DD hates facing me in mei tai--legs spread too wide?

[Blanca78]

I just got a mei tai (Infantino brand--don't hate me! It was $10 on eBay and I wanted to try a mei tai before investing $80) and I love the carrier--it is SO much better on my back than the Baby Bjorn I was using (a hand me down :)). But my 4-month-old DD started screaming when I put her in facing me (she also doesn't really like facing me in the Bjorn but will tolerate it when sleepy and then drift off; this time went beyond fussing, though). I'm wondering if it is spreading her legs TOO wide and maybe was uncomfortable for her?

I put her facing out and she seemed perfectly content. This particular carrier comes with a strap for bunching up the bottom when they're facing out, and while she was happy, I worry about the crotch-dangle aspect, because it seems narrower than the Bjorn when bunched up.

Has anyone else had a DC who hated facing inward but was too young to ride on your back (I have a feeling she won't like that, either)? What did you do? Anyone else have concerns that a carrier may be spreading your kid's legs uncomfortably wide?

[bwaybaby918]

I'm wasn't aware that the Infantino Wrap & Tie allowed for cinching the bottom...

Hard to say about her legs being too wide without a picture, but it could be.  Mei tais are hard with tiny ones, unless you (1) froggy their legs in (but you really have to get a real froggy position, with no pressure on their legs...knees higher than bottom, etc.) or (2) scrunch/cinch the bottom a bit, so legs can be out in a good seat (you have to make sure it's not TOO cinched/scrunched, and that it's still giving knee to knee support, with bottom sitting well in the seat of the carreir).  I don't know anything about the Infantino brand, so it's hard to tell, but I'm just going on tiny babies in mei tais.

I'm not sure how big your daughter is, but usually by 4 months, they're not froggy-ing so much anymore.  If you can adjust the width of the seat, try fiddling with that in a facing in position.  The other thing you can do with a mei tai, that I don't know if you can do with the Infantino, but you can try, is to fold the bottom up a bit, to shorten the height of the carrier.  I don't know if that's the problem, but maybe she doesn't like being swallowed up by the back of the carrier in a facing in position?  It looks like a very wide and tall design on the website, so you might have to try to tweak it if you can.

HTH!

[Blanca78]

Thank you. This is super super helpful! I think I may try cinching it in a bit and see if it makes a difference. DD is not a small baby. I'm not sure her height/weight right now but she was in the 70th for weight at 9 weeks and she's gotten a lot taller since then. In fact, her head pokes up over the top of the carrier enough that I find myself wishing it had a sleeping hood attachment.

I hope I can get her used to being carried facing me or my back, as I was counting on being able to use the Patapum I got for when she's a bit older--hope my fantasy of taking her on long hikes on my back don't go up in smoke!

[indigosky]

My DD also despised being worn face-in when she was that age -- she wanted to desperately to be able to SEE everything! I felt guilty because I know there some who believe -- and teach -- that's it's not healthy for young babies to face out, that it exposes them to too much.

I ended up wearing her face-out, upright, on my front in a Moby Wrap a lot -- that turned out to be our favorite of all the carriers I tried/owned, until she was big enough for an Ergo on my back. The Moby took some practice, but once I had the hang of it and improved my technique, it was fantastic for us.

[Blanca78]

So did she ever grow out of her dislike of facing you? I don't buy the "not healthy" argument, really, because mine is so content facing out. I don't think she'd fuss the other way and then stop fussing when I face her out if it was a problem for her. But I would still like her to face me sometimes because I was counting on it for naps!

Did your DD enjoy being on your back in the Ergo? The Patapum, which I have, is supposed to be really similar so I hope it works out.

I do have a Moby but had kinda given up on it because it hurt my back and she didn't seem to like being wrapped so close, but we haven't tried facing out yet. In the meantime, I have been using the Infantino Wrap & Tie with her facing out and she seems to like it, though there's still the crotch dangle issue and it would be more comfortable for me if I didn't have to cinch it in (the waistband would lie flatter and be more supportive).
 

Originally Posted by indigosky 

My DD also despised being worn face-in when she was that age -- she wanted to desperately to be able to SEE everything! I felt guilty because I know there some who believe -- and teach -- that's it's not healthy for young babies to face out, that it exposes them to too much.

I ended up wearing her face-out, upright, on my front in a Moby Wrap a lot -- that turned out to be our favorite of all the carriers I tried/owned, until she was big enough for an Ergo on my back. The Moby took some practice, but once I had the hang of it and improved my technique, it was fantastic for us.

[TiffanyToo]

As baby matures she will grow past this stage. She is at an age where the little ones want to see. They do however need to filter information, re-organize and to sleep comfortably hip and back carries give baby the information she wants with the ability to snuggle down and off information.

You might want to consider a carrier that will allow you to carry her on back or in a hip carry.

 Here is a link for many DIY carrier projects. http://www.sleepingbaby.net/jan/Baby/asian.html 

I made a Ball Baby Overall for about $25.00 that was 4 years ago, we still use it. Stacy's styling Mei Tai looks like the seat might gather in on itself allowing for  ayounger baby to ride comfortably in it.

[Blanca78]

Thanks, I look forward to trying her in a back carry when she's a little bit older!
 

Originally Posted by TiffanyToo 

As baby matures she will grow past this stage. She is at an age where the little ones want to see. They do however need to filter information, re-organize and to sleep comfortably hip and back carries give baby the information she wants with the ability to snuggle down and off information.

You might want to consider a carrier that will allow you to carry her on back or in a hip carry.

 Here is a link for many DIY carrier projects. http://www.sleepingbaby.net/jan/Baby/asian.html 

I made a Ball Baby Overall for about $25.00 that was 4 years ago, we still use it. Stacy's styling Mei Tai looks like the seat might gather in on itself allowing for  ayounger baby to ride comfortably in it.

[TiffanyToo]

If you have a well made mei tai, German style woven wrap or soft structured carrier she can be worn on back now.

The reccomendation for back carries starts at about 4 months.

Here is a link for baby wearing groups maybe there is one near you. Hopefully that is the case and you can learn the different carriers and how to use them, without the expense.

http://www.sakurabloom.com/pages/Babywearing-Groups.html