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An "August" Display of Bajingo Juice - TTC #1 in our 30's - Page 5

post #81 of 147
Thread Starter 

Anduluza, I usually get EWCM for 8 or 9 days and ovulate on day 7 of the EWCM.  Much luck to you.


I have everything ready for tomorrow so I am stoked!

post #82 of 147

TickleToes - I'm so glad you had a good OB appointment!  The doc sounds really positive and helpful, all very important when trying to put a nervous TTC-er at ease.  Good luck with the CD 21 test!  


And I second TickleToes comments about Taxi and Boots... and Caly, too, haven't seen her around much this month either.  We miss you guys!  blowkiss.gif


Bel - Have fun on vacation!  So good to see you!


AmyGirl - A nurse practitioner that I see swears by reflexology for fertility issues, and actually referred me to a reflexologist in town that specializes in fertility and prenatal reflexology.  I went to her once for a consult, and loved the visit (so relaxing), but couldn't convince DH that it would be worth the money to keep going.  So your friend might be right about the foot massage, especially if you can find someone specialized in the field.  Good luck!  

post #83 of 147

Today was unexpectedly hard. The teachers had gathered for a closing exercise. The woman who lead it began by talking about how she has been thinking a lot about the four pregnancies on staff (actually three now - the first baby was born last week) and how exciting it is and how she feels as if we are all expecting right now.... and on and on and on.


My heart just sunk. I've been okay dealing with the other four pregnancies up to this point, but today, I just couldn't take it. August should have been my birth month too... if my first pregnancy had worked out. If my last pregnancy had worked out, I'd be announcing it to the staff about now. Instead, I'm faced with the collective mass of four babies at once.


I'm truly happy for all of them. And I am still really grieving for myself. I don't know how I'm going to get through this next month gracefully. I feel guilty when I feel sad... I feel like I have to hide my grief so that I don't spoil everyone else's joy. I also don't want to make well intentioned people feel bad... or cause people to tiptoe around me. But at the same time, I don't know how many more of these situations I can take.


I managed to make it through the "expecting" speech. But the activity that followed that required us to think of something happy or something that energized us about our summer and to draw a picture of it to serve as a reminder/re-energizer throughout the school year. But I couldn't think of anything other than my loss this summer. I tried, and just couldn't pull myself out of it and the harder I tried the deeper I sunk. I eventually had to walk out and find a quiet place in the garden, where I just bawled. I've been weepy ever since. mecry.gif

post #84 of 147
Thread Starter 

I am so sorry TickleToes.  I am glad you found a place to let  your emotions free.  I hope you will be able to find someone supportive on your staff to turn to when weepy moments like this come.  Anniversaries are the hardest, I found, after I lost my father unexpectedly in 2007.  I gave myself permission to cry when I needed to and I still do from time to time, especially as I think about TTC and how my children won't meet their grandfather or great-grandparents.


Thank you for sharing your story.

post #85 of 147

welcome all newbies! flowersforyou.gif

there are at least four of you....hope you find the support you need here.  I have!


lilac, i also totally got AF on first day of school.  suckage!


TT, we had about four babies come in ONE WEEK a few weeks ago.  It is hard.  and my peer in Kindergarten teaching is about 5 months along.  i really like what the doc said.  totally the way to go.  good info.  good attitude!


i miss boots and taxi too. and caly and hykue.


bel, good to see you!


re opks:  if you're having trouble getting positives, i think you should try clearblue digitals with the smiley faces. we call them gsb-golden shower boyfriend.  he smiles at you and it makes you so freakin cheerful! even though we've been ttc for an interminable length of time (TWO YEARS), it still makes me happy when i see him.  saw him today, so we're hopeful even though it's been so long.

post #86 of 147

oh! and regarding signature line and everything...i'm sorry...who asked?  once you hit like a month plus 50 posts or something, you're no longer a new member.   but as far as signatures....you go to your own profile and edit one.  it's kinda hard to see where the link is but it's there.  play around with your profile.

post #87 of 147

I feel for you, TT, I'm sure if I was in your situation I would be a blubbering mess. I've never been pregnant or had a loss and it still was really upsetting this year when I learned in the space of a few months that both of my close friends got pregnant in the time we've been ttc. I always hoped we'd be pregnant together (even though we all live on opposite sides of the country it would have been nice to share that experience with them). One is due in October, I believe, and the other in December (with #2).


I have a brief update on my weird cycle this month. I'm now at 17 dpo according to FF and still no AF. I tested on 14dpo and 15dpo with a cheap strip test and it was BFN but a faint line appeared after the 10-minute window so I assume that was an evap.


I don't feel particularly pregnant, but I also don't feel like AF is coming. My temps are still up and my boobs are full and heavy and seem to be getting slightly fuller each day. I will test again tomorrow with FMU, using a First Response Early Result because I've heard these are more sensitive.


It's so frustrating to not know what's going on!  I usually have a very regular 27 day cycle with a 11 or 12 day luteal phase. This time I ovulated early and my LP is 17 days and counting even though I'm only on CD 30. Either I am pregnant and the tests are false negatives praying.gif, OR I am having a chemical pregnancy greensad.gif  OR my period is delayed and progesterone levels are still high for some other reason  shrug.gif.  I've read that plenty of women get BFN before BFP even if they didn't test super early the first time, and I spent hours looking in FF chart gallery at people who had late BFP with a previous BFN, so I know it's possible. It looks like most tested positive on 17 or 18 dpo so I will wait until 18 dpo just to make sure.


Knowing myself, if it turns out that I'm not pregnant then I will worry about what caused all of this - and if it turns out that I am I will worry why it took so long to get a BFP and whether this means I am more likely to miscarry. Not the most fun way to start off being pregnant! 

It's all starting to drive me crazy - last night I woke up from crazy dreams about testing and charting and in my dream I did a test which looked positive immediately and then turned negative shortly after. I'd like to interpret that as my subconscious telling me that I am indeed pregnant and my rational mind coming in after and doubting it but maybe it's the other way around? 


This whole saga (well it's only been a few days but it feels like a saga!) is really making it difficult to concentrate on finishing my PhD thesis - thankfully I just got a 2-week extension so the lack of progress in the past few days isn't that bad...



post #88 of 147
Thread Starter 

Chapluqa, I hope the next few days give some answers to you.  Weirdness is never fun.  I kept thinking I was pregnant this last month because I didn't have the painful breasts, but then I wasn't.


I don't know who wrote about it, but the B-complex did increase my luteal phase by one day to 13 days.


Onto more fun at work this week.

post #89 of 147

I am so sorry about such a stressful exercise at work. Tickletoes. hug2.gif I hope that sharing your feelings here helped and that you were able to have a calm and peaceful weekend. 


Wow, chapluqa, I saw your other thread and hoped you'd be sharing that you got a bfp. I still hope you are able to in the am. I can totally relate to the worrying that you mentioned if it goes either way. My job involves a lot of research, so I can understand your consideration of multiple possibilities. That's great that you have some extra time to work on the thesis.


AFM, I finally got a +opk on Friday! We've been celebrating it with a busy weekend of ttc. I had been crampy and bloaty yesterday and last night had a really intense, short cramp, so it could have been it! Since we were uncertain if I was ovulating before this, it is definitely a very good sign. I'll have tests on Thurs to see/confirm what's going on. Thanks for sharing your o signs and experience, lilacvioletiris. I was thinking about going back on the b-complex I was taking before I started ttc, but then I thought that I'd been using it when I had all the consistently weird midcycle bleeding. So I'm unsure.


Catheleni Yay for yout +opk, as well. We must be cycle buddies! I used the unmistakable Yes/No digital from First Response (you test once a day and it tracks your levels from day to day), supplemented with the dollar tree tests. Although the dt opks were getting darker, the clear + from the FR made me so happy. I felt as though it was taunting me all those days I got no-, though.


Hope that everyone's week gets off to a great start!

post #90 of 147

Chapluqa - Your chart is looking really pretty! Definitely test again with a more sensitive test. If I had a chart like that, I'd be trying not to climb the walls. I'm crossing all of my fingers for you and hoping that your test gives you a clear BFP.


Thanks for the support, ladies. It is good to have one place where I can let it all out.

post #91 of 147

Thanks Catheleni (it was me asking about the signature line).  I better get to posting more.  


Other teachers- school year starts for me tomorrow.  I think I am prepared.


Trying to be patient; just beyond midway through the 2ww.  


post #92 of 147

Well, I was planning to wait until tomorrow to test with FRER but I just couldn't hold out any longer after feeling very pregnant all day today (crampy, bigger and heavier boobs than before and really hungry).


This is what I got:


BFP 17 dpo.jpg



joy.gif  joy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gif


Finally, at 17dpo, my first BFP -YAY!!


I don't know if it was the tons of grapefruit juice, the robitussin, the b-complex or whether it was just our time but I did notice that I had EWCM for the first time this cycle and also ovulated a bit earlier, so something must have done something to help.

Thank you everyone for your support during this journey, it seems this thread is on a roll lately, I'm sending you all lots and lots of dust.gif






post #93 of 147
Thread Starter 

Yeah!  Chapluqa! Sticky baby dust to you!  That is so exciting!  I am glad the symptoms all added up to a BFP for you!

post #94 of 147

Congrats Chap!!!  That's a super dark BFP - I'm betting you could have gotten a BFP earlier than 17dpo with a FRER with it being that dark now.  Yay!!!!!  Sticky vibes to you!  joy.gifgoodvibes.gifjoy.gif

post #95 of 147

joy.gifWooohooo! jumpers.gif


A very pretty chart, indeed - and even prettier test! I'm so happy for you!

post #96 of 147


CA Country Girl - Man I have so many questions for you about your students! I'm TAing MBA students this Summer (I'm a grad student) and their writing is generally okay, but some is absolutely unreadable. They literally forget that sentences need verbs and/or punctuation. :( I am suddenly struck with worry for the next generations. I fear that these students have gone through undergrad without true, rigorous writing requirements. They can't write arguments!


Hi TT!  I'll vote for taking a break from the charting. You don't have to decide to stop forever, but I'm in the camp that says taking a break helps change things up and allows some emotional and mental pathways to change for a bit. 


Hi Cathe! You mentioned serious interventions…is that something you're looking into next, or is there a plan in place to follow? <3


I forget who asked by I had success with my Wondfo tests for OPKs and PGs from Amazon. Yay free shipping with amazon prime for students. (I think there's free Prime for teachers too?) I confirmed that the non-positive OPKs were actually positive, and I just recorded the darkest one as the "positive". I decided that I could leave it at that to save the money. I *almost* bought GSB though (clearblue easy digital OPK).


Wow what an explosion with this thread. There must be something telling 30-somethings that end-of-summer is the time to join up! Welcome to all. :)


YAY CHAP!!!  Congratulations!  carrot.gif Come join me in the April DDC (I'm straddling March/April)!

post #97 of 147




I'm so happy for you, Chapluqa! What a great way to start the week energy.gif

post #98 of 147


Edited by birdie.lee - 5/9/13 at 4:45am
post #99 of 147

Yay Chapluqa!!  joy.gifthat is such a reward for such a stressful few days!  Congratulations!


TT that does sound like a very crappy situation.  I wonder how many times people say things like that with perfect innocence having no idea who their words might be hurting! 


AFM:  4 DPO now.  I O'd on CD 16 now which was a pretty good improvement from my past two cycles.  So I guess that means the Vitex and/or B-50 complex is doing it's magic.  We had pretty good timing even though we technically weren't TRYING this mo, but did well enough that there is definitely a realistic possibility.  I'll probably wait till next week before I start obsessing over symptoms!

post #100 of 147

Congrats Chap!!!!! Soooooooo exciting!!!


Gator, I'm right there with you...5DPO, and I'm dying! Having total psychosomatic symptoms and obsessing. Just got the cheapie tests in the mail, and I can hardly wait...though I know I need to hold out for as long as possible. 


Best of luck to you all, have a wonderful week!


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