Bedwetting is embarrassing to him. His younger sibling has more mastery of nighttime dryness. For the older child this is embarrassing. If he is struggling to wake you are creating animosity and negative feelings around this. The waking is a power struggle instead of backing off not thinking something is wrong/lazy about your son and letting him take the lead and control over his body. If he was agreeable to being woken, like your dd go for it, I would feel differently. But the battle he feels your resentment.
Well, perhaps. I don't think he's especially resentful of his sister waking up. They are very close developmentally and he's generally OK with her doing some things earlier and vice versa. He might feel bad, but if he does, he hasn't shown any signs of it - or embarrassment. He does show embarrassment quite readily for some other things, so we definitely are aware of that and try not to put him in any situations like that, but he really seems nonchalant (on the surface, anyway) about the peeing issues.
I don't think he's outright lazy as a character - but I do know that he doesn't enjoy getting up. He will say he doesn't feel like it and go right where he is, even if I wake him up first, sometimes. I get that when he's just woken out of sleep he might not be getting the full picture of what's going on. He might be half-dreaming for all I know.He most likely doesn't want to sleep in the wet bed - just does not wake up until he gets to cold from the urine, and sometimes not even that will wake him.
I don't think he wants to sleep in a wet bed - but he was the type of kid who didn't even mind sitting in wet pants when he was daytime training. He noticed it but said he didn't want to bother changing it sometimes. (Like, say, if he peed while having dinner, he didn't want to get up and change out of them before continuing dinner. Also, sometimes he will wake up and make his bed so that his blanket that he peed on (he has several he nestles between) is on top of him instead of under him. I don't know why?Have you ever thought of stacking sheets? rubber sheet, regular, another, then a regular sheet. He is 4.5 he can help you wash and make the bed.
He does both, willingly.
He's on laundry duty most days anyway.
He helps me with all the laundry.
Nighttime control is not like daytime control. His body could not be making enough ADH. He could have a sleep disorder. Does he sleep deep? Does he snore? Constipation? Did you read any of the other stuff? [/B]
Yes, I read the rest of it. He doesn't snore. He is a very light sleeper usually. He's never constipated. (I mean, never say never, but very rarely, I can't remember the last time he was.)You can use a dollar store curtain and towels as a drop cloth for the potty chair.
Well, we're staying with my mom in her house and I don't think that would go over well - plus the bathroom is literally next to his room, so the potty is only like a few feet further away. It's not a bad idea, generally, though.
You said you don't let him drink, often when parents mention this they often actively deny even a thirsty child. "It is after 6/7 no drinks for you." mentality that is hurtful and frustrating. Yes,even though some doctors recommending limiting drinks it isn't a agreed on thing. In the summer months, it can cause constipation if the child isn't getting enough during the day. Or if they have limited access to drinks at school. Making sure they are "watered" during the day prevents excessive thirst at night. This does reduce asking for drinks in the evening.
Well, I don't make it a power struggle... If he asks once, I remind him that it's almost bedtime, and offer him a hug or something instead, which he usually takes happily. If he asks a second time, or says he's thirsty (and not just looking for one more excuse to delay sleep!) then I'll give him a few sips. He gets tons to drink during the day and he never has trouble holding it.
Do you have other bed wetters in your family?
Nope, none. DH and I were both dry night and day before we were 2; no one else in our families have bed wetting issues that we know of.A 4.5 year old bed wetting is an inconvenience, not an issue. Please accept your child is not doing this to annoy you or because he is lazy or because it doesn't both him that he wakes up wet.
Well, I wouldn't consider it a life-and-death issue. I would like to curb it a little for my sanity but I'm not losing any sleep over it - well, minus the brief periods when I have to change his sheets - but other than that, no.
Denial can be a coping strategy for him.
That is true.He feels your animosity over the sheets and you feeling he "goes" on the sheets.
Wait, what? I'm not following. He does "go" on the sheets, but I think animosity is a bit of a harsh term. Frustration, OK. Animosity? Not so much...You may not be doing it on purpose, but your words feel like you hold him at fault verses this being something that just is.
Ack... well, I do feel that I'm very accepting when it comes to my kids' development generally. We have done child-led everything, pretty much. I'm not up in arms over his nighttime habits, I just wanted to see if there was something I could do to help make his and my nighttimes easier. I'm not calling him abnormal or anything.
Anyway, thank you for responding. I hope I don't sound belligerent in my replies. I do appreciate the links and all the rest of the replies you've taken out to write.