Jealousy in 18 month old

[sarahr]

My 18 month old DS is insanely jealous of his big sister. He can be playing happily on his own, but the minute DD comes over for a cuddle or to read a book or for any sort of attention, he follows and tries to push her off my lap or throws himself at me to nurse. I hate that DD doesn't get as much physical attention as she should. Any ideas of how to cure the jealousy? He gets lots of individual attention in the mornings, when DD is in school.

[foreverinbluejeans]

Jealousy is such an ugly word. Using negative words can lead to having negative feelings about what someone is doing or about that person. It isn't fair to call what your little guy is doing jealousy. It's normal behavior. An 18 month old can't be expected to play well on their own for long.  I think you will find that if you make room for both of them that he will stop feeling the need to rush in when he sees his sister with you.

I'm a grandma and I can get multiple kids, dogs, and cats on my lap and make everyone happy. I was a single mom with 3 sons and made a point of letting them know I had plenty of me to take care of all of them all at once no matter what. I didn't worry about individual attention, I was more concerned about family harmony. Just because a young child gets individual attention part of the day doesn't mean they will remember and not want attention other parts of the day.

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

Maybe jealousy is an ugly word, but I hear what the OP is saying and I have seen it with my own child when I have held my friend's baby.  I agree that this behavior is not acceptable and can create negative feelings both in the parent and in the older child. As nice as it would be to just always give attention to both kids at once, that isn't really fair to the older child who should be able to get at least a little one on one time. I don't have any advice for you OP, but I am curious to know about what others have done in this situation because DH and I are currently TTC.

[sarahr]

Even if it's normal behavior -- which I'm sure it is -- it's still jealousy. And, yes, I can fit them both on my lap (although then they fight about where each are sitting), but dd (who hasn't seen me all day because she's been at school) doesn't get any individual cuddle time. So I was looking for ideas of how to give *her* what she needs.

[stephbrownthinks]

can you put your DS to bed a little bit before your DD and spend some quality time with just her? That was my only thought:)

[Ash Q]

Hi Sarah,

Hoping you DS is doing better now. I am super curious to find out how is the relationship between you DD and DS now because I am in the exact same dilemma. My 18 months old DS is very relax and calm otherwise but as soon as my DD wants some one on one time he becomes Mr. Jealous. I am hoping it gets better with time. They play and hug each other and everything but when it comes to sharing mum or dad he is just not up for it !!!

Any support in this tight situation will be helpful.