Did your SN child make you rethink your family size? - Page 3

[mamahen2coop]

Now that I've had a little time to come to terms with DS2 and his diagnosis family planning isn't on my mind so much. I still dont think that we're probably done and I'm hoping that I'll feel as sure about being done as I did about when to start. It's helped to go to some support group meetings and see kids with the same diagnosis as older kids and adults. It helps to see the range of function so that we're not just focused on how bad it might be. It also helps that he hasn't had any medical problems or handicaps so it gives us hope that his biggest challenges will be cognitive. and only time will tell about that... just like typical kids. So now I feel like his diagnosis will make us think differently about our family size but that maybe it wont dictate it.

[fairejour]

Yes.

I know for a fact my next child would NOT be deaf, so we are done. We were afraid that if we had another "easier" child that our DD would be pushed to the side. Now we work hard to make sure she is always included, always able to understand our communication, and we can devote all our time and resources to ensure that she has the best technology, schools and in general, life!

[jillmamma]

Originally Posted by insidevoice 

No, not really.  We have 3.5 (#4 due in Dec).  My oldest has Aspergers (and many other quirks- she's a challenge) but she's old enough that in some ways it's not so intense.  My second child's needs were just becoming apparent when his brother was about 4 months old- they are just over a year apart.  Oddly, it's been a HUGE help to him to have a closely spaced younger sibling- he revisits milestones he didn't master as his brother reaches them and it's just the best situation for them together.  It was overwhelming for us initially, but it's the spacing that was right for them- odd how that worked out. 

Since my DS was diagnosed with PDD-NOS 4 years ago, after reading up on it, I am seeing more and more spectrum characteristics in myself.  I am the oldest of 4, with the next one being my sister who is 12 months younger than I am.  I feel like I had the same experience growing up with my sister as insidevoice's kids.  I was socially clueless as a kid, and my sister helped me SO much by introducing me to her friends, letting me hang out with them too, and just supporting me and being there for me.  We did a lot together (got ears pierced, went to girl scout camp, were mostly in the same schools, etc.)  My experience growing up has influenced my decisions on family planning, and makes me feel very glad that I have more than one (I have 3).  My oldest is diagnosed PDD-NOS, my second has SPD, and several characteristics of being on the spectrum, and now I suspect my third may be on the spectrum too (she is only 22 months, so hard to say, but she has gross motor and speech delays, and I am noticing sensory issues with her too.  Even so, with all 3 requiring some sort of therapy (OT for older two, ECI for youngest), I am so BLESSED to have all of them, and life would be so boring without them.  DH feels totally done with having kids (not so much because of special needs, but #3 was a surprise, and he really was not wanting to go for more than 2 anyway), but I could go either way...be accepting of the size we are (still would not want to do permanent birth control) or happily accept another sweet little soul into our family.  I also believe that people should keep their negative opinions to themselves, as there is no way they know every circumstance that family has had toward making their decision.  Good luck to you, whatever you end up doing! :)

[MommyKelly]

Nope :) Our 5th child was dx 1st when he was 22 months with autism, then his older sister (by 15 months) was dx with aspergers about 2 years later. We got pregnant with our 6th knowing fully well the child may be on the spectrum. (She is). We have since adopted 3 more kiddos ( with different issues of their own) through foster care.

My Dh is dx with Aspergers, although his psych says that had she seen him as a child she would have given him an autism dx. 

This has became my normal :)