When do you tell people?

[amberskyfire]

I lost my first three babies and by the fourth (who is now a rambunctious 3 year old) I had not only completely lost all ability to get excited, I didn't even tell people until really late in my pregnancy. My "safe" date to tell others is now 16 weeks which, needless to say, gets family pretty angry at us but I just can't bear them knowing about all of my losses and the awful interrogations that go with each one.

So what about you all? When do you tell?

[akind1]

We've never been able to hold it in for long . . . but we've not had any losses either.  With this pregnancy, because it's our second, we didn't tell the whole world at once, like we did with our first. it kind of trickled out, and even now - at 33 weeks pregnant! - some people say they didn't know! I told my boss pretty early, because she and I are on good terms and I think it's just courteous to let her know what all the time off for appt's is about.

the rest of my coworkes it was probably close to 20 weeks, partly because our supervisor lost her baby at 22 weeks earlier this year and I was trying to be sensitive to that.

Facebook . . . I think it leaked out around 12 weeks. meant to hold it in longer, but other friends were announcing their pregnancies (due about the same time as me) and in my congrats I told them about our pregnancy, and well . . .you know.

it really is up to your comfort level. for me, most of the people I tell early are the ones whose support I'd rely on IF there were a loss, so I'd still tell them (my mom, my BFF, for example)

[Adaline'sMama]

I tell family and close friends around 8 weeks, and the whole world at 12.

[coldandsleepy]

With my first pregnancy, I think I told most people fairly early... by 10 or 12 weeks.  Some earlier.  I was really, really debilitatingly sick with morning sickness and I felt like I had to disclose it to a lot of people I otherwise might not because otherwise my behavior/sudden flakiness was just inexplicable and inexcusable.

I'm a little over 17 weeks now and the only people I've told IRL are my family and a couple of close friends.  The majority of my friends don't know, facebook certainly doesn't know, and my co-workers don't know.  (Though I am going to tell them soon.  I was hoping to wait til after my 20 week scan but at the rate my uterus is suddenly expanding, I don't think that's going to fly.)

16 weeks doesn't sound bad to me at all for waiting to tell, especially if you have a history of loss!  I think your family just has to deal with it.  :P

[Abraisme]

I tell people right away at 4-6 weeks.  I have never had a loss, which may have likely effected when I told people.