Switching schools, 3rd grade, sensitive shy girl

[laila2]

We did not move, but switched due to liking the other school in the area better.  I have my reasons that would make this thread very long. 

It is only the second day of school, so early to panic, but my DD is very shy and introverted.  I want to volunteer and she wants to do sports, but are there other great ways to help her make friends?  She is upset.  She left lots of friends at her other school.  Her Birthday is coming up fast.  How do I encourage her to invite some from her new class, without being nosy etc.

[ollyoxenfree]

Speak with her teacher about finding a couple of "buddies" from the class as guides to find her away around the school, take her to the lunchroom, etc. and generally help her out for the first couple of weeks until she settles in.  

Find out if there are any other new students with whom she might bond over their shared experience.  

If there are there some co-corriculars starting, she'll probably make new friends fairly quickly  by joining - library club, games club, choir etc. 

If you can manage it, hang around a little before and after school and scope out her classmates a little. You may recognize a kindred spirit (like the kid carrying a dog-eared copy of your dd's favourite book). Chat up the moms a little too. If she sees how you are making new friends, it might help her to do the same. After, you can talk with her about and share how you feel and role play with her, so she can try out some different approaches to the other students. 

Best wishes to her - and to you. I know it isn't easy watching your little one trying to fit in and make new friends. 

[meemee]

can you volunteer close to lunch? so you can spend lunch with her (if she is willing to let you) and then you can go to the playground with her and see the kids out of the classroom.

i think YOU volunteering are the key. when dd changed in first grade i volunteered a lot at her class and i helped the kids with homework corrections. i loved it myself - had a GREAT time seeing the true character of the kids and the children had something to say to dd about 'your mom'.

hopefully time will introduce new friends. 

one thing to keep an eye on is to make sure she is not being teased. i found the girls in our 3rd grade class v. v. catty. i am not sure if that is true everywhere but its true in the few schools i know of.  i see some of the 9 and 10 year old girls at dd's camp and oh boy. 

asking the teacher to keep an eye on her is a great idea and she should have already assigned a buddy to help her. 

[Linda on the move]

Is there a girl scout troop through school? This is usually a great way to make friends.  And they usually need more adults! If there isn't a troop, you could start one.

As far as her birthday, if she enjoys being invited to other people's parties, point that out to her.

If she doesn't enjoy being invited to other people's parties (one of my DDs is very shy and quiet and doesn't enjoy parties) just invite 3 other girls and do something like paint your own pottery. Not all kids like the noise and bustle of standard parties.