Concerned How my Son sees me

[RachaelH]

A couple of weeks ago when using my sons computer I found a story he had written and forgotten to close down.

Basically the story featured myself and him on a car journey together. At some point we pick up a hitch-hiker who turns out to be a deranged madman. In the story the bad guy attacks me, knocks me out with chloroform and kidnaps me; meaning my son has to rescue me, which he does.

Now, it seems harmless and might be seen as escapist fun but in the story I'm potrayed as weak - fainting, being in danger, getting knocked out a few times, tied up etc - and incapable taking care of myself.

So, should I be concerned that my son sees me in such a negative light? Or am I overthinking the whole thing? Maybe it brusied my ego, (as silly as that may sound) I'm a single parent, run my own company but my son sees me as helpless.

[Storm Bride]

I don't read that as being about you at all. I think it's about your son visualizing himself as the hero. You're probably still the most important person in his life - certainly one of them, at the very least! - so you're going to be the person he rescues. I wouldn't think he sees you as helpless.

I can remember writing a story in which my bff, my sister and I basically saved the entire civilization of North America, after an alien invasion. My parents were either killed or captured (cant remember which - this was almost 30 years ago) on the first page. I thought my dad was, at least physically, pretty close to Super-Man (he was a furniture mover, and probably the strongest man I've ever met). I though - and still think - that my mom is one of the toughest people I've ever known. But, if they were around, being tough and strong and all that, then...what was I going to do??

[mtiger]

I think you're overthinking, and agree with StormBride's assessment.

However, I continue to hope that my son never composes a piece about our relationship. LOL He wrote one about his & his Dad's, which I didn't know about until I heard it premiered... and it wasn't pleasant. I'd home he thinks better of me, but.... I don't think I wanna know. I did ask him to at least give me a heads up if he does so, so I can prepare myself.

[Linda on the move]

I'm with Stormbride. It's normal in children/teen fiction to get rid of the parents in some way (because otherwise, the kids can't do anything interesting). It's also normal for the heros of the story to save the day in some way.

Look at Narnia, for example. The kids have to be sent away from their parents because of the war, and then they have to save an entire world from a witch. Harry Potter's parents are murdered, and then he has to save an entire world from Voldemort.   I could go on and on.

It's just how fiction for this age is written.

And we parents must be gotten out of the way, because we would never let our kids do something so dangerous as save the world. We'd send them to their rooms if they tried!

Anyway, your son combined the two. He got you out of the way and saved someone. It's more about his need to be powerful, strong, safe, and a protector than about seeing you a certain way. He wants to be needed. He wants to be a man.