Pregnancy book

[janellody]

Do you guys have recommendations for a good book on pregnancy and birthing and all that?  I went to amazon and read reviews on all the main ones and they all had some negative reviews that made them all have issues, so now I am not sure which to buy.  I HATE READING and don't have much time to do it, so I can't buy them all and read them, I can only handle about 1.  Help!

[JelloPanda]

Anything by Ina May Gaskin.
Your Best Birth by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein is also really awesome.
I guess it really depends on what type of birth you're going for... hospital or home, natural or with interventions/medication, who your practitioner is, etc.

I tend to avoid mainstream books like the "What To Expect When..." books, or any other "humorous" pregnancy book - they just piss me off   I found that the WTE book made me feel like I had some horrible parasitic infestation that had to be "dealt" with, instead of growing a human.

[kittenbritches]

All of the pregnancy books I have are from my first pregnancy in 2002-2003.  I read "The Girlfriend's Guide...," "What to Expect...," "Your Pregnancy Week by Week," and several others.  As a FTM I found them really helpful...it was interesting to read about the fetal development and changes in my body.  However, I wasn't researching what type of birth I wanted to have.  

I really want to check out "Your Best Birth" and some other books about the birthing process and experience this time around.  :)

You could always go to the library and thumb through their books to see which ones you may want to read (and if you feel they're worth buying).

[Tear78]

I read "What to Expect..." and found it helpful to read about the different stages, what the baby was probably going through, and what my body might be going through. I also googled "pregnancy calendar" and loved looking at the weekly development descriptions. If you post in the pregnancy forum, you might get more responses. Good luck!

[JMJ]

Originally Posted by JelloPanda 

Anything by Ina May Gaskin.

[TenzinsMama]

Our midwife told us that the What to Expecting book had some discrepancies in it, so they weren't big fans of it... Our midwifery practice had a really good resource list, and Ina May Gaskin was definitely on there more than once...

I agree with JelloPanda, in that it really depends on what kind of birth you are hoping to have...

I was really glad that I read a book beforehand on breastfeeding, it was called "Best Feeding".  After my DS was born, things I had read came back to me as I was getting help from the midwives, and then when I was completely on my own during those first few weeks I could use it as a reference (they had some really good visuals on how to position and what a good latch looked like).

One thing I wish I had done was do more reading about infant/toddler sleep, and about crying patterns-- our DS cried quite a bit in the first few months, and we found ourselves basically unprepared for that... so we were exhausted and trying to get a bunch of info about how best to soothe him.

[Jaimee]

Here's the doc I send out to my pregnant friends when they ask:

Recommended Pregnancy/Baby Resources

For Pregnancy

Pregnancy: Your ultimate week by week pregnancy guide (Dr. Laura Riley): This book is almost entirely week by week information, so what you get is more detailed. At the end there are small sections on feeding your baby, the postpartum weeks, and questions for your doctor. Each week has sections on Your Baby, Your Body, Your Self, Diet and Exercise, and Common Questions. It also includes a pregnancy wheel and full color photos of a fetus at different stages, which are nice bonuses. The writing is simple yet thorough and I found that the topics she chose to write about were often extremely relevant to what I was going through each week.         

The Mother of All Pregnancy Books (Ann Douglas): This is a very comprehensive book including conception, pregnancy, and labor.  The two things I liked the most about this book were the statistics and the mother anecdotes that she provided.  I also read her Unofficial Guide, but don’t bother because it contains largely the same info.

The Morning Sickness Companion (Elizabeth Kaledin): This book, unlike every other pregnancy book that I've read, really addresses all the issues surrounding the nausea and vomiting of pregnancy. Elizabeth Kaledin is extremely knowledgeable and uses humor and empathy to reach out to women going through this difficult time. She offers advice, personal stories, and testimonials from other women throughout the book. She doesn't gloss over of emotional aspects like so many other authors (and doctors).

Belly Laughs (Jenny McCarthy): I read this book when I was going through week after week of morning sickness and it was one of the only things that brought a smile to my face. Jenny McCarthy tells it like it is and makes you feel like you're not alone. I completely related to many of her stories and feelings and I enjoyed her blunt and to the point writing style.

Pregnancy Sucks (Joanne Kimes): This book reminds you that it's okay to feel less than excited about dry heaving every day. With a refreshing sense of humor, Kimes mixes personal stories with quotes from fellow mothers and helpful suggestions for common ailments. While Kimes does portray her bias toward hospital births, epidurals, and episiotomies, I didn't find it as distracting as Vicki Iovine's biases in The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy (which I do not recommend).

The Pregnancy Book (Dr. Sears and Martha Sears, RN): Possibly the most comprehensive month by month guide to pregnancy- far better than the ubiquitous What to Expect.  The authors mix medical information and advice with helpful anecdotes.  They address both the physical and emotional sides of pregnancy and include a section on labor.  After reading this, I didn’t find it necessary to read their labor book as well.

The Childbearing Year (Susan Weed): The midwives at your birth center will most likely recommend this book to you or reference it when you’re having issues.  It includes alternative/natural remedies for the many ailments of pregnancy, labor (including some labor induction techniques you may find helpful!), and the post-partum period.

Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn (Penny Simkin):  This book is good, but not as thorough as the Sears’ books.  She covers pregnancy briefly and the labor/postpartum periods in more detail offering medical information as well as techniques.

Eating for Pregnancy (Catherine Jones): This is a great resource for healthy meals during and after pregnancy.  She not only details the nutrition information, but also gives suggestions for side dishes to make each meal complete.  Also included are lists of items to have in your pantry, health information, and tips for dealing with morning sickness.

The Vegetarian Mother’s Cookbook (Cathe Olson): This book proves that you can maintain a vegetarian lifestyle even when you’re pregnant and lactating.  She also details the nutrition information for each dish and makes helpful suggestions for saving time- a must with a newborn!

For Birth

Spiritual Midwifery and Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth (Ina May Gaskin): I'll admit it took me a while to get over the way that Ina May and others in this book speak. At first I found it distracting, but once I got into the mentality of The Farm, I found these books very inspiring. Both contain a lot of very detailed information on the practice of midwifery, but the best parts are the stories. These books are packed full of real-life accounts of natural births- some good, some bad, but all amazing. When I finished, I felt empowered to give birth naturally and able to take control of my own pregnancy and labor.

The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth (Henci Goer): The only reason I include this book is for those that are facing a hospital birth.  After reading this book, you will be equipped with all the information you need to make the right choices for you when it comes to birth interventions.  If you are already planning a birth center or homebirth, you probably don’t need to read this one.

The HypBirth Hypnobirthing Program: A four CD series that teaches you relaxation techniques, visualization, and affirmations to use during labor.  Though very intensive and a lot of hard work, I believe that it really paid off for me.  I made it to 8cm hardly noticing and I never doubted my ability to give birth naturally.

For Newborns/Infants/Toddlers

The Baby Book (Dr. Sears and Martha Sears, RN): Possibly the most comprehensive book on raising a baby (until age 2).  Again, the authors cover a wide array of information mixing medical information and advice with helpful anecdotes.  The Sears’ are traditionally trained, but believe in attachment parenting and many “alternative” techniques including co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and baby wearing.  I actually found this book more helpful than The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding when it came to my lactation questions (though I have heard that The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Questions and Answers is the best).  After reading this, I didn’t find it necessary to read their breastfeeding or attachment parenting book as well.  If you feel you need some extra support, pick up The Fussy Baby Book and/or Nighttime Parenting for a few extra tips and anecdotes.

The No Cry Sleep Solution (Elizabeth Pantley): Do you find yourself one of the many attached parents of a child that just won’t sleep?  Here’s the book for you.  Never endorsing the “cry it out” method, she gives you very helpful information and techniques for helping your baby learn to sleep better.  I highly recommend reading this book before your baby gets here so that you start out with effective sleep strategies and possibly prevent poor sleep habits.  If you don’t get around to it now, be sure to crack this one open the moment sleep gets bad.  Change is easier the less entrenched the sleep habits are!

Baby Bargains (Denise and Alan Fields): A very thorough and fun guide to everything you could possibly buy for a baby.  They rate brands and specific products so that you can find your way through the complicated and confusing world of baby paraphernalia.  Reference this as well as epinions before buying!

Baby Laughs (Jenny McCarthy): Once again Jenny manages to tell it like it is, describing the many difficult, life-changing, and humorous situations she encountered with her newborn son.  While not as good as her first book, I still enjoyed reading about her trials and tribulations.

Baby Signs (Drs. Linda Acredolo and Susan Goodwyn) and Sign with Your Baby (Joseph Garcia): If you haven’t already heard about teaching babies basic signs so that they can communicate before they can talk, then read one of these books entirely.  If you already have a basic knowledge of this idea, then just read the sections that tell you how to get started and sign suggestions.  The latter book uses real ASL, which I like better, instead of “baby signs.”

Natural Family Living: The Mothering Magazine Guide to Parenting (Peggy O’Mara): This book is full of advice on how to raise your kids in a healthy, loving, natural way.  You might want to pay special attention to the vaccine section.  If you like this book you might also be interested in getting a subscription to Mothering magazine.

The Vaccine Book (Sears):  As if there wasn’t already enough to think about during pregnancy, preparing for labor, and dealing with a newborn, along comes vaccinations much sooner than you might like and expect.  So, here’s a book to read to familiarize yourself with the vaccinations and get suggestions about when (or not) to give them to your child instead of simply following the CDC’s prescribed schedule.  Other books that have been recommended, but that I have not read are: Vaccines: A Thoughtful Parent’s Guide: How to Make Safe, Sensible Decisions about the Risks, Benefits, and Alternatives (Aviva Jill Romm- she also wrote a decent book on natural pregnancy) and How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor (Mendelsohn).

Unconditional Parenting (Alfie Kohn): This book invites parents to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting- including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people.  In other words, this is a gentle discipline book to help you raise your child with internal instead of external motivation and self worth.

Momma Zen: walking the crooked path of motherhood (Karen Maezen Miller): I recommend reading this book several months post partum because you will relate to it much more then.  She really hits on feelings and topics that affect most new mothers and manages to make you feel both comforted and inspired.  Mixing Zen philosophies with ever day situations, she empowers you to be the best mama you can be- flaws and all.

Connection Parenting (Pam Leo): I think this is one of the best parenting books I’ve read because of its simple and clear messages.  It is perfect for busy parents who do not have time to read multiple books, but need some tips to connect with their children better.  This book is a self-proclaimed synthesis of many other books such as Unconditional Parenting, The Baby Book, The Attachment Parenting Book, The Continuum Concept, and Nonviolent Communication.  However, I found it quite helpful to have all these books summarized again and organized in such a way that I could really see how all the different philosophies, theories, and strategies fit together and complement each other.  I benefited from her use of examples throughout the book, which demonstrate how a parent could truly learn to interact differently with their child.  What I like the most about this book is its simplicity.  She describes techniques and ideas with a few well chosen words so that they are very easy to understand and remember.

A few books that I have not personally read, but have been highly recommended to me:

Playful Parenting

Websites

www.epinions.com: If you have never visited this site, do it now!  You can find ratings and reviews for almost anything as well as where to buy it for the best price.

www.hypbirth.com: If you are interested hypnobirthing, check out their website to learn more about this particular program.  Debbie or I can lend you the CD’s if you decide that you would like to try it!

www.llli.org/WebUS.html : US site for La Leche League.  Find answers to your breastfeeding questions, LLL leaders you can call for support, and the location/time of you local LLL meeting.

www.kellymom.com: an awesome site that addresses almost any breastfeeding question from problems getting started, to medications you can take, to weaning.  This site also has other parenting information, but I’ve mainly used it for breastfeeding issues.

www.myregistry.com: You’ll find that only the basics are available at Babies R Us, so you may want to put together a registry with products from multiple stores and this is the site to do it!

www.diaperswappers.com:  This is an online forum where you can learn everything about cloth diapering and troubleshoot issues with your diapers.  You can also buy used diapers and sell your old ones.  It’s a great way to try out new kinds without investing a lot of money.

www.mothering.com/discussions:  This is an online forum where you can learn everything about anything parenting.  Most of the people on this site a pretty attached parenting, natural parenting, no vaccinating, no circumcising, natural birthing (home and unassisted birthing, too), breastfeeding, babywearing, cosleeping, elimination communication, etc…  But you can literally get the answer to any question you might have about babies and parenting.  These mamas know their stuff.  You can also join their due date clubs and get in touch with other mamas due around the same time as you and you can “find your tribe” and get in touch with other mamas in your area.

www.thebabywearer.com: This is an online forum where you can learn everything about babywearing and troubleshoot issues with your carriers.  You can also buy used carriers and sell your old ones.  It’s a great way to try out new kinds without investing a lot of money.

www.craigslist.org: find your local page for awesome deals on used baby products, usually 50% off!

www.wholesomebabyfood.com/babyledweaning.htm: an explanation of introducing solids to your baby using baby led weaning.  This is a technique that doesn’t involve pureeing or mashing food, but instead empowers your baby to choose and hold his/her own foods.  This site also includes links to other sites, such as the LLL, for more information.

www.seemommyrun.com: if you’re a runner and know that you’ll want to get back out there ASAP, this is a great resource for connecting with other walking and running moms.  You can select your state, city, pace, length, and time of day to narrow down the running groups or start your own!

www.attachedparenting.org/groups/shtml: the Attached Parenting International site.  If you’re interested in attached parenting, check out the info and select your state to find local support groups.

www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/splash.php?URI=%2Findex.php: this is where you can find out how “natural” all those body care products really are.  The site gives hazard rankings to tons of stuff and lets you know why it ranks that way so you can make safe choices.

DVD’s

The Happiest Baby on the Block (Dr. Harvey Karp): Don’t bother reading his book, just watch the DVD, which you can probably get at your local library.  He teaches you all about the “fourth trimester” and how to stop your baby from crying during this time.  You will be shocked and amazed by his techniques.

Jennifer Gianni’s Fusion Pilates for Pregnancy: I really enjoyed this exercise video and her pleasant attitude.  I found it quite relaxing and it often helped with my nausea.  She combines yoga poses and stretching with gentle pilates toning exercises.  In the end I think the breathing probably helped me the most.

The Business of Being Born: Ricki Lake’s natural birth documentary.  The film is composed of footage from her homebirth and other births; interviews with OB’s, birth historians, birth advocates, and midwives; and birth statistics.  If you’ve never seen a baby being born or are wondering what is so great about natural birth, definitely get this film (available from NetFlix).

Orgasmic Birth: Watch women truly enjoying the birth process, birthing as women were meant to.

Signing Time!: An excellent way to teach your child and yourself how to sign!  Each episode is very engaging and educational.  Avalon has learned over 100 signs from this series.  Start with Baby Signing Time volumes one and two and then move on to the more advanced volumes that cover everything from feelings, family, food and playtime signs to seasons and animals to colors, numbers, and letters.

[kittenbritches]

Jaimee -- That is an *awesome* list!!  Thanks for sharing that with us! 

[janellody]

Thanks everyone!!  I have some research to do now! :)

[Jaimee]

You're welcome!