Hey all.. I'm a single mom to a little boy and have been feeling very confused lately(about who I am). I've dated and loved women in the past, but it's been quite a few years(I've been single for 3). Since my son was born, I have just not felt anything toward men. Even before I got pregnant, I always wanted children and that was always somewhat of an obsession of mine while dating men. But I date them still as I want more children one day soon. It feels odd, and makes me uneasy. I don't feel butterflies, or attraction, or chemistry, in fact I feel indifferent.
I'm at this point where I've been questioning who I am and I don't really know where to go from here.
I've been starting to plan home insemination with a known donor and that is exactly what I want as a mother - no shared parenting, a sibling close in age to my son who I get to be 100% responsible for. There is NO doubt in my mind that I want another child by the end of next year. Yet I'm also feeling the pressure from others(family, friends) to meet men and date and "settle down" if I want more children. I've heard how all kids need a dad, etc.
It is really confusing to be questioning myself so much at this point in my life. I know I am attracted to women, but men on the other hand - I am only interested in dating men for the possibility of babies. Not really a good reason to continue, I think.
Has anyone been here with a young child? I know a lot of people figure out who they are young, but my younger years were confusing and my adult years have been entirely based around my son without focus on myself. I don't know if I should just stop dating completely until I figure it out, or keep pushing myself to date men, or try meeting some women and see where it goes.