Losing Apartment...

[bambii22]

So. okay. The last time I posted was when I felt like I were in a crisis but tried to make it seem as upbeat as possible. Anyway, heres the deal: Myself, LO and fiance were bouncing from place to place. SO didn't have a job and neither did I. Because I have an income and am/was breastfeeding, we decided that i would stay home with our little guy. SO finally got a job and the first cheap place i found that sounded like it could fit us, we jumped at it. We're a young couple, in our early 20's. The plan was that while he was working i was going to go to school. That plan fell apart when he lost his job. We have a car, that we really need and have to keep insurance on.  Our landlord has been talking to our neighbors about us and has been leaving notes on our door. My phone has been disconnected so we haven't been able to get any important phone calls, from him or anyone. We're moving out because we really cant afford it anymore and the apartment and building have a lot of problems. So far, we've been putting in job applications wherever we can and have been arranging somewhere to stay until we can get back on our feet. I'm freaking out. My fiance at times feels like really shaky ground. He has a drinking problem that really scares me sometimes. I'm afraid that if his drinking gets out of control he'll lose sight of what we have and what we've been working towards. The reason why he lost his job was because he left the store to go to the liquor store :/ :( I get upset whenever he goes there or whenever hes drinking. All i can think is, "this is the very reason you lost your job." IDK. What can i do? What Should I do? We're going to be staying with his parents for a little bit. But even that may not work out. They're great and I love them. They don't like that we (SO and I) fight, when we do. It does get ugly. IDK. Please help. I really could use some advice.

Thanks so much for taking the time.

[meetoo]

It sounds to me like you should leave your partner. You can not have a relationship with someone that has addictions. I would try to move back in with your family and get on your feet without him. If/when he gets clean you can worry about your relationship. For now you need to focus on you and your baby. Have you gone down to social services to apply for aide? 

[caiesmommy]

Have you looked into Al-anon? Honestly I think you should. My dh is a recovering addict, sober 10m(booze is his choice but hed take what he can get...& your s/o is prob the same, you may not notice). They'll help you w-out being judgemental or pushy. And sometimes its nice just to get out amongst "survivers". 

You have to do whats best for you and your lo. And the best thing for you to do is take care of yourself

[teraze]

How awful and scary - I'm so sorry for you, gosh, and your babe.  I'd take the advice of the both the previous posters.  Leaving him, look into aid, and al-anon.  You can do it mama.

My very best wishes to you.

[gitanamama]

Sorry you're in such a rough spot mama. I know how scary and overwhelming these issues are! Are there services available to you where you live (food stamps, rent assistance, etc.)? Or do you have family you can stay with for awhile? It sounds like your situation is really stressful, which probably just contributes to your partner's drinking. And it also sounds like he has a serious drinking problem and will probably need some professional help (counseling, AA, etc.) to work through it. Perhaps you guys could take some space and try to get on more solid ground. I agree that you should check out al-anon and maybe even see a counselor. Hopefully your SO will also seek help with his addiction and you guys will be able to move forward together from a more solid space. I agree with Caiesmommy that you have put yourself and your LO above all else right now and make sure you're safe and taken care of. Best of luck and lots of supportive thoughts headed your way.

[swd12422]

Al-Anon. And leave him if he refuses help for himself. You don't need that kind of mess on top of being young, in school, out of work, and a new mom. Simplify as much as you can, even if that means you're on your own instead of dealing with his burden. You and your LO are the priority, not him and his drinking problem.