Being pregnant and dealing with a toddler - How do you keep stress level down?

[SilverMoon010]

My little guy is 3 years old.  It is an awesome age but at the same time it is a challenging one.  My DS is a very active boy, gets into everything, and doesn't particularly like to listen to mommy sometimes.  I notice I get pretty stressed out some days where I want to pull my hair out, but at the same time, especially being pregnant, I really need (and want) to keep my stress level down.  Anyone have any tips? I exercise daily and that seems to help a tad. I just need to know how to channel my stress in the moment, when he is driving me completely insane! 

[1love4ever]

I feel the same way, execpt DD is 18 months old.  She is the most active and demanding kid that I know and does not like to listen to me.  Exercising helps me too.  It is my break while she is awake.  I just put her in her stroller and go for a 30min walk every evening.  But other than that I have no idea, I would like to hear what other people have to say!

I do enjoy my prenatal yoga too actually but never have time to do it and by the time DD goes to sleep at night I am too tired to want to do it anyway, although when I make myself it really is not hard and makes me feel a lot better.  I have Shiva Reas DVD.

[SilverMoon010]

1love4ever: It's so nice to hear I am not alone.  Sometimes I feel like I am the only one going through this! How far along are you? Hopefully, when I'm further into the second trimester, things will settle down for me a bit and I will feel better and less tired. I'm hoping that will help with my patience too.

[berry987]

Make sure you get your sleep. That's all that seems to help me much. Although I am not dealing particularly well this pregnancy - exhaustion and stress is an understatement. Just trying to keep it in perspective, realize it will be over soon and at least I'll be working with a full deck (as opposed to my physically challenged self at 29 wks pregnant!)

[1love4ever]

I agree with the PP about getting enough sleep too!  That is one thing I really need to get better about doing.  It seems like there is a never ending amount of chores to do, and I also like to have time to myself, and how I make room for all that is by cutting out sleep.  Stupid I know!

I am 28.5 weeks pregnant with a little boy!  After the first trimester it did get better for me because I was not as tired all the time, but then as I began to grow larger my belly is always getting in the way and it is restrictive of my movements, I can not bend down as readily as I used to, and it is harder to carry DD.  The extra weight also makes my hips and sometimes my legs and feet hurt towards the end of the day but I still have to take care of DD, DH is gone for work most of the time so I dont have any help really.

I totally know how you feel when you say that you feel like you are the only one, and you certainly are not!  I really feel like no one understands, not even DH.  He doesnt really see how the pregnancy makes me more tired or anything, probably because I dont act like it, so he just assumes everything is just as easy as when I was not pregnant(not that is was easy then either!).  Sometimes I daydream about hiring a nanny or housekeeper:)   That would be awesome lol, but will not happen!

[SilverMoon010]

I feel like I am getting my sleep, but maybe it's not enough.  After all, I do get up three or four times during the night to go to the bathroom! 

I've been noticing when I feel stressed out or frustrated by DS or whatever else, I have more cramping.  No bleeding, and the cramps aren't severe, just higher intensity.  Has anyone else had this, or noticed something like that? I'm wondering if it's my muscles contracting due to the tension.  It's just about every time I feel stressed it happens too.  Once I get the more cramping, I then stress about the effects the stress is having on the baby Stress on stress! I just have been feeling so stressed out these days and I'm finding it hard to control for some reason. Maybe a part of the hormones? Or is it possibly due to being pregnant with a toddler at home with you

[sarah_bella1050]

-Excercise (I get 2 hours of childcare a day included in my gym membership, what a bargain!)

-Naps (his and yours)

-T.V time We are almost t.v. free except for educational movies and the occassional treat, but I try to loosen up a bit when pregnant and tired.  Seriously a bit of t.v. is less harmful then a mom who is yelling and frustrated all the time! (Hulu has some great cartoons if you don't have a t.v.)

-Walks with toddler in stroller (can even bring headphones to drown out their constant chatter)

-Have an older kid 6-12 come over and play with your toddler.  You can even give em a few bucks even though they'de do it for a cookie LOL.

-Playdates (especially if there are a few older kids too) you can sit on the couch yacking while the kids play!

-Have a special stash of art supplies and activities to pull out when you are feeling frustrated.  Crayola makes those no mess ones that won't color on anything but the paper which is great to be able to give you kid and be able to walk into the next room without fear.  Mr. Potato head is a good one as well as playdough and lacing beads.

-Buy good snack (a kid with a full mouth is a a quit kid LOL)

-Remember a happy mom is more important then one who does everything "perfect".  If you are happy, your children will be too.

And for mama, try to nap if you get the chance, drink lots of water (that may be the cause of your BH), and eat tons of protien (your blood sugar being off can cause a short temper).  Hope this helps, good luck with you pregnancy and sanity!

[Mummoth]

This is not a solution for everyone, because they're one of those hot topics... but when I was pregnant with DD, I got a harness for DS. He was 2 1/2 and didn't like the stroller anymore. One day he bolted and when I took off after him, I felt DD sort of slam down inside of me... a difficult feeling to describe... anyway, it set off contractions for a while and that scared me into starting to use a harness. He actually loved it... it gave him more freedom than holding my hand everywhere and I felt confident taking him out, so we went out a lot! Letting him run around at the park burned off a lot of his energy and the fresh air and other moms to talk to did me some good, too.

[1love4ever]

Originally Posted by SilverMoon010 

I feel like I am getting my sleep, but maybe it's not enough.  After all, I do get up three or four times during the night to go to the bathroom! 

I've been noticing when I feel stressed out or frustrated by DS or whatever else, I have more cramping.  No bleeding, and the cramps aren't severe, just higher intensity.  Has anyone else had this, or noticed something like that? I'm wondering if it's my muscles contracting due to the tension.  It's just about every time I feel stressed it happens too.  Once I get the more cramping, I then stress about the effects the stress is having on the baby Stress on stress! I just have been feeling so stressed out these days and I'm finding it hard to control for some reason. Maybe a part of the hormones? Or is it possibly due to being pregnant with a toddler at home with you

There have been times where I have been extremely stressed to the point of bawling and I have never had any cramping but that is just me, every woman is different.  I never had any BH in my last pregnancy either, not even the last week of pregnancy or anything.  I have also heard that if you have already been pregnant, the BH are worse(or you have them when you didnt have them last time) the second time, and worse yet the third and so on.

Originally Posted by sarah_bella1050 

-Excercise (I get 2 hours of childcare a day included in my gym membership, what a bargain!)

-Naps (his and yours)

-T.V time We are almost t.v. free except for educational movies and the occassional treat, but I try to loosen up a bit when pregnant and tired.  Seriously a bit of t.v. is less harmful then a mom who is yelling and frustrated all the time! (Hulu has some great cartoons if you don't have a t.v.)

-Walks with toddler in stroller (can even bring headphones to drown out their constant chatter)

-Have an older kid 6-12 come over and play with your toddler.  You can even give em a few bucks even though they'de do it for a cookie LOL.

-Playdates (especially if there are a few older kids too) you can sit on the couch yacking while the kids play!

-Have a special stash of art supplies and activities to pull out when you are feeling frustrated.  Crayola makes those no mess ones that won't color on anything but the paper which is great to be able to give you kid and be able to walk into the next room without fear.  Mr. Potato head is a good one as well as playdough and lacing beads.

-Buy good snack (a kid with a full mouth is a a quit kid LOL)

-Remember a happy mom is more important then one who does everything "perfect".  If you are happy, your children will be too.

And for mama, try to nap if you get the chance, drink lots of water (that may be the cause of your BH), and eat tons of protien (your blood sugar being off can cause a short temper).  Hope this helps, good luck with you pregnancy and sanity!

Very good ideas!  What are some good cartoons on Hulu?

Something that helps with my well being and stress level is having a break from DD(and DH lol!).  I usually only get breaks when DD is napping or after she goes to bed at night, and like i had said before I do tend to stay up too late in order to get some time to myself.  But, if this is not enough for you, or you feel like you are just sick of DS(it sounds terrible to say it that way but it happens!  Sometimes when DD has been particularly difficult for a few days I need more of a break so if DH is around I will tell him to take her to the park and I stay home and just do whatever).
then maybe you should find someone to take him for a little while during the day, even just once in a month helps me!  Even better though, maybe a night away from DS (just you, or you and DH) would be a good idea, whether that would be him staying with a family member, or someone staying with him at your house while you went somewhere, maybe even out of town.

In my situation, I can not leave DD because I have no one to watch her for more than a few hours, and she would not do well away from me overnight.  But if you have someone who could do this for you, maybe even your husband, I think it would be a great idea!

Noise does certainly add to stress levels, so try to keep things quiet- turn the TV down or off, turn off the A/C, air purifiers, etc for a few hours, maybe have a time every day when you sit down with DS and just read to him while everything else is quiet, and if he wont be quiet, give him some raisins or blueberries or something to snack on and just read quietly to him.  Snuggling him while you read can also be comforting and stress relieving for you too.

Anyway, I know it is a moms instinct to do everything for everyone else and put herself last, but not everyone can do that 24/7, you need to take time for yourself!

[SilverMoon010]

These are all great ideas! Unfortunately, DS is no longer napping. I was hoping he'd be napping until he was 5! To add to my stress, I work from home too, and it's tough to juggle it all.  I will surely try to find more time for myself.  I do have DH take DS out sometimes when I need a break, but I don't think I do it as much as I should because I tend to feel guilty for some reason.

Is it really BH I'm having? I didn't even think of that and didn't even know you would feel them this early. Could they be related to the stress? I don't remember having them with DS too much. I'm drinking lots of water so that can't be it.

[1love4ever]

how far along are you?  BH actually start from the time you get pregnant til you give birth, some women just feel them differently than others.  I would imagine this is what your pain is but  I would certainly mention it to your midwife or Dr. 

[sarah_bella1050]

1love4ever-They actually change their cartoons around and get new ones all the time.  When I was in\ my first tri my gilrs watched Madeline, Hello Kitty and some old productions of Sleeping Beauty and Snow White.  I would have them sit with me in the living room while I napped on the couch every afternoon LOL.

[1love4ever]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarah_bella1050 

1love4ever-They actually change their cartoons around and get new ones all the time.  When I was in\ my first tri my gilrs watched Madeline, Hello Kitty and some old productions of Sleeping Beauty and Snow White.  I would have them sit with me in the living room while I napped on the couch every afternoon LOL.

O that is neat, I did not know that Hulu did that, but I never really looked into it:)

I really try to avoid all the ridiculous TV commericals because I dont want DD thinking and wanting all of those things.  The new Loony Toons,  Tom and Jerry's, Scooby Doo's, etc really annoy me too, I wish they still played the old cartoons that we grew up watching!   The other day Loony Toons was about Daffy Duck finding a girlfriend and their dates.  I have thought about buying the old cartoons on DVD:)

Thanks!