The thread about celebrating newfound single freedom got me thinking-- why am I not feeling it? I had STBX removed from the marital home 3 months ago for domestic violence. He is staying elsewhere, but most of his stuff is still here, and it is his earnings that pay the bills (in the form of court-ordered maintenance and child support). He is in a non-voluntary treatment program for domestic violence and sees the kids only supervised visitation, so i have the care of them 24/7, same as before. He worked and was away a lot, so I am used to being by myself. We homeschool, and I am still planning to stay home with the kids this year, and also getting my ducks in a row to apply to grad school, so I can become self-supporting in the future. I helped him to build his career, so I think I am owed support for at least a while.
We haven't done the dividing of the things. I am still wearing the ring. The kids and extended family are all hoping that we will reconcile and he will get to come home in a few months. This would require an entire psychic change on his part; so far he is still denying the abuse and blaming me for the situation. Other than money being tighter and our future more uncertain, the only change is that he is not here. I don't miss him at all, which surprised me and maybe goes to show how much our relationship had deteriorated, but I don't really feel free, either. I have been hoping for a long separation so the kids and I can stay put for as long as possible. Now I am wondering if that puts me in emotional limbo. Feedback, anyone?