I am new to the forum and I am in need of some advice.
Before I start please let me just state that I am fully aware of any risks and I have done as much research as my brain can handle on the subject of undescended testicle- the condition also comes from both sides of my sons family too but I am looking for a non-biased opinion and advice from mothers with children of similar age.
Nicholas is 4 in September and I have known of his problem since birth and also been very sceptical about any surgery to treat the condition- as any mother would be!
I have heard all the risk factors from infertility to testis cancer etc: in fact it's pretty much been shoved so far down my throat that Im choking on it.
My dad aged 65- left undescended testicle- 3 children, no cancer, inguinal hernia developed at aged 63.
My son's uncle on his dad's side- undescended testicle, dropped by 8 years old- just become a father- perfectlt fine, well and happy.
Both had no treatment whatsoever.
Dr after Dr has given me the ''Oh its in Nicholas' best interest to have this surgery''- May I add every single person my son has seen was a paediatric surgeon (go figure- they never offer alternatives)
I come across the hormone therapy thats available to promote natural descent of the testicle but for some reason or another dr's seem not to know anything about it and when I do mention it I get the ''Oh well it doesn't work as well as surgery''- maybe not but as a parent who doesnt want surgery cant we atleast give it a try? Each time my ''alterntave remedy to surgery'' has been dismissed.
I took my dad into the Drs surgery with me to try fight my corner (so to speak) my dad wasnt even acknowledged (how rude is that??)
Drs look at me like Im crazy for not wanting my son to have surgery- they cant seem to understand why (given the history) I'd be slightly apprehensive about the whole thing.
I had one Dr threaten me (indirectly) with ''childrens services'' should I say no to the surgery WTF?
This dr then went on to write a follow up to my sons health visitor stating after a ''long discussion about pro's and cons'' I had ''AGREED'' to have the surgery done.
My health visitor got back to me about this letter and said as soon as she read it she thought ''Theres no way Jeanine would ever have said any of this'' (she knows my views)
This dr got me so frightened that I found myself weeping and just agreeing and nodding in all the right places that suited her.
I then went on to get another opinion from a private surgeon who told me that although Nicholas' teste is undescended and ''Needed'' treatment, he would probably live a happy healthy life with the one fully descended, has a very small risk of cancer and will go on to father children (however advised it needed doing)
I agreed just to shut people up and that was in April... The surgery was booked for Oct and the date is approaching very fast- I have done as much research as I can and I just cannot convince myself my son NEEDS this op.
I have had some lovely advice from a lady on here already that made me feel A LOT better but if I try to explain her story to the dr's they will just tell me ''medicine has improved considerably since X, Y and Z''
One dr told me my son had right sided hydrocele (fluid build up) and because he was over 2 years old (the condition again was diagnosed at birth) he would also need surgery on that, too!!
Well when I took him for a check up last week there was no sign of this hydrocele- so back in April, had I agreed to surgery on that particular problem it would potentially have been an unecessarry procedure for something that would have cleared up on its own (despite numerous drs claiming otherwise)
I also suffered health anxiety for many years and I just know that my refusal for this surgery is going to be seen as a reflection on that- Im terrified these dr will go to ''higher authority'' to get me to agree to the operation..
I simply cannot agree at all.
Ive researched and researched... spoke to men between 16-26 with the same problem whom have never encountered a problem but CHOSE to have the surgery later in life and went on to have 3/4 kids.... (the surgery was their choice)
I want my son to decide as he gets older- should he come to me ''Mum I want the surgery'' I would NEVER stop him- however, based on what I know already and the advice Ive had from others who have been in the same situation I cant see myself ever saying yes at this time (unless Nicholas CHOSE to have it done himself) and I know that if I do tell the drs I cant agree, they'll ask me if someone else can do it on my behalf-
What kind of treatment is that as a mother? ''Oh you wont agree to it, you wont sign the consent papers so will someone else''....
Can ANYONE advise me-
I know all about the surgery, how long it takes etc etc (my friends son had it done and even then had no guarantees of anything)
Im trying to find parents who are against surgery (unless absolutely 100% needed) and those who had the courage to say ''Listen, this is MY son... and I am telling you NO!''
I need to find the strength.
I'd also like to add that my sons teste is in the left superficial inguinal canal and is palpable, movable and I can feel the bottom of the teste at the top of the scrotum.
Please help me. Thank you so much xxx
Edited by jeanine25 - 8/8/11 at 2:58am