24-7.
However, when she gets to be actual school age, we'll re-evaluate based on where we are living and what's available and what she needs and wants to do.

[daylily]

I voted "other." Actually, next year, I'll have two children in public school and two children who will be homeschooled.

Why am I keeping two of my kids in public school? Ds (age 11, sixth grade) is profoundly gifted and our public schools offer a good gifted and talented program. He's allowed to take each of his classes at a level appropriate for his intellectual ability, so I feel he's challenged in most of his classes (science and history are a bit weak), and he has some excellent teachers. I decided to supplement his and dd's history by teaching them at home, over Spring break using the Well Trained Mind's history curriculum. Ds learns at such a fast pace that I can hardly keep up with him. He did a month's worth of ancient history in 4 days, including writing three papers--one on ancient Egyptians, one on prehistoric Europe and one on Minoans and Mycaeneans--all at his own choice. He has an *intense* desire to learn. Teaching him at home, full-time would be exhausting.

Also, dd (age 10, fifth grade) is gifted in the arts and our public schools offer a superb program for children with her gifts. I could not possibly afford to provide the art lessons that she gets for free, and her art is the driving force in her life. To take her away from that would be cruel.

Ds and dd both enjoy an excellent music program and both have a natural aptitude for music. I can't afford to give them private music lessons and both of them enjoy being a part of the school orchestra.

Finally, while I don't feel that kids need to go to school for "socialization," both my children, ds in particular, have met some wonderful children at their school.

[summerdgo]

I voted other because I was planning on homeschooling, but became a single parent just as my oldest was of age to start kindergarden. I needed to work and relied on public assistance for childcare. They would not cover non-school childcare for a school age child, so I felt that I had no choice at that time. He is in 4th grade now and was feeling very unmotivated to keep up with the unstimulating busy work last semster. We (he and I) had decided to homeschool this semster, but when his teacher got wind of it she created some new groups and activities for him and some of his classmates that allow them much more freedom and interesting curriculum.

When my next son was old enough for school, I was a SAHM and was very seriously considering homeschooling him, but his brother, step-brother, and step-sister were all in school and he really wanted to go. He would have felt it was a punishment not to be able to go too. He had started K when he was barely 5 (Sept. 9 birthday) and it did not work out; the school basically kicked him out after two months. I am really conflicted about his public education, but for now it is the best choice for him.

My stepkids live with us almost full time, but there are still some custody issues and homeschooling would be a big one, so it is not really an option for them.

I am still open to the possibility of homeschool for my youngest who is only 7mo right now, but we will see what the future holds.

[EFmom]

Pretty much all the reasons Muse gave.

I have zero interest in homeschooling, although I've read a lot about it and know a few people who do. I could not do nearly as good a job educating my kids as our public school does, and the notion of unschooling is 100% not what I want for my kids. To each his own though.

We do spend a lot of time educating our children, but I think that's what all good parents do. We read together all the time, and we go to the library to research things dd is interested in. We also reinforce what is taught in school.

We live in an excellent school district. We bought our house specifically for that reason, even though we could have gotten a much nicer house in a different district.

[love2all]

I voted other. My reason is that I am an unschooler. I am devoted to allow my children to follow their own design and interests- until my intervention is needed because their choise is becoming detrimental for them.
My dd goes to a charter school and LOVES it. DS stays home with me and is more in the traditional unschoolers mode.

[sugarmoon]

Well, I had to go over to the homeschooling board to check out the conversation over there that led you to posting this, Dar, but now that I've done that, I can answer: :LOL

I checked everything except for the one about everyone else sends their kid to school... But I have 2 kids (11 yo foster son, and 20 mos old ds) and different reasons apply to each of them.

For dfs:

I go nuts trying to explain things to him. He has some bizzare learning disabilities going on, which, when combined with his attachment issues (which are more present with me, who he has to learn to accept and love as mom, than with a teacher who is just a teacher), make for very unpleasant times for both of us. He freezes, I get frustrated, he refuses to ask questions, answer questions, ask for help, accept help, etc. etc. Its ugly.

He and I do do better when we're not together all the time. Again, this is due to his hx and behavioral stuff. I get bitchy with him if I'm around him 1:1 all the time. He also is used to and thrives in very active environments. Home with mom and a toddler doesn't cut it.

he does need the social group practice, having lived in a residental home with other kids w/ severe behavior disorders. He really needed some full immersion with typical kids, in order to adjust his reality of how kids behave and how adults respond.

(I'm trying to remember the poll options here, so I can explain for each of them, but I'm failing..)

Well, for ds, who at this point we plan to send to school (although, I do think it is foolish for anyone, myself incl. of course, to "know" what type of education will be right for their child when said child is still as young as mine...) mainly b/c we do feel strongly about supporting the public school by sending our children their, and then being active involved parents.

I do have one friend who has been volunteering at the public school w/ her son since he was 3 ish. Her dh is a public school principal in another town. They have chosen to send their ds to waldorf for K, but she still will devote lots of time to the public school. I really admire that. Otherwise, I see that in my rural community, our school is really suffering b/c of parents choosing private schools (driving their kids a min. of 1 hr round trip, some up to 2-3 hrs each day -- why not spend that time at the public school, improving things for all kids in our community??

Also, just a side note -- in the thread on the homeschooling board, someone made the comment about handing their kid over to a complete stranger for K. Well, in my case, and in my ideal world, where you are *involved* with the school, its not a complete stranger. One of the K teachers is a friend of mine, and the other I know well enough from time spent at the school to feel very comfortable with.

Oh, and the other reason I send dfs to school is that foster kids have to go to school. I wouldn't be allowed to hs him even if I wanted to.

Okay. Sorry for the mini rant. I really don't have anything against hs'ers or unsch'ers. Like I said, it may turn out to be what is right for my ds, and then I'll have a lot of crow to eat, cause I spew this rant on a regular basis.:

edited to fix a spelling mistake that I now can't find! somewhere there is a their that should be there (or maybe it was they're, now I can't remember, but really, I do know the difference!!)

[muse]

Originally posted by gus'smama
Otherwise, I see that in my rural community, our school is really suffering b/c of parents choosing private schools (driving their kids a min. of 1 hr round trip, some up to 2-3 hrs each day -- why not spend that time at the public school, improving things for all kids in our community??

Yeah, this was exactly the case when we lived in Berkeley and Oakland, and now I find it's happening at the high school level in this English city we moved to (where private school used to be a big NO-NO to most non-aristocratic families). It's such a vicious circle and definitely working or volunteering at the schools is an excellent suggestion.

[lauren]

Child's temperament-- he learns sooo much better from people outside the family. Once he was in school, it seemed like things were going well, so my dd started there as well.

We take it one year at a time.

[Linda in OZ]

I voted other, I would like to keep the boys at home, but they want to go to school. They are both aware that if they aren't liking school they can come home. We were following a natural learning approach and DS8 has been at the public school for15 months and wants to stay, DS5 started kindy this year and is having fun. I miss them heaps, and do have some issues with mainstream education, but they are where they want to be, so I do what I can to support that.