Baby Shower for 2nd baby?

[Amanda1]

I dont know if this is posted in the right place or not

I am wondering if it is normal for people to have a baby shower for 2nd, 3rd... babies?

I dont mean to judge, its just that I have been invited to a shower for a friend who has a 3 year old and a new baby and thought it was strange...until everyone told me its normal.

I just figured she should have most of the stuff already from baby #1 ?

What are your thoughts ladies?

[MoonWillow]

I think people have different philosophies about that. I was thrown a shower for my first but then not my second and it did make me feel kind of bad to be honest. Like the second didn't count as much as the first. I guess people figure that you already have everything you need or something but to me it felt like a slight at the time. 

[APToddlerMama]

I think there are times when it might be appropriate to have a second shower (ie. financial hardship, surprise baby and had gotten rid of baby stuff, wide gap between kids, etc), but for the most part, I guess I find it kind of tactless.  I was offered one this time around and thanked the person but said no.  I would have been really embarrassed to hit people up for gifts again three years later.  I think there are ways to do it as a celebration/no gifts type of event that would be much more acceptable and put less pressure on friends/family. 

[Hoopin' Mama]

I think a celebration for any baby is fine. Unless there is a huge age gap between the children, I think it's a good time to get creative with gifts and go in on a group gift - instead of all the baby needs, help the parents with their needs as they adjust to their growing family. I think certificates for take-out food, cleaning service, an extra carseat, a double stroller, or just a gift card for online diaper shopping are great ideas. Or simply just a celebration with food and no gifts.

Traditional etiquette may call for a shower for only the first baby. But I think celebrating a friend's pregnancy and upcoming birth is awesome regardless of how many kids.

[caseykn]

Originally Posted by Hoopin' Mama 

Traditional etiquette may call for a shower for only the first baby. But I think celebrating a friend's pregnancy and upcoming birth is awesome regardless of how many kids.

Yep, this. Evey pregnant mom is going through an amazing, life-changing event and every baby is worth celebrating. I didn't have a shower for my second baby and was a little sad about it. I didn't want/need a bunch of gifts but I did want my growing belly and new baby-to-be celebrated. I kind of felt like no one cared. My oldest daughter has things that are special to her because it's the baby sweater that my coworker knitted for her that we're keeping as a family heirloom, or the stuffed animal my friend gave her before she was born and now she sleeps with it every night. I feel sad for my second daughter that she doesn't have things with stories like that.

.

It even went so far that my mother-in-law, when DH asked her if she had made a quilt for the new baby, said "Oh I figured that since I made one for DD1 that the girls can just share it." So I'm supposed to take DD1's special blanket that grammy made her - the one that's been exclusively hers for almost 4 years- and now make her share it with the baby? Or tell DD2 when she's bigger that sister has one but not her because grammy didn't think she needed her own handmade quilt? Anyway, DH guilted her and she made a 2nd blanket.

[AnkaJones]

Maybe not a shower, but perhaps a Blessingway type thing to generate some positive vibes for the impending birth?

Anka

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

I've been invited to several second-baby showers; I guess it's pretty normal around here. I didn't want a shower for either of my kids (I hate being the centre of attention and HATED my wedding shower) but I know that there were things I would have loved as gifts when I was having my son because I wanted to do things differently - cloth diaper from birth, a better baby carrier, etc.

For a second shower, unless I know the couple wants something specifically, I usually give a gift certificate (to an awesome local consignment store) so that they can get stuff they really need.

[cat13]

It makes me sad to hear that it's considered tacky to have a baby shower after the first baby. I just had my first baby shower last month, and even though I wasn't really looking forward to it, I had so much fun and felt so much love from my community for this baby! Maybe it's also because my friends/family aren't big into gifts (I only got a few, and that was fine by me), it was more of a baby celebration. As a pregnant woman, I am always being judged for how I look, the health care choices I make, what I eat, how big/small I am... etc... it's just so nice to have an afternoon of appreciation and love for me and my baby.

And Caseykn, I'm glad your DH convinced his mom to make another blanket... that is the kind of stuff people keep their whole lives and is really special!

[JudiAU]

Traditional etiquette is that the mother has one shower to help her prepare for motherhood. It isn't a welcome baby party so much as a you need stuff to prepare for motherhood. Thus you have one, ever, unless for some reason there is a huge gap with the kids and you don't have anything still. Showers are gift-giving parties.

So no, I would never have or host a second shower because it looks greedy. I get wanting to welcome all babies into the world, hurrah, but it shouldn't be with a shower. Just choose another type of party, like coffee cake to see the baby, etc.

I do generally gift friends with gifts for later babies, but they aren't on the same scale as shower gifts.

[MsDolphin]

I have been invited to 2nd & 3rd child baby showers, I never even considered it tacky or greedy. I looked at it as a celebration for the new baby. I believe some people have a "diaper party" vs another baby shower.