I have no tools to deal with this-help

[mommy212]

My DS has started going CRAZY in the last couple of days, and I honestly have no tools to deal with it. He was always a sweet tempered, loving child that I could take anywhere and still enjoy myself. Everyone loved to be around him. A few days ago he just started acting up/out/whatever... He says "mm-mm" (no) all day long, to everything. He refused to brush his teeth despite 10 minutes or so of trying diplomatically, and had to be wrestled into it. If you try to do anything that he says "mm-mm" to, he has a hissy fit of crying, pushing away, collapsing on the floor, etc... We have tried being calm, ignoring it, talking to him about his behavior (which used to work all the time), as well as time-outs and ,yes, frustrated yelling/talking harshly. I have absolutely no tools to deal with this behavior, as it has never been an issue before. What to do- ignore it, wait it out? And when he refuses to do something he needs to do, even after we have tried talking him into it? Also, trying to get him to sleep/take naps is just a huge wrestling match-literally. I have to force him to sit in my lap and try to read in a calm voice while he screams bloody murder and fights frantically. I just don't know what to do

[crunchy_mommy]

How old is he??

If this is a sudden & extreme change, I'd take him to the doctor. He could have an ear infection or something bothering him.

If it's any consolation, I've been dealing with behaviors like that in my DS since he was BORN, and I still have no clue how to deal with it lol!!

[pianojazzgirl]

Sounds like pretty typical behaviour for certain ages.... how old is he?  It could be that he's entering a new phase, perhaps exacerbated by getting a new tooth, coming down with something, some other stress factor in his life, etc.  It's pretty amazing how kids can enter the terrible *whatevers* seemingly overnight.  Recently my friend's dd went from being an amazingly pliable, calm, happy-go-lucky toddler to Miss. NO NO NO!!!  MINE MINE MINE!!!!!! in literally a matter of days!  We thought maybe she was cranky because of some outside cause, but it's been going on for a couple of months now so it must just be a new phase of toddler-ness.

[mommy212]

he is 22 months. He does not appear to be sick, and is not acting in the same way as he does when sick, but then again he stopped nursing very recently, so it might be affecting him more than previous ones. Thank you for the idea, though! I will see about getting him an appointment

[CarrieMF]

sounds like a normal 2yo to me.  He is discovering he has a voice & control over situations & is deciding which ones he wants to have control over.

[Tjej]

Sounds normal and my kids both were stressed and a bit different for a little while after they weaned.

As far as what to do - I emphasize calming down.  Nothing happens when anyone is pitching a fit.  Sometimes it is hard to wait it out, but I find it is worth it.  Then they get to know the routine and they calm down more quickly as well.

Tjej

[mommy212]

Ugh he will not take a nap... I literally cannot hold him still long enough for him to relax into sleep, he is fighting so much. What a miserable day.

[crunchy_mommy]

The only thing that *sometimes* helps my DS nap (though it's a rare event these days!) is moving with him, either in the stroller or Ergo or the car. Holding him down would pretty much guarantee he'd stay awake indefinitely. So maybe try a more mobile tactic?

And although he doesn't sleep, I can occasionally get him to sit quietly on the bed with me if we listen to a book on tape, which at least gives me 10mins or so of a mental break...

[pianojazzgirl]

FWIW both my kids gave up napping by 18-20mo....  (sorry... probably not what you wanted to hear!).  I would try the napping on the go (stroller, carrier, or maybe car) and see if that works.  It might very well be the start of transitioning to no nap in which case you will have days where he doesn't nap (and will probably go to bed much earlier), and days when he will take a nap.  I'll say that I fought tooth and nail to keep nap time with my first, but went with the flow with the 2nd.  The end result was the same, but it was way less stressful to, well, not get stressed out about it!  ;)  Instead of holding him down for his nap, try just interesting him in a book or song and a cuddle (without calling it naptime) and see if at least he will have a little down time with you.  If you're lucky he might conk out for a while too.  It sure helps your moral though to not count on it happening (trust me - I know!).

Also wanted to chime in and agree that the behaviours you've mentioned sound super age-appropriate.  He really sounds just like my friend's dd (as mentioned in my pp).  Of course both my kids were like that too at that age... but they had always been like that more or less, lol.

[mommy212]

Much better day today :) Thanks for all the support everyone. Today he has been very happy and energetic and much more agreeable- we both seem to be trying our best. :) 

[nina_yyc]

Totally normal for the age.  I try not to make too big a deal out of the tantrums and sometimes they just blow over, but if it's getting serious make myself available to DS, look him in the eye, pick him up, validate his feelings "Elliot is angry", or offer to nurse.  If he seems tired, hungry, or has a dirty diaper I address that - usually this is when he will spaz about a toy or something that normally wouldn't bug him.  DS figured out "NOOOOO!" over the last couple weeks and said it for everything for awhile.  Now that the novelty is wearing off he is getting back to normal.