decluttering and uncertain life expectancy, the challenge ... - Page 2

[IsaFrench]

i don't do on-line banking and paperless bills ... but it is a good point

am hoping tomorrow to make sure that I have one of these box organisers with a handle (I have 3 dusty ones with hardly anything in them)

with a copy of every bank account of every family member + a copy of birth certificates etc ...

otherwise slowly working over the years, I've finally convinced DH to put HIS important papers in ONE box high up where kids cannot get to, it usually works, except that for the last 3 months we haven't been able to lay hand on one of his ID (he has 2 nationalities, so not the one most important to him, but the one of the country where we live now, so rather important in my eyes ....) SO when I try to go though all of our piles of mixed up important papers and random ones tomorrow, not only I hope to throw away two thirds of it, but I'm hoping to find his ID again,... if not, I've told him that next time he's taking time off so that I spend the day in hospital (in two weeks time) I'll send him to the right office with the right original and photocopies of whatever he needs to start the process for re-issuing the ID... (have just done that last month for DS whose ID had come up for renewal, was surprised because I was a bit late, having postponed going ... but in the end it wasn't so much of a problem to gather whatever original documents and photocopies that were needed ...)

I have a little green book with all important addresses and phone numbers (DH usually cannot remember where his little address book is, so when he needs to contact his family -which is not too often in fact- he knows to ask me for their details so he's had that green book in hand .....)

still haven't done anything more about the soft toy (hoping to finish by tomorrow) ... the good thing about the wait with the soft toys is that eldest DD hasn't made such a scene as before when she would act like she wouldn't survive if she was separated from all her soft toys ... not sure if it's the impact of the illness and the changes in our lifestyle that have had an impact or not ... I tried asking if I had explained enough, & if she had any more questions etc ....

I don't get much feedback from the two eldest ...

two days ago we were at the bus stop on a way to a paddling pool to meet up with friend and the mood was rather joyful so I starting telling them how suprised I was the previous week when I had gone for my first full day at hospital, because I was told about a small operation under local anesthetic so I had not imagined I would be confined to a bed for the most part of the day (I thought it was walk in, walk out ...) & I had found it rather comical that when they come to fetch you to go to the operating theater, although you are well enought to walk on your two legs, they actually roll the rather large bed in all the corridors, up a lift etc ....we had a good laugh about it ...

also yesterday, I just dropped in quickly to the hospital on the way to park for a play date

the lady in the room with me last week, was supposed to start a course of day long treatment last Friday, but in the end, after about 4 hours wait she was told it couldn't go ahead and that it would be postponed by a few days & I could see she was desappointed that we would not be synchronised from now on since we had started to get to know each other etc .... so I just wanted to drop by for 5 minutes to say hello and mention to her that the few days after my Friday treatment had not been too bad etc .... + show her how much I had progressed on the baby blanket I had started crocheting on Friday

plus I thought it might be a good idea for the children to see where I was going when I tell them that i'm going to the hospital

so the eldest got to have a quick look in the room where I was last Friday (no bed, just 5 recliners)

... it's always hard to judge how much/how little to say

some of my relatives talked very freely about my illness when we were just family together, when i first received the definite diagnosis, so of course "the children know" ....

we got the new glasses this afternoon + DS seems less oppositional about is and he SHOULD have them on all the time, two years ago I lost the battle, he had other issues going on and I stopped insisting & apparently he was wearing the glasses a little at school (but only that ),

since our ophtalmologist visit in July he's seemed more motivated (but after the definite diagnosis I stopped because we hadn't had time to get the new lenses in before going away & his vision has changed quite a bit apparently ....), now, someone in the lenses shop mentionned that he would be so happy with the new lenses/proper correction that he would be much more comfortable and surely wanting to wear the glasses ...

our dentist is on holiday, I should have had us all for a cleaning in June and let it pass

might try to see if I can get an appointment next week with another dentist nearby .....

that would be one more thing done to make me feel that I'm up to date and taking proper care of my children ...

= maybe I should make such a list for DH with how often & what to do (teeth, eyes,  .....)

[mkksmom]

It's definitely hard to judge how much to say to children. I wonder if there are any books that would help them. I'd maybe sit them down and talk with them about how it's hard to know what to think or feel in these situations and that it's normal to have all sorts of feelings... anger, sadness, worry, wanting to be strong for mom's sake, happiness in the moments of laughter. But then give them each a journal where they can draw pictures or write about anything they are thinking/feeling... whether it is related to what is going on right now or not.

Keep your positive attitude and your sense of humor. You are doing great. And how kind of you to stop in to see the other lady you started out with. I was thinking, and you can ignore this advice if you like, but you might want to keep your decluttering efforts subtle and not terrible fast in this case for the sake of the kids. I think paperwork is an area where you can be ruthless, but maybe make sure they are really OK with getting rid of toys right now. There are so many things that will change with your treatments, so maybe keeping things "normal" for them is important. I found that letting my dd "rescue" 3 items from a big box or bag full helps her feel more in control. Yes, she does still fuss a bit about giving up her things, but it goes better when she can feel like she can save a few favorites. I don't know, you need to do what is best for you. I was just thinking.

[momct]

My husband went through cancer treatments last year and  I wanted to  keep our house running smoothly while I escorted him to his appointments.I would suggest if you have the space and the money  to stockpile the nonperishable items you normally use.Being able to go to a closet and pull out a tube of toothpaste or  for you or your husband be able to cook some pasta quickly will make day to day life easier.You don't need to worry about stuff like that- get enough of things- to last through your treatment schedule .Make a list and go shopping now so that things will be there when you need them.Start a master list of items with preferrred brands so if there are days you don't feel like shopping your husband will have the info he needs.Wishing you good luck with your treatments, I hope for a successful outcome.