New stuff with my one and only, looking for ideas and encouragment

[VTmamadownsouth]

DS is 3.5, and since he's the only one I've got, I have no idea if he new behaviors are typical, or what to do with/about them whether they are or not.

It's hard to explain what he's doing, but I do know it's not "bad" per se.  If I just say he's completely "bonkers", will anyone know what I mean?  Cause that's the best way to describe it.  His energy level seems to have shot up over night, and it mostly seems to manifest as physical interactions with the people around him.  For example, he runs up and bashes into me, banging his head into whatever body part of mine is at that level at the time.  When I wince in pain he's very apologetic and nurturing to me, and when I say he needs to be more gentle with me he says ok.  But (and I know this is totally normal) he seems to forget and will do it again within 10 minutes.  Other times he'll sort of want to climb all over me, tackling my head, hanging off my neck, squeeze my cheeks really hard etc.  I think I could classify it all under "rough affection".

With DH it's a different story.  He will wack, tug, grab and climb on him more aggressively.  He'll growl, squeal, and shout as he does this.  My husband's not really the rough-tumbling type, so it's not that he's modeling this kind of play (although I do think he tolerates it more, and will play along more than I will).  Even when he's not trying to wrestle with DH, DS will literally run from one side of the room to the other, throwing his whole body into the wall/door/cupboard on either side.  If he gets really wound up, he'll throw things or bang things repeatedly.  He has a really hard time stopping the behavior, in spite of our efforts to redirect or explain that we don't like it, once it's escallated to this point, so it often ends up that someone gets pretty upset. 

This rough, crazy behavior is often worse if there's an outsider around, which I think is pretty typical too. And he can get really excited with other kids and while he usually just wants to hug them or hold their hand, he will often do it too hard or too much, and they don't like it.

 Then there's just the everyday stuff like when he's going from the refrigerator  back to the kitchen table he might yell "bllllaaaaagggg!" and then run with his arms in the air and his head bobbing from side to side all the way back to the table, rip the chair out from under the table accidently knocking it over in the process, screech another time, fumble through righting the chair again, and finally climb up into it frantically.  It seems like a lot of our normal daily tasks have been taken over by these spazz-attacks, and it makes getting things done really hard, not to mention being out in public.  It's exhausting. 

So, I kind of get it that this is probably all fairly normal, it's just that it seems more intense than what I observe other boys his age doing.  He takes it farther, he is usually louder, he has a harder time settling down, and it's nearly constant lately. 

I just wonder if there isn't something behind this erratic, spazzy behavior.  I've played around with his diet since he does have food sensativities, but I can't pinpoint what the offending food might be.  I've tried getting him more outside time, unstructured and free.  I've also tried reasoning with him about my expectations of how quickly he gets his shoes on etc.  I've tried giving him small things to focus on like that he can play with a friend, but absolutely must keep his hands off.  And of course, there are times that I just kind of lose it and will shout "STOP RUNNING INTO ME!".  I always feel bad about the latter because I know he's not trying to hurt me, but it can be so frustrating.

So, are there any activities that can help boys like this settle down, or feel more settled?  Any ways of talking to him about it?  Any ways of helping us to cope with it?

Many thanks, wise parents!

[prescottchels]

I totally get what you mean when you refer to him as "bonkers" and having spazz attacks lol I've been a nanny and sitter for so many children, and when they'd get like that I'd send them outside-no matter what! No matter how much they whined, pleaded or resisted...I'd say your energy is too crazy for inside take it outside. No anger, just firm, matter of fact, this is what you're doing and you're not gonna change my mind. And it ALWAYS worked. Once they got outside and spent some of that energy they'd naturally wander back in more grounded and chill.

I would look at diet some more too...I've heard from friends and here on mdc that food dyes and wheat both cause crazies in their kiddos, and well...of course sugar. If you know you're gonna have a sugary day whether it's a special holiday, birthday or treat you can try giving him chromium as a supplement as it helps regulate blood sugar.

Otherwise it sounds like you're doing a good job making sure he gets lots of time to run and play free everyday. That's key, and also trying to observe where the fine line is to being energetic and then going over the top and trying to redirect his energy w/another activity that perhaps is more mellow, but engaged like maybe painting at an easel or play doh or leggos....or bringing it all the way down to some together reading time or watching a show together (if you do tv, videos)-something with positive, mellow physical contact. too much screen time could also be part of the problem too though. Only you can observe how his behavior changes w/how much screen time he gets.

Also lavender essential oil rubbed into his ears and feet can help him calm down when it's time to rest. And or you can fill a spray bottle with water and add about 10 drops, shake it up and use it as air mist. It might help both of you! Even if it doesn't help him calm down all that much it might help you feel more chill even when he's bonkers which is always good ;-)

Good Luck Mama!!

Hopefully some others will chime in too...

ETA: make sure you get some time for yourself everyday too, so you have the reserves to deal with his behavior.

[DianeFuentes]

I agree. Giving him a particular activity to redirect his energy before bed time can be a lot of help. My brother who is also hyperactive (he is special) are given physical enrichment activities before his therapy. We have an exercise ball for him so he'd be exhausted or have less energy when its time to focus. Maybe you can practice with him holding your hand gently or show him how his grip can be painful to other kids.

[porcelina]

Interesting, what is this "chromium"? My DS (3.75) is seriously affected by the plunge in blood sugar following a sugar treat, to the point of extreme, irrational tantrum, particularly if he has an empty stomach at the time. I read a book called Little Sugar Addicts, and it suggests filling up with protein to regulate blood sugar levels. We've been trying to focus more on getting him protein at every meal, and when we are able to do it, he is much better regulated. I am at the point where I have to carry around an emergency drinkable yogurt much of the time, so that he can get immediate protein when necessary.

Oh, and OP, you are describing EXACTLY my DS! Yes, we often tell him he has to take it outside, but he usually doesn't want to, though will often calm down when we say it. Yes, I really think it is within the realm of normal, as annoying as it is at times!!
 

Originally Posted by prescottchels 

I totally get what you mean when you refer to him as "bonkers" and having spazz attacks lol I've been a nanny and sitter for so many children, and when they'd get like that I'd send them outside-no matter what! No matter how much they whined, pleaded or resisted...I'd say your energy is too crazy for inside take it outside. No anger, just firm, matter of fact, this is what you're doing and you're not gonna change my mind. And it ALWAYS worked. Once they got outside and spent some of that energy they'd naturally wander back in more grounded and chill.

I would look at diet some more too...I've heard from friends and here on mdc that food dyes and wheat both cause crazies in their kiddos, and well...of course sugar. If you know you're gonna have a sugary day whether it's a special holiday, birthday or treat you can try giving him chromium as a supplement as it helps regulate blood sugar.

Otherwise it sounds like you're doing a good job making sure he gets lots of time to run and play free everyday. That's key, and also trying to observe where the fine line is to being energetic and then going over the top and trying to redirect his energy w/another activity that perhaps is more mellow, but engaged like maybe painting at an easel or play doh or leggos....or bringing it all the way down to some together reading time or watching a show together (if you do tv, videos)-something with positive, mellow physical contact. too much screen time could also be part of the problem too though. Only you can observe how his behavior changes w/how much screen time he gets.

Also lavender essential oil rubbed into his ears and feet can help him calm down when it's time to rest. And or you can fill a spray bottle with water and add about 10 drops, shake it up and use it as air mist. It might help both of you! Even if it doesn't help him calm down all that much it might help you feel more chill even when he's bonkers which is always good ;-)

Good Luck Mama!!

Hopefully some others will chime in too...

ETA: make sure you get some time for yourself everyday too, so you have the reserves to deal with his behavior.

[prescottchels]

Chromium is a nutrient that apparently is quite deficient in most people's bodies. It helps insulin work better (getting the sugar where it needs to go in our body) so that when we consume carbs/sugar we don't get the drastic up/down swing that comes from our body being overloaded b/c it doesn't have enough workers to do the job.

here are a couple interesting links. Make sure you get GTF rather than piccolinate chromium if you don't read the articles. 1 capsule w/food will usually do the trick, but if it doesn't take 2. If you have a little one that's not ready to swallow capsules just twist them open and mix the contents w/a bite of food.

http://www.allstarhealth.com/lj_c/gtf_chromium.htm

http://www.naturalnews.com/030292_chromium_diabetes.html