Book recommendations?

[CoopersMommy0308]

My DH moved out in June. I've read a few books about divorce and separation for me. One of the books has a children and divorce section but I haven't made it that far yet. I'll probably get to it tonight. 

I was just wondering if anyone has any book recommendations on divorce and children? 

My DS (3.5years) has been handling the separation very well. Last night he spent the night at Dad's for the first time. He had a blast packing his backpack full of toys and packing his little suitcase with clothes and binky's and milky cup. He picked out jammies, etc. He bolted for Dad's car when it was time to go and barely shouted "I love you" as he ran out the door. He was so excited! I love that he was excited about it and they had a great time.

DS came home today and he seems completely out of sorts. He was very physical with his friends today (some physicality is expected for him but today was completely different). I understand he is going through a lot emotionally and trying to figure everything out but I'm not sure where to go from here. We used all our normal "gentle hands", etc. techniques with him today and nothing was working. Our friends actually had to leave because it was so bad. He's more whiney and cry-y than usual and everything brings on a meltdown. My X said he slept well at his apartment, went to bed at a normal time, got up at the normal time, and over all had a lot of fun. 

I'm just counting the minutes until bed time. 

[simplemama32]

It's been a little while since you've posted this, but I'll go ahead and put this here just in case you still haven't found what you need.  I've found Mom's House, Dad's House to be very helpful...there is also a kids version of it.  Another one for kids (maybe older than yours) I see recommended on here a lot (but haven't had a chance to read yet) is Dinosaurs Divorce.  I'm currently reading a book called In Praise of Single Parents by Shoshanna Alexander (? I think that's her name) which has been great so far...it kind of covers all the bases, and has been mostly positive, except for the chapter on single parents and finances.  There's a book on Amazon I keep eyeing called something like Single Moms Raising Boys, but not sure if it's actually any good.

Anyway, hugs to you and your DS.  Mine is almost 3.5 yrs. and has been spending the night with his Daddy for around 8 months now...first, one night EOW and now he's going for 2 nights EOW.  The first night he's back with me and maybe for a day or so after that, I can almost always count on him being a little extra whiny and clingy and testing his limits more than usual.  And he's already a pretty spirited kiddo.  :-)  Oh, and just thought of this one...we also have a picture book called Two Homes that I thought would be helpful, and it does have a very positive message, but DS doesn't seem to like it.  He looks at me like "duh, Mom, I already know I have two homes.  why am I reading about it?"  LOL

[barbgoducks]

Great book for you to read: Helping kids cope with divorce the Sandcastles Way.  Author: Gary Neuman.  This is big like a textbook, and has sections for each age, a bunch of different scenarios, etc.  I couldn't ever find it in a store, and bought it at Amazon. I refer to this book over and over, and have used many of the suggested activities to get kids to talk about their feelings. 

I scan the library for kid books like Dinosaurs Divorce.  They are ok, but I'm not a big fan.  The Sandcastles book has helped me script the conversations to the kids, and Dinos (and others) help do that same thing. 

I also simply got the kids into family counseling.  Play therapy has been really good for us, and simply got my oldest one (age 7) to start talking about his feelings. I learned better how to ask, how to listen, etc. 

[kt~mommy]

Popping in to give hugs and say a big "me too"... DH moved out in March and our almost-4-year-old seems to be doing the same sorts of things as yours, though he hasn't done overnights yet.  i just started reading a book (not sure if it's the same the pp'er recommended)  called "raising boys without men: how maverick moms are creating the next generation of exceptional men".  I LOVE it because it is so stregnth-based, like I really am capable of doing this (though DS's dad is still certainly in the picture and will continue to be).  i've really struggled with the thought of being a "single mom", so this book has been great in boosting my confidence in what that could look like for me.

as an aside,  i am a therapist myself, so I got DS in to see a children's play therapist about a month back and it has been SO helpful.  DS is not nearly a "behavoral problem" kid by any stretch, so it wasn't that, i just wanted him to be able to deal with or "play out" what is bothering him.  the themes in his therapy have been about gaining control for himself etc.  so if you have the ability through insurance or whatever and there's a play therapist in the area, i would highly recommend it.  for me it's been better than any book because DS is getting the support and ability to work out his issues as he needs to. 

[CoopersMommy0308]

Thank you so much for the book recommendations!!! 

I added the Sandcastle book and Raising Boys without men to my amazon wish list and will be ordering both soon. 

I feel like I've read enough divorce books and we do have some childrens books on living in two homes and mom and dad separating. Right now I'm wanting books on how to help kids cope (THANKS for the recs!) and single mom books. Like a PP mentioned I am hung up on the "Single mom" label unfortunately (Even though my boys still see there dad everyday). I feel like I'm a single mom and will be for a long time. I want to be more independent from the X and would like to stop seeing him every single day if I can get to that point. Right now I still rely on him for bed time with our older son. I've done it a few times by myself with both boys and its hard, I just need the confidence to KNOW that I CAN do this and I we will make it. 

[Mom31]

http://www.amazon.com/My-Single-Mom-Life-Practical/dp/0785289550/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1316185160&sr=1-1

I picked this up at a yard sale and it helped me so much. I love it. Just inspiring and uplifting to me.

[tccandlsccmom]

I got a few, and the one my kiddos (6 and 9) seem to gravitate toward is When Mom and Dad Divorce:: An Elf-Help Book for Kids (Elf-Help Books for Kids)