Deciding whether to hs -for ds or for me?

[merebella]

So, my ds is only 2.5, so this is not a pressing concern, but people keep asking me about if I'm putting him in preschool this year, and if not, assuming I will do so next year, and my only response so far is that I say that I'm not anxious to hurry him into school, that I really enjoy having him at home.  It really bugs, me, actually, the mentality that as soon as you are having another baby, (which we are) you should push your first baby out the door with mother's day out or preschool or *something* other than your home....I *like* my child and enjoy all the time we get to spend together! 

Anyway, dh and I are considering hs, at least for kgarten, and I was just wondering how you decide that it's the very best thing for your family and your child, and not just you not wanting to let go as a mom. Granted, he's only 2.5, so I am not at the stage of needing to send him anywhere, but the thought of him leaving all day, or even half the day to go to kgarten, makes me so sad/upset, that I can't even fathom it.  Will I know when the time comes if it's a decision that I'm making for him or for me?  I know that early motherhood is a balance of guarding and letting go, will I know if it's fear of him growing up that is motivating me?

Would love to hear the thoughts of those who have been there, or are going through this decision now.  Thanks!

[SweetSilver]

Originally Posted by merebella 

Will I know when the time comes if it's a decision that I'm making for him or for me?  I know that early motherhood is a balance of guarding and letting go, will I know if it's fear of him growing up that is motivating me?

Would love to hear the thoughts of those who have been there, or are going through this decision now.  Thanks!

There will be a moment when you *know* that this is the right thing for your son.  And for you.  This does not need to be a selfless choice!

I am a big fan of delayed academics, and for me to see my young kids knee deep in dirt making "cheesecakes" and long, lazy mornings reading library books instead of getting pushed out the door in the morning, I know this is right.  Now, and for now, we are unschoolers.  That same confidence that my kids are learning what they need to know just in the daily comings and goings of life adds to my feeling of "this is perfect for them."  

I'm not sure if this is the exact feeling you are wondering about.  For us it's not just that we are homeschooling, but that we are doing it in the way we feel is best for our family.  A way that cannot be offered by any school.  That it extends the bond I feel with my girls is not a bad thing.  Certainly I wouldn't do it if only benefited me and not them, but that's the beauty of it.  It can be--and hopefully will be-- a benefit to everyone in your family.
 

[pigpokey]

2.5, and 6 are really quite different.

You have another parenting lifetime to go and your child will have changed a lot.

Evaluate school for its educational potential for your child, is my advice.  Evaluate what your child's life would be like out of full day school.  I think my children's lives are much richer and they are not subjected to the things about school that were a waste of time for me ... but all the benefits of school we are able to get through sports, participation in the arts, &etc.

Your feelings that you shouldn't send your child away are probably simply your sum total experience that your child will learn and grow as a person better without separation at this time.