If someone started a debate on a non debate board....

[Lisa1970]

How do you handle it? It bothers me when on a perfectly nice support board for something, and then someone starts in some degrading remarks about people who do not vaccinate. They always say the same things. Our doctors love us. Our doctors only want the best for us. No for-profit company is ever going to try to sell us a product that could hurt us (think tobacco companies, pharmaceutical companies have spent even more than them in congress), the disease has to be worse than the shots, there is no mercury in the shots (they can look at the ingredient lists and see mercury is just one of many chemicals you find in shots), there are no vaccinations made from aborted babies, etc etc etc. I am tired of it! Then they claim those who don't vaccinate are playing Russian Roulette with their children. But I feel the opposite. I think those who vaccinate their infants (I don't really take issue with older kids as much, but I think giving your little girl guardisil is awful and should be illegal unless she knows exactly what it is for and personally consents) are the ones playing Russian Roulette. 

I hate it when I am on a perfectly nice board and feel attacked like that. I feel like if I don't respond, then I am not defending myself. I feel like so many people are clueless. I used to be clueless myself. I would sit at places like Le Leche League and listen to women talk about how they refuse to vaccinate and think they were nuts and their children would get so sick and die and so on. Meanwhile, my own baby was running high fevers every time he had the shots. He was getting sicker and sicker and even turning blue at times. He stopped being able to digest food and developed immune problems. But I actually thought THEY were the ones who were wrong. I never questioned my child being given the Hep B shot at birth or any of the other shots along the way. The first time I questioned anything was when they brought out the Chicken Pox shot when that child was 2 or 3 yrs old (it came on the market then). Or a few years later when they started the Hep A shot. I asked...but just last year, Hep A was an acute illness, not a big deal. They told me, very coldly, things have changed and it is no longer a no big deal. We got none of the above. But when I was really put over the edge to research was when Governor Perry signed in an emergency law requiring the HPV shot for all 11 yr old girls!?!?! Hello! That can only be gotten through intercourse! Shouldn't it be up to the girl to decide about her own sexual health? And if the chicken pox shot can cause the chicken pox, then couldn't the HPV shot cause HPV? And shouldn't a girl who is having intercourse also get birth control and make sure she is using a condom? And be getting regular pap smears? Fortunately, congress quickly shot down that emergency order, overturning it. But that set me off to research and end up where I am today. 

Anyway, when someone starts attacking people who don't vaccinate...they are not even just debating, they are attacking....what do you do? I find it quite frustrating. I am unsure how to handle it. But I don't like to just sit and be quiet as if their attacks are ok. 

BTW..it is not happening here at Mothering. Mothering is very good at making sure debates stay where they belong.

[Marnica]

Well, if I was on a support board for non-vaccinating families and somebody was there bashing the members for not vaccinating, I would point out that they are unwelcome and clearly in the wrong place.

I know here at mothering, commenst like that would not be tolerated on the non-vax board and would likely be removed. Can you complain and have them removed where you are talking about?

On a personal level, I don't feel the need to engage with provax zealots. Nothing I say will make them change their mind anyway and I have so many more important things to do than waste my time and breath on those types. I'm not interested in debating my point of view with someone who is 100% close minded on the subject.  I've come to where I am after many years of research and soul searching. If someone is interested in my point of view and how I got here Id be willing to share if they asked, but most of the types of people you describe are not interested in your point of view, they are interested in bashing you for making choices they don't agree with. Why would you want to engage with someone like that?

[kathymuggle]

I do not frequent many other sites.  

On MDC: sometimes I flag, and sometimes I quote the user agreement at them.    That often does it.

I will occasionally tell people not to feed the trolls - but that can get you in trouble for calling someone a troll, lol.

I do occasionally get into it with people who probably are just pot stirring, but I am learning  to let it go.  At the most, I will reply with one or two sentences - it is not worth my time to write big responses to people who are just looking to stir the pot.

I do think there can be grey zones - I know some vaxxers occasionally post here, but as long as they do it respectfully I am Ok with it.  They come across as they wish discussion, but are not personally at war with non-vaxxers.  OTOH, there are posters who drive me insane with their dismissive tunnel vision one line statements.

To sum up:  

I am am tolerant (and occasionally listen to!) posters who disagree with me but seem to have good research skills and are respectful to non-vaxxers.

I have no tolerance on support boards to:

People who are here to stir the pot.

People who are so rabidly anit-vax that they cannot discuss things in a respectful manner.   

[Chloebelle]

I used to belong to another parenting/pregnancy site, and there were many debates. I used to debate with people, but not anymore. I can't be bothered. Total waste of time and energy. I don't even read it anymore, because it frustrates me how brainwashed some people are. 

I'm fairly new around here, but I notice a lot of people lurk here (thread views vs. posts), and every so often, it seems someone will create an account just to add their two cents and try to straighten us crazy non-vaxers out  I imagine we must confuse the heck out of the masses who just blindly accept that vaccines are an essential part of life. I can't blame them really, but I am SO thankful that I had access to the information I did before having kids, and for forums like this with like-minded people who understand and appreciate the prejudice we as non-vaxers face in this world.

Edited by Chloebelle - 8/5/11 at 7:38pm

[peainthepod]

I usually ignore it. If the person is rude and abrasive enough, I'll cite information from the sources they would be most likely to trust, like the CDC Pink Book and the vaccine inserts themselves. But mostly I don't bother. Life is way too short to waste time arguing with zealots on the internet. I feel deeply sorry for people who don't bother to do their own research (and really really really sorry for their children) but it's their choice to live that way and frankly, someone so incurious about their own child's healthcare probably isn't going to change their mind because of pesky and inconvenient facts they read on a message board.

[Emmeline II]

"I've come to where I am after many years of research and soul searching. I am not interested in a debate, but if someone is interested in my point of view and how I got here I'd be willing to share if they asked in a pm, but I think this is off-topic on a support board for ______________________."

I altered what Marnica said to a little snippet for you.