What do you do with your toddler when trying to get baby to sleep?

[Dot-to-Dot]

My 2 month old will go down for naps just fine sometimes, but many times she needs rocking, patting, humming, etc before she can really get into the right space for drifting off to sleep.  The problem is, she'll just about be "there" and then my almost 2yr old dd runs in talking loudly, shrieking, banging something, closing and opening the door, etc and then baby wakes right up.  She leaves and baby drifts off again...then toddler is back.  It happens over and over and I spend HOURS trying to put the baby down.  If I could just get a solid 10 minutes, I could get her down and then be totally free to play with almost 2yr old dd!  I wish she understood this!

I've tried giving her a snack and some TV time, but she still just wanders in after me.  TV doesn't hold her attention.  I've tried giving her special toys that are only brought out when I go in to put baby down but with a frequently napping newborn sometimes the special toy was never put away from the first nap and it isn't special anymore. (messy logistics of a chaotic household of 2 under 2 I guess).  I've thought about putting her in her crib for a few minutes to keep her safe and out of trouble, but I think she'll throw a tantrum and feel isolated and left out.  I don't want her to think of her bed as punishment.

I would wear the baby for her naps but she doesn't nap very long in the carrier, spits up on me (excessive spitter-upper) and it just kills my back to try to do household things with her in the wrap or Ergo.  It's very uncomfortable for both of us unfortunately.  Not to mention it's 110 degrees outside (literally) and we get really sweaty.

Any ideas to keep toddler quiet while putting baby down?

[ZakareyasMama]

I'd like to know too... I babysit a 2.5 y/o and she always seems to scream *right* at the moment DS is about to hit the snoozer...

[amberskyfire]

I'm not yet in that boat, so I don't know if this will work, but what about reading? Could you read quietly in the bed with DD on one side and baby on the other and see if baby will fall asleep to the sound of your voice? It might take a few tries before baby gets used to it.

[malayasmommy]

I wish I had words of wisdom for you, but I more just want to let you know you're not alone!  I'm in the same boat right now and can't figure out how to keep my 3.5 year old quiet and entertained to get him to sleep--let alone get him to STAY asleep (we have a small, squeaky old house--no where for her to let out her energy when he does actually nap).  One idea I had was to have a reading time with both kiddos (to start some sort of routine), and then after the books are done put my 3.5 yr old in front of the TV.  It buys me a little time, and maybe with the quiet activity the baby will start to feel tired too.  I don't know...an idea...????  Good luck, I'll be checking in with your thread to see if any good ideas pop up for you too!

[noahs_wings]

my dd is 4, so i dont know if this will work with a younger one, but i let her choose a cd and we all listen to music while i put ds down by wearing hima nd bouncing on a yoga ball, then i put him in bed and dd and i sneak out. She knows that if he stays asleep me and her get to have alone time and do special projects so she stays pretty quiet for the most part. Or she reads books while i put him down.

DD has her own "cozy nest" toddler bed with canopy in ds's room where this happens.

o and also i have a loud air purifier on in ds's room while he sleeps.

[amberskyfire]

Lately, I have been getting some quiet time by letting DD listen to kids' stories on my MP3 player with headphones on. She sits perfectly still and quiet. I will also sometimes put her in the same room as me (so she doesn't feel the need to barge in loudly to see what I'm doing and make sure I'm paying attention to her) with a laptop, some headphones and a Kipper or Caillou video on Netflix. More than once, this has allowed me to get a few minutes of work done.

[Dot-to-Dot]

Thank you for all these suggestions, we're still working on it but this has been helpful.  Now the baby has taken to waking every 10 minutes requiring me to constantly up and leave dd when we're in the middle of something so I can go back in and pat LO back to sleep.  She wakes like this for hours until I give up and bring her on out to play with us....of course she yawns and drifts off to sleep the entire time, ha ha!  That is, until I try to lay her down somewhere - then she's wide awake again! 

Being so close in age, someday they'll be great playmates and play together nicely while I can take a shower....right guys??  Please say I'm right! 

[ms sig]

The only way our baby would go down for naps is by motion, which at home was often in the swing. It didn't require me taking time away from the toddler. But now, he's not very good with naps at all, possibly having been conditioned to just like motion sleep. Soo... probably not good to do it too long if you end up trying it. :)

[Chloe'sMama]

I would nurse DD2 to sleep while reading DD1 a book and then when DD2 was fast asleep, I may lay her down.

I also would read DD1 a book while nursing DD2 in bed and then roll off when she fell into a deep sleep. 

Good luck.  It gets easier.

[ZakareyasMama]

Okay so I did it today! DS was nursing and I could tell he was about to clonk. I very quietly told my toddler I babysit that he's sleeping and we have to be quiet. He will wake up if I talk too much, that's why reading her a book isn't an option. Anyway so I told her like ten time we have to be quiet. Finally once he was asleep I carried him upstairs to sleep and turned on the baby monitor and went back downstairs. She stayed in the highchair eating. She was pretty happy just siting there but also they have lots of books read on You Tube so I could have turned that on for her while I put him down, but then the noise of that may have woken him. Anyway... Woo hoo I managed it today

[Dot-to-Dot]

What are these books on youtube you speak of???  Maybe I could try that!  I can't leave her alone near my laptop because she will "type" until she damages the computer but I could put her in the high chair for a couple of "books" on youtube.  This is NOT how I envisioned parenting her.  But she wants mommy to play so badly and I simply can't when I have an unhappily wrapped baby in the moby or ergo.

I can't nurse my dd to sleep because of an excessive spit up issue.  She has to nurse upon waking and then use the next few hours to burp and spit up.  That's probably the root of our issue...she requires lots of help throughout her nap because she is uncomfortable (digestive wise) and I have to keep leaving the toddler while playing on order to soothe the baby. 

So I tried rocking baby while reading books to toddler.  Omg, it was a disaster!  She kept getting up and down off my lap and disturbing the baby then I would get a good soothing rhythm going in the rocking chair and toddler would get down and stand there with her toes under the rocker and I'd have to stop, gently asking her to scoot just a bit or stand back and after asking her to do that several times she'd get irritated that I keep wanting her to move this way or that.  Meanwhile, baby is wide awake and fidgeting and starting to cry since the soothing motion has stopped and toddler is getting louder.  Cue doorbell and dog barking.  Being in the thick of it and being sleep deprived, it made me cry I felt so damn helpless against these babies.  But, years in the future, I hope I'll look back and laugh.  It really was laughable (if you weren't the one doing it).

[ZakareyasMama]

Aww hugs Dot... Yes one day the three of y'all will have a laugh when you tell them how challenging they were!

The books I found on you tube were Eric Carle ones... The hungry caterpillar, the grouchy ladybug, etc. Just put in the title of the book and it should come up. It's just someone's voice and showing the pictures... No animation ( prob animation ones do exist though) it's sort of like modern day books on tape

You shouldn't feel bad at all... having two small ones is not as easy as it looks lol