I just want a NBAVBAC too! Even though DS was a VBAC, he was 10 weeks early, a VERY fast birth & he spent 3 1/2 weeks in the NICU. A nice, vaginal, low key birth would be so nice. One in which I get to put baby to breast right away, skin to skin.....
And you make awesome points too. Learn what you can from past births & apply those as much as you can to future births. But I think we all need to be flexible. I don't think you need to compromise your birth goals, but be open to the idea that birth does not unfold as we plan. Have a birth team that will support your goals, but will support changes too. One of the biggest things I took from my c-section was that I felt in charge for the most part. It didn't go at all as planned, & in hind sight, there are things that I think the midwife missed, but I felt we had for the most part control of the situation.
What I have learned through my births & the births I have attended as a doula is: You need to feel safe, supported, & cared for, whatever than means to you. You deserve to make your own decisions about what is going on, with GOOD, ACCURATE information. You deserve to make any decisions without someone breathing down your neck. It is ok if things don't go as you planned, & if you felt like those changes were made with informed consent, in an environment that you felt safe, supported, & cared for & with adequate time to make any decisions, you usually feel better about what happened. Not that there still can't be regret or even mental or physical trauma, but I think it can make a big difference.
My birth plan will be simple. It will mostly say: I BELIEVE IN INFORMED CONSENT. Support that I desire a natural birth without pain meds. If something comes up along the way, talk to me about it. Give me the info I desire to make an informed decision. Unless the baby is in imminent danger, don't rush my decisions. I am not an adversary, just an informed mama who believes that I can make decisions WITH my care providers that will be good for everyone.
I haven't thought it all out yet, but that's what I got for now. I'm assembling what I think is a good birth team, who support my goals but will work well with any bumps along the way. I also have a great hubby who I have been with over 18 years, & he is a great support person & an awesome asshole to anyone if needed.