*I didn't think this would be so long... but I suppose after a year of dealing with it I needed to let it all out*
My DD1 is 4. She is an energetic, feisty, sweet kid. Our neighbour ) has a 3 year old, "NG" (neighbour girl. Also very energetic but also aggressive. Every night after dinner everyone with kids goes out and plays on our neighbour's front lawn. It is great all the kids play together and the parents chat.
Here is a bit of background on the parenting at NGs house:
NGs mom also has a 15 month old (like me). She will often stop watching him for 5-10 minutes at a time. Last week he went on the road 5 times. Our street isn't busy but it isn't a quiet cul-de-sac either. One day he was 10 houses down almost at the main road. Mom has ADHD so maybe this is why she has a hard time keeping track of the baby. They are go go go. She is always trying to get them to do stuff so that they are entertained and she doesn't have to deal with them - she has told me this herself. She works full-time and finds even just the two hours at the end of the day a lot to deal with. I have never seen her talk to NG and explain things to her. It is usually just telling her what they are going to do next. They are very mainstream... CIO, but no real discipline (GD or mainstream) at least nothing consistent. Mom reads a lot of parenting books - she even enjoyed Playful Parenting but I didn't see her trying any techniques. She has a lot of good intentions IMO but really struggles with implementation. Although we are really different we have found it good to have each other to talk to about the ins and outs of parenting.
Anyways I guess that gives a bit of background on that.
So ever since we met NG (a year ago) she has hit, scratched and bit my DD. Usually at least twice overtime we see her. At first I didn't think anything of it, because it is a normal behaviour. After a year it is not getting any better. My DD now gets really upset when it happens... and now NGs Dad is making comments about my DD being overly sensitive. Sometimes NG will literally attack my DD for no reason. They are just playing and NG will suddenly push her down, throw a rock at her etc.. and then NG will laugh! My DD will run away crying. I have told DD she needs to say "stop" and "I don't like it when you X me". But DD just gets too upset now. By the time she is not upset anymore NG has forgotten about the whole thing. When her Dad sees it happen he immediately tells NG to apologize and give a hug. Basically now NG will hurt my DD and immediately say sorry (which she clearly doesn't mean) and think all is OK. Her parents NEVER ever talk to her about it other then to say to her "Did you hit" and then tell her to say sorry. They never get down on her level and talk about it... I am all about GD but when something is this big of a problem they need to do something. I guess if it were me I would just take NG inside and talk to her about it. When she was really ready to apologize we would go back outside.
Often when her mom hears my DD crying she just acts like my DD is being sensitive and overreacting. It is like she is in denial about how much her DD is hurting my DD (and apparently other kids at her daycare).
So I guess my thoughts are:
1./ Try and watch DD and NG more closely, so when DD does get hurt or I see it happening I know 100% what happened.
But after that I am not sure.... NG does NOT listen. I have tried many times to talk to her (about other fun things) and she won't let me get through half a sentence - I teach kids her age dance so I feel like I have a good grasp on talking to 3 year olds. ;) One day she threw a rock at my 14 month old and I said to her "NG!! We do not throw rocks. That could of hit DD2". She just looked at me like I was crazy and ran away laughing.
I would love some tips - on dealing with NG. I am a very non-confrontational person. My neighbour is very confrontational... but I have seen that while she can dish out the advice, it does not go well when someone else gives it. I feel like it is best to deal with NG on my own rather then talking to the mom.
Just one more thing.... My DD had had it with NG one day and said "YOu are not my friend anymore" and stormed off. NG cried and cried and her mom came and made such a big deal about it... like my DD had done the most horrible thing. Later I tried to explain to NG with my DD present. That of course they were still friends but that DD didn't like it when she hurt her. Honestly I felt like NG thought I was talking another language, and then her mom continued to make a big fuss.
Ok I will cut myself off there! Thank you if you have made it this far!!
