Our foster daughter is 3yrs, 10 months old and not toilet trained. She's been with us for four months and when she came to live with us, the only information the worker had on her was that she WAS toilet trained. She arrived at our home in an oversized diaper filled with poop. It was pretty obvious that she was not toilet trained. "A" has been wearing pull-ups ever since we've had her.
We don't have any kids of our own, and she is the oldest foster child we have ever parented. We are doing the best we can do, but we are reaching what feels like our wits' end with this potty training issue. We encourage A to go pee and poop in the potty, that's where it belongs. It does not go in her pull-up. We praise her when she does go in the toilet, tell her how proud of her we are and it's so great that she went in the potty. However, she does not initiate going into the bathroom and sitting on the toilet. She only goes and sits on the toilet at our reminding, and is resistant to even trying about 40% of the time. When she does go in the toilet, it's only because we were lucky enough to get her to sit on the toilet just before she had to go. She has mentioned that she had to go potty BEFORE going in her pull-up a total of 3 times.
A shows no signs of wanting to void in the toilet. She is one of the only kids in her class at daycare still wearing pull-ups and that does not bother her. She does not care when she's peed or pooped in her pull-up, and she doesn't tell us when she's gone. We never discipline her for going in her pull-up; I don't want her getting any extra attention for going potty in her pull-up.
I just can't figure out how to motivate her to *want* to go in the toilet. She is getting increasingly defiant of us and anything we request that she do. She has grown mean towards her 1 year old brother, who she was always very helpful with and loving towards. I fear that our window of time to get her potty trained is gone, since now she just wants to do the opposite of whatever we want.
If anyone has been in this situation and has words of advice, please please share them.