~~~~~~~~AUGUST 2011 INFERTILITY ONE THREAD! ~~~~~~~~~~~ - Page 2

[renavoo]

Hi TenzinsMama, i hear that the AFC is the more important and more relevant number; i heard it correlates with your fertility and response to treatment more than the FSH levels. So the fact that you have good AFC is great! I hope that no matter what you decide to do, you find peace. In the end, it will all work out and I hope that you'll be happy with whatever choice you make!

I can't believe the wait list for IVF is so long!!! Where are you located? DH and I decided to do IVF one month and we started within a couple of day, which is when my AF started. (telephone consultation July 1st, started birth control pills starting July 3rd, started stims July 19th, retrieval August 5th, Transfer August 10th.- I was one of the slower responders!) We also had to pay out of pocket too though so if your IVF would be covered by national health insurance that would be a wonderful thing!

You know, IVF wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Let me be honest-it wasn't a lot of fun but it wasn't really too bad because the needles are so much smaller now! My DH did all of the injections for me (I'm such a baby!) and after the initial injection, it was easy for him. Some of the injections I got stung- one of them burned going in so twelve days of that was definitely not fun. But really, it wasn't too bad. On average, I had to take 3 injections a day. Sometimes 2, sometimes 3 and once in a while 4 injections, depending on what day in the cycle I was in (they had to increase my dose periodically and towards the end, I had to add in a new med). DH was most nervous about the trigger shot because that was intramuscular, which meant it was a big needle. But I just iced the area and all was ok with the world. haha

One of the worst parts was that I needed to get blood taken so many times that it really started to hurt a lot when they stuck the needle in because they used the same spots over and over again. Again, it was minor but it was amusing because my arm had black and blues and I looked like a druggie ;)

I have to say, egg retrieval was probably my favorite part...it was such a feeling of relief that I no longer had the eggs in me and therefore, i couldn't screw up their growth anymore ;) After the retrieval, I was just constantly nervous because, well, we were waiting anxiously to find out how many fertilized and then how many survived day to day. Now that the transfer is done, I'm also much calmer because, really, there's nothing much I can do to change the outcome. Either I get pregnant or not...as long as I take care of myself, I'm pretty much helpless in terms of that. That's probably why I'm not as crazed as I usually am during other TTC cycles. That and, after 1.5 years of TTC, I think i've just gotten used to the grind and I'm kind of exhausted from the constant worrying. haha but it is only 2dpt for me. Ask me again in about a week and I'm sure i'll be crazy again, trying to talk myself out of taking a test. ;)

Still taking some meds-Progesterone suppository and estrogen tablets. These make me a little fatigued but generally, I seem to be tolerating them well. So no issues there. I hope that my experience helps you see that it really isn't a bad process at all!

The other thing that helps is really talking to people here. Talk about relief! Everyone knows sort of what you're going through in this crazy journey and you'll find someone who can answer your question or empathize with you because she has gone through the exact same thing. It's really amazing. On a morning talk show one day, I saw a segment that reported the results of a study (I think) that showed that women in support groups were much more likely to become pregnant that women who were not in the support groups. i can definitely see why that would be!!

Anyway, good luck and definitely feel free to vent whenever!!!

[TenzinsMama]

Renavoo, I too wouldn't want to give myself the injections, so I would get my DH to do it (he'd be totally okay with that, because he is a paramedic).  I did give a friend an injection on two occasions, because it was at work and she couldn't do it, she had just gotten too anxious about it-- so the first one I did went in great (I had no idea what to do other than what she told me).  It went into her abdomen (is that where they all go?) and I surprised myself so much, that I let go and the needle was thankfully still stuck into her... then the second time I did it way too slow and it caused her discomfort.  Not something I enjoyed doing.  But I guess if you have to do it yourself, you do...

Thanks for sharing the info about what you have to do with the injections... Did you have any weird or unpleasant side effects from them? 

I'm really happy that info you passed along about AFC.  That makes me feel more optimistic!  Also, I'm not as worried about my right fallopian tube going into spasm during the HSG this morning, because in talking with my DH he says that anytime something is irritating a tube/tubelike structure in the body it can cause it to go into spasm (e.g. laryngospasm when inserting tube down windpipe during surgery, vasospasm when something is going into the vein like an IV, etc.)

That's crazy quick with the IVF in your area!  I'm in Alberta, Canada... not sure what it is like in other provinces.  My DH and I will have to pay out of pocket for IVF (or any IUI we do).  The province of Quebec has just started paying for it for couples (not sure if it is just once or more than that), in an effort to cut down on the transfer of multiple embryos and the resulting health care costs of pregnancies with twins, triplets.  We have his health insurance through his work which will cover the cost of 80% of the drugs, so that helps.  How long did it take for you and your DH to decide that you would go the IVF route? 

[renavoo]

Hey TenzinsMama,

There was one other shot that seemed really difficult to give...I was on the antagonist protocol so I was on Menopur and Gonal F until my follicles reached a certain size and then they added a drug called Ganirelix. DH said that needle was very odd. First time he gave it, the needle wouldn't go in!! He had to jam it in!! After he got used to it, it was a breeze but the first time, it really hurt!

Hmmm side effects. Not really anything major. I mean, major bloatedness and twinges/ soreness near the ovaries but i think that is to be expected consider you're growing the follies and the ovaries are huge at the end of the cycle. I remember having some nausea as well. But generally, I tolerated the drugs pretty well. However, I hear a lot of women do not tolerate clomid well. i don't know how clomid treated you but i had very few issues with clomid. I think i generally felt a little nausea but otherwise, I didn't feel any different from before! Same with letrozole (femara). I don't know whether I'm just lucky or what...I really just haven't had to deal with many untoward side effects with those drugs. However, the worst was oral progesterone. That made me into a maniac. Seriously...I was exhausted and moody as all heck. I like the suppositories 1000 times better.

I assume giving the dye for the HSG could cause spasms too then, huh? it makes complete sense! I'm glad that you're feeling better about it! It'll make this journey so much easier!

Ugh about paying out of pocket! I always thought that national health systems were better about covering these types of medical procedures :( DH and I had to pay OOP for 3IUIs plus meds and many doctor's visits. Once we changed insurances, we got one IUI covered for but then we wanted to go on to IVF because I'm turning 35 very soon. We had been trying for 1.5 years but seriously trying for 1 year. Since I was getting older, we decided after we did 3-4 IUIs, we would move one. So once that happened, we moved on :) A part of me thinks that if I kept trying, i probably would have EVENTUALLY gotten pregnant naturally. However, I think that's because I was diagnosed with unexplained fertility so everything looked good. So we didn't want to take the chance that it would take much longer or by the time we gave up and went to IVF, it would be too late. Sigh. It was a good decision for us and I'm comfortable with it but it doesn't stop the inevitable what ifs, such as what if i just gave it a couple more natural cycles?

For IVF, we too had to pay OOP but the oddest thing is that although they said drugs were not covered, the insurance company ended up covering for 80% of the drugs as well; they also covered the visits I had to do in NYC. it was such a nice surprise!! I still don't know how that happened but i'm grateful...I just looked at my bank account balance and let me just say...I'm not happy. I'm especially concerned because of the issues with our economy but that's a discussion for another day :)

Anyway, please let me know if you have any other questions. Also, seriously consider going to the summer IVF thread (soon to be the fall thread, I'm sure). There are a lot more people going through this and they can provide great insights into the costs and any other aspects of IVF as well. In fact, I'm sure they are even better because some of them have had experience with multiple IVFs. Also, many of the graduates (ie currently pregnant women) still check on so you can ask those women questions as well!

[deborahbgkelly]

Thanks for the encouragement. I have my day 3 testing tomorrow. By the way, Hashimoto's is not just a thyroid problem, to clarify with people. Yes, it is related to thyroid and causes hypothyroid, but it is actually an auto-immune disorder that attacks the thyroid gland and, apparently, sometimes gets confused and attacks babies. They said something about putting me on low-dose prednisone once I conceive (in early pregnancy) in order to avoid miscarriage. I don't love the choice of miscarriage or of having steroids during pregnancy, but it is what it is.

[gozal]

Originally Posted by TenzinsMama 
I'm pretty ready to go for it, probably IVF... except... *tears* it means child-led/natural weaning is not possible.  I would have to get started on gentley-encouraged weaning.  I'm so torn.  In some  ways it feels like I'm being selfish to want another baby and do the weaning, and what would be hard would be having him weaned and not getting a bfp after all that.  (I even feel selfish for having one baby and wanting another, because I remember so clearly how it was when I first started this ttc journey and had to face the idea of not being able to conceive one child).  But then, I think to myself that I'm wanting him to have a sibling down the road, and that we need to do this for that to even have the possibity of occuring.  To add to the difficulty of making any decision, my mom has said to me that I should be thankful that I have one child, and that I should focus on loving him and caring for him.  I AM so very, very thankful for having him... and I do love him and care for him with all that I can be and do...I know she is trying to make me feel better, but...   Can anybody share their experiences with this--needing to wean in order to commence fertility treatments? 

First of all, TenzinsMama, I'm sorry to see you here - I know your from the One Thread - but am hoping this becomes the wonderful, warm, helpful place to hang out for you that it is for me.

Do I have experience to share about weaning to ttc - oh yes. I am VERY frustrated with the decision-making process I went through and am happy to share my thoughts, so, um, watch out! I too agonized over "what if I wean and then something happens and I lose both the nursing relationship and the pregnancy I dream of?" I feared weaning would be traumatic for both me and DS. I felt guilty and conflicted and I ignored my intuition. The short answer is, I think it is important to honor to honor the deep feeling that you want another child, and I do not believe there is anything wrong with weaning if weaning will allow you to try to get pregnant.

My situation was a little different, in that I had LAM the entire time I nursed, which was 37 months, and I had my DS at age 29, so I had the feeling of having more time. I waited along time - about a year - beyond the latest time that I wanted to actively ttc. We were not preventing at all from the time DS was born, but 24 months was the latest I wanted to wait to ttc. Well, 24 months came and went and no PPAF. My OB said when I weaned, I could get pregnant. All my bf resources said it's incredibly rare not to be able to get pregnant while nursing, especially a toddler. Well, neither of them were correct, in my case. One thing that I finally found out on my own is that it is unusual for children to self-wean within the first 3 years of life. Most, given the choice, will self-wean later than that. That finally gave me the peace I needed to initiate weaning. I knew something was wrong and I knew I wanted to have more babies - more than just one more - and I knew my DS would likely not self-wean anytime soon (I could have told you this without reading the book, but everyone else was telling me otherwise). I was not willing to give up the chance of having the family size I dreamed of. The book that was most helpful to me was Kathleen Huggins' book The Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning. One the one hand, she is very pro-extended nursing (which I am too) and on the other, she is honest about the realities of child-led weaning.

I have had people - people I love and respect - say to me the same thing that your mom is saying, and while it's not untrue that focusing on what you do have is a positive thing to do, it is not helpful in this situation and I personally resent it. Wanting another child does NOT mean that you are ungrateful or do not sufficiently love your existing child, and to imply so is, to put it politely, unfair and unkind. I know people do not usually mean it that way and I do not get angry with them, but I do not accept this premise. I wish I had allowed myself to believe this sooner. I wish I had weaned sooner. I think that the feeling of regret of not trying to have another child is as devastating as the feeling of having initiated weaning and still not being able to get pregnant (for me).  It sound trite, I know, but life forces us to compromise on many things that we feel principled about. Because of my medical condition, I know I will not be able to nurse my next baby for as long as I might want to, should I have another child. But that's life. Breastfeeding, and weaning, are processes that are so little discussed and honored in our culture. Weaning is not easy. But it is a passage that both parties have to pass through. And doing so because you want to have another child is honorable, not selfish, in my opinion. Most people who write about this decision have not faced the stark reality of weaning vs. pregnancy. They tend not to believe that it exists. Well, it does. It did for me, and it sounds like it does for you. There aren't many of us, but I would do it with a "quiet heart" as we say in my native language.

[brichole1214]

Good morning ladies.  I just want to let you know that I am so inspired by everyone.  I really hope that I can get more support with BFing next time we have a baby.  I wish that I could have kept Emma with me and out of that light from the nursery while we were in the hospital and I really wish i could stick the nurse who gave her a passy in the eye with a hot iron poker.  She was doing REALLY REALLY good with BFing the first 2 days she was here....then they would wait until she was screaming bloody murder to bring her to me so i could feed her.  I was so mad!!!!  I really don't understand people these days.  Then they wanted to get frustrated with me when she wouldn't latch on...IT WASN"T MY FAULT!!!! I had to do something because she was literally starving by the time she would get to me.  My DH wasn't helping matters either because he was getting frustrated.  I think if he and the nurses would have just left me alone things would have been a lot better!!  I wish that my breasts were much smaller than they are too.  Having a 40F+ and trying to get them to cooperate is NOT FUN lol. 

I hope that everyone is doing well.  I've missed being able to get in touch with you ladies lately.  I know that it's been so long since I've actaully gotten a chance to stop and talk to everyone on here.  My trainee might be getting fired today because it's the second day in a row that she hasn't called into work before NOT showing up.  It's really driving me crazy.

Anyways, i need to get to work i will talk to you soon!

[gozal]

Oops, I forgot to say, Monkeyscience - thank you so much for popping in to tell me that! It definitely helps! Especially if some miracle happens and we manage to get pregnant next month. Here is hoping that your free baby feels ready to join you SOON.

Brichole, don't worry, I learned so much about breastfeeding through all my ups and down with DS, I'll shower you with all I know for next time! Although I hear every baby is different, so maybe I don't really know anything. I hope we both get to find out lots more about breastfeeding in, oh, about 9-10 months.

Renavoo, aw, I am blushing. You know, people always tell me I'm very calm, but I don't usually feel that way! Actually the things that make me un-calm are the little things that other people don't seem frazzled by, which always makes me envious. I dread making phone calls or getting out of the house at a certain time! I am wishing this week and the next fly by for you. Keep on being extra kind to yourself - lots of fun indulgences and rest, okay?

Oh, so, + opk for me this morning. That means I'm about 2 weeks from ttc. I have a consult with my RE tomorrow and I am really hoping I get an official green light and no bad news.

[monkeyscience]

Weekend Wrap-Up
Name: monkeyscience
Age: 27
TTC #: 1
CD: 48(? chart is elsewhere ATM)
DPO (if applicable): 6!!!!!!!!
Testing: starting 8 DPO... so impatient!
Trying Since: June 2010
Plan for this Cycle: pray!!
Thoughts:We did it!! I actually ovulated all by myself!! We had great timing for BD, too! Pleeeaaaase come, baby!

[deborahbgkelly]

I just came from the clinic and we got some really good news. Ian passed his SA with flying colors and I have 11 resting follicles! There are some things that aren't quite as wonderful, but are most likely not a huge deal. I already told everyone about the Hashimoto's, but I am hopeful that switching to brand and going up to 100 micrograms will make a big difference. The other part that is not great is that I am a carrier for Canavan's disease, but may not be a big problem since Ian is not Jewish (pretty specifically an Ashkenazi Jewish issue).

[monkeyscience]

Yay for good news, deborah! Sorry about the bad genetic news - I'd never heard of Canavan's before, but it looks pretty bad, according to Dr. Google. :( But if your husband isn't a carrier, then you don't have to worry about it. :)

[TenzinsMama]

Thanks, Renavoo, for the info on the meds and such.  I hope you are having some relaxing days!

Gozal, I'm going to see if the library has that book, and looking forward to more info from you!

[deborahbgkelly]

That was exactly my sentiment monkeyscience. It is possible he's a carrier, but he has a much lower chance of being one than I did, since he is not Jewish and the disease primarily affects Ashkenazi Jewish people.

[renavoo]

Brichole, we miss you too!! Can't wait until you have time to chat with us and let us know how things are going. I can't believe your trainee is getting fired!! She hasn't worked there long, as she??

Gozal, YAH FOR +OPK!!!! My fingers are crossed that you have a go ahead soon and no more issues!! Soon, I expect you to be writing in that you got that positive BFP, with a sticky bean!

MonkeyScience, YAH! I hope this is your month too!!! We need some more BFPs on this thread!!

Deborah, I'm so sorry about the possible genetic disease but I'm really really excited for you about the SA and the AFC. 11 seems like a great number and according to my RE, it's predictive of how you will respond to meds. What is your next step?

TenzinsMama, anytime!! I hope that you have better clarity about what to do!

AFM, well, I don't really feel any different so I'm a little worried. I mean, I guess I don't really know WHAT i'm supposed to be feeling so...haha. I am feeling bloated with a bit of cramping but that could be because of my ovaries being overstimulated the way they were. I dunno. I've decided to test on Sat (POAS) because it'll have been 15 days since the egg retrieval; they want me to go in for a beta on the 23rd, which is 5 days post 5dt, which would be 20 days after retrieval and fertilization. So I think I'll test it out on Sat. And, if it's not pregnant, DH and I can have a good cry on Sat together instead of me getting the news on Tuesday, when i'm in the office!

i'm so upset because I ended up twisting my ankle today. I was walking to a work meeting and my ankle just twisted under me. I'm fairly clumsy so it's happened a bunch of times before but i'm a little concerned because technically, my orthopedic surgeon thinks I need ankle surgery. Now is NOT the time to be dealing with that. Sigh...I was doing so well too. This is why I try to wear sneakers everywhere! But I had a work meeting so I had to wear shoes...but they were flats. haha I really am just THAT clumsy!! I'll try to walk it off and hopefully, my ankle will be good as before in a couple of days. Which, by the way, is fairly weak and awful. ;) hehe Oh well, this is why DH always gives me his arm when we walk and makes me hold on for dear life. I think I need a wheelchair.

[monkeyscience]

renavoo - I know what you mean about not feeling any different. Well, I gues I've been rather gassy, but I don't think that's a pregnancy sign! I have felt like crap yesterday and today, but it's a sort of hard-to-describe crappy feeling that I get on occasion, anyway. It would be awesome if we could be pregnant together, though. :) When would you be due? I'm sorry about the ankle - that stinks! At least your dh tries to help you out. He sounds very sweet. My ankles periodically roll for absolutely no reason at all, but luckily it just causes me to trip - not painful at all. It's like they just get tired of standing up, and all the sudden, my foot is on its side!

AFM, waiting anxiously for tomorrow morning, even though I know that test won't be definitive. Wishing I somehow felt more pregnant.

[renavoo]

MonkeyScience, I'm so with you! I mean, it's hilarious that we just want to feel bad in order to be happy. haha. I am extremely gassy too so maybe it's "our" pregnancy symptom. haha that would be such an embarrassing sign. But I do think that pregnant women tend to be a little more gassy...just not this early on.

I think technically, I'm 11 days post ovulation. Egg retrieval was on the 5th of August. They implanted the embies five days later. I don't really know why they aren't testing until the 23rd which would technically be like 18 days post ovulation but whatever. I will test on Saturday and if it is a BFN, then I'll wait until Tuesday for the blood work as confirmation. My way of thinking is that if it is negative on Saturday, at least DH and I can help each other get through the disappointment. I may move it even to Sunday before testing...I haven't decided yet. I guess it depends on my will power! haha

I would LOVE to have a pregnancy partner. But even if I'm not pregnant, I hope you are! It's just so exciting that you ovulated all on your own! Please let it be your month!!!

Gozal, I hope you got the green light to move forward!!!!

[monkeyscience]

OK, so BFN this morning at 8 DPO.  I know, I know... way to early to know for sure. The frowny face is more for the uncertainty than any feeling that I'm *not* pregnant. I'm also annoyed I left all my nice, pee-straight-on-them HPTs in Houston. I have a bunch of them from my medicated cycle, and now they're going to be wasted! Why didn't I just stick in one or two?? Anyway, I think I will skip testing tomorrow and test again Friday. I'm trying to decide if I should get another 88 cent test from Walmart (the brand is First Signal, which I don't know how sensitive it is/what sort of track record it has), or if I should splurge on something more expensive. I'd really rather not, but I do want something with a good track record. Sigh. $3.50+ is just too much to throw away on something that you may have to buy again the next day!

BUT... temp went up today from 97.7 to 98.1. So maybe triphasic? Or maybe it's just because I slept like crap last night. Sigh. Still hoping for the best, though!

[renavoo]

Sorry, MonkeyScience. :( it really is annoying to not know what is going on. But it is soooo early and I still think that this month may be your month! The planning has been so good. I plan on using the POASs I got from amazon which were massively cheap. It really doesn't make sense to use the more expensive sticks. I may buy an expensive stick to use the day of the test or to confirm if I get a positive on the cheapies but generally, i think that even cheapies are probably fine. There isn't much complexity that goes into building one of these tests! Hopefully, the temperature rise continues to show elevated temps tomorrow for a triphasic chart!!

AFM, I'm EXHAUSTED. I want to say that it was because I didn't sleep well but I have had nights like last night before (had to get up twice to go to the bathroom...hmmm) but I haven't felt as tired as I did this morning. And I still feel slightly nauseated but all of these could very well be due to progesterone supplements!

Oh well. who knows. this can drive us crazy!!!

[gozal]

Hey guys, just a quick update. So guess what? No bad news from the RE! Well, hopefully all my b/w will come back fine, but no MRI needed as of now. AND...we are cleared to ttc as soon as I start my next cycle! I think I'm having a slow rise thing going on with my chart, but hopefully tomorrow it will keep rising and I'll know I ovulated. Btw, I am pretty sure I am going to have an L-L-R o pattern with the R next cycle (do you guys know about that? left-right ovary stuff?). In any case, I go on CD2-3 for a baseline, then an HSG on cd5-10. If I don't get pregnant next cycle they will probably recommend Clomid for me. So, yeah. Excitement!

[renavoo]

YAH GOZAL!!! So excited for you!!!! Let us know when you start so we can countdown with you :o)

[monkeyscience]

Yay for good news, gozal! I'm curious about the left-right ovary thing - what's that about?

AFM, bought more HPTs yesterday, but haven't taken one today. Will try again tomorrow morning.