How do I keep my baby healthy?

[chrisnjeri]

I'm feeling overwhelmed.  I have been paying careful attention to the foods we eat and the chemicals we put in and on our bodies, and I do everything I can to buy whole, natural foods even though we really don't have the money.  Now I find out that our carseat probably has dangerously high levels of bromine in it.  What the h***?  I feel like we can not get away from toxics.  I don't want my little girl getting sick from this stuff, or starting puberty at 8 years old. 

I feel like people (my family) think I'm crazy for being so scared of this stuff - after all, why would they sell it if  it wasn't safe, right?  Right now, I feel very jaded and angry and scared because we can't seem to get away from it.  BPA in our soup cans?  How do I take my baby anywhere in a toxic carseat without feeling like I am causing her permanent danger?

Does anyone else feel like this?  How do you cope on VERY little money (I can't just go out and buy a safer carseat)?  Anyone just think I AM going overboard and just need to chill?

[mommy212]

I do think you need to chill a bit. It's all fine and good to be worried and care (and who doesn't?) but some thing you just need to let go. At least your child is not playing in puddles of horse manure or starving on a diet of gruel or something. And maybe it's not the most enlightened way to cheer yourself up but just think of the parents who don't even try- the ones whose babies eat cheap formula, white rice cereal, who live in their carseats 24/7, etc. Do what you can and let the rest go- including the carseat thing. There's a lot to worry about these days but you have to temper it or it will consume you! Some of the things I have just let go are the 'dangers' of soy products, that fact that not all my produce is organic (or my dairy products, though i try), and all my neighbors' kids (whom ds loves) playing with toy guns, fighting and drinking koolaid and candy all day long. Don't let your worries make you an unhappy, neurotic person!

[Toposlonoshlep]

I am prone to catastrophic thinking too, and my DS is 2.5 Everyday I find something new that I didn't know about that could have hurt him. Incense burning during pregnancy and while nursing? Did it. Letting him play with a toy that apparently had PVC in it? Did it. Melting parts of my breast pump on the stove and breathing in fumes before I realized what was happening? Did it. Twice. Lead in our walls? Had the place tested and yep, had to get it ALL removed after my son was already two (His lead levels were normal, thank God!)  Toxic car seat? They're all toxic. Hell, the inside of a car is toxic like you wouldn't believe.

There are many things that can hurt our children. Most won't. They have fast-growing, fast-healing, strong little bodies. Like mommy212 said, there are parents who live happy lives and don't care to even try to protect their kids on any level. When I had my incense anxiety and I was convinced I gave my kid cancer, I suddenly began noticing mothers who were smoking while pregnant, or right around their kids. It sounds snooty, but it made me feel better!!!

My mom hit the nail on the head when I was obsessed with googling carcinogens and toxins. She said, "You need to pull it together and be grateful you have a healthy kid. Because if you lose your mind, you won't be able to raise him and someone else will. Someone who could care less about carcinogens!"

Hope that helps. I know how you feel, but try to refocus on the beauty in life. Everything causes cancer. Everything is a death trap. Death is part of life, but you need to LIVE your life. 
 

Originally Posted by mommy212 

I do think you need to chill a bit. It's all fine and good to be worried and care (and who doesn't?) but some thing you just need to let go. At least your child is not playing in puddles of horse manure or starving on a diet of gruel or something. And maybe it's not the most enlightened way to cheer yourself up but just think of the parents who don't even try- the ones whose babies eat cheap formula, white rice cereal, who live in their carseats 24/7, etc. Do what you can and let the rest go- including the carseat thing. There's a lot to worry about these days but you have to temper it or it will consume you! Some of the things I have just let go are the 'dangers' of soy products, that fact that not all my produce is organic (or my dairy products, though i try), and all my neighbors' kids (whom ds loves) playing with toy guns, fighting and drinking koolaid and candy all day long. Don't let your worries make you an unhappy, neurotic person!

[chrisnjeri]

Yes.  It is so easy to get consumed with this stuff.  I do try every day to just be appreciative of the beautiful souls in my life, but sometimes I just get overwhelmed with trying to make sure everything is, well, not perfect, but as close as I can get it.  I don't ever want to be the cause of harm to my little one, and it seems that if I know about something, I need to  try to do something about it. 

Thanks for the words, I think I'm gonna step back a bit. 

[Toposlonoshlep]

Again, I know how you feel. I felt that very same way, and I still have bad days. But remember, perfect is the enemy of good. We try our best, but we are human. And as humans, we evolve to deal with the things pinned against us in the world. Take a deep breath and know a whole lot of things are not at all in your control. But living in the moment is. Drink a cup of green tea and know you're doing your best, which IS perfect. 
 

Originally Posted by chrisnjeri 

Yes.  It is so easy to get consumed with this stuff.  I do try every day to just be appreciative of the beautiful souls in my life, but sometimes I just get overwhelmed with trying to make sure everything is, well, not perfect, but as close as I can get it.  I don't ever want to be the cause of harm to my little one, and it seems that if I know about something, I need to  try to do something about it. 

Thanks for the words, I think I'm gonna step back a bit. 

[Toposlonoshlep]

Also, this helps me to let go, and maybe it will help you. When I find myself getting carried away with these thoughts of what I could have done better for my son, I just imagine him in college. Or heck, in high school. Going through a drive-through with his friends (I am anti-fast food and we eat organic), smoking a cigarette or fifty, drinking beer, using some car chemical to clean or detail his car, etc. I am not always going to stand by him to make sure this stuff doesn't happen. I guide him the best I can, but kids DO grow up and live their own lives. The most devastating thing to them would be to have neurotic parents, right?

[1love4ever]

OP, I feel the same way you do, I really do!  I think and worry about this stuff all the time, and I am always signing petitions online and such to try to help but I just dont see any way around this stuff really.  I feel the same way about the carseat too, I dont know what to get that does not have this crap in it!  And I already spent a bunch on a carseat that I thought was good, so I cant just throw it out and get another even more expensive one!

I dont know if it would help at all, but I wash the removable foam in the washer, and use a small carpet cleaner on the rest.

This crap, and so many other toxins are in everything, your carpet, furniture, mattress, etc.  Not to worry you more, but its true.  I guess I find comfort in thinking that I was raised as a typical American kid is, and I am ok, certainly not perfect, but ok.  I feel that I am doing much better for my child already by not exposing her to toxic vaccines, food from cans, pesticides from non-organic foods, using filtered water, no GMO's, no artificial food coloring, etc, whereas my parents didnt do that for me.  So I guess I think to myself that DD will at least turn out as good as me but probably better because of all the things that I am doing "right" that my parents did "wrong"

I know thats probably a kinda screwed up way of thinking about things, but I guess its the only thing that I can find comfort in-focusing on what I am doing that is good