Chat Thread: 8/14-8/20 - Page 2
Leiahs: Sure hope your DD won't need surgery! How stressful. Glad she is still in good spirits over it all.
Pi: Love those pictures! :)
I was talking to DH last night and came to the conclusion that I just won't be able to do the hypnobabies this time around. I don't have any chance to listen to the scripts while watching a 2 year old every day. I'm disappointed but that is just my reality right now. I will continue to do yoga and practice other relaxation techniques but going into hypnosis just isn't possible during the day.
We are going to the beach to help our little friend celebrate her 4th birthday this afternoon. It's a beautiful sunny day and should be great. This is the little girl I took care of for 2 years while I did child care. DD misses her so much and is so excited! Both families have been traveling so we haven't seen her for months!
Leiahs - Yikes! Also crossing fingers for no surgery.
AKislandgirl - I'm hoping to get a little Hypnobabies ingrained in my head before October rolls around. A friend is lending me her binder and burning the CD for me. When DS was born, labor just did not go the way I thought a first delivery would go, in terms of its speed/quick onset of intensity. I hadn't been at all worried about labor...just curious about how it would be and how I would respond. Looking back, I wish I had somehow handled the fear/unpreparedness better than I did. I mentioned this in my prenatal yoga class and someone recommended Hypnobabies. A couple weeks later the instructor played part of the affirmations CD during the relaxation part of the class and while I was worried it would be "too hokey" for me, I could see how listening to the affirmations and getting the ones that resonate with me ingrained in my head might be helpful. I'm planning to listen while DS naps and before bed, too.
Happy B'day to the newly 6 and newly 2 year olds!
AFM - I was supposed to have a prenatal appt this morning, but got a call from the birth center saying they were having a "flurry of births" and the midwife I was going to see was super busy with laboring/delivering moms. Tomorrow is my birthday and DH is taking off from work and I think we're going to go to this beautiful private garden to walk around...maybe a little picnic. Then I have to pick up my car from the dealer where I'll be paying almost $1000 for a bunch of stuff ....but better to get it done now than after the baby is born. Plus, some of it I need to pass inspection. And then we're having dinner with my family. So, it should be a mostly good day.
We're not doing any kind of shower this time. With DS I had one with about 14 people (friends and family) and we ate good food and everyone decorated onesies and little t-shirts with fabric paint and stencils and brushes and cut vegetables and whole dead fish (yup...fish prints are very cool, but only a couple people besides me were willing to handle the fish for some reason....). We got some pretty awesome, unique baby clothes out of that, and I just think it's good to have an authentic activity at things like showers (instead of weird "baby shower games").
Leihs: hoping the appt. goes well and your dd doesn't need surgery.... uggg don't get me started on health care.
AKislandgirl- this is just my opinion and what worked for me but there is no reason to not be able to listen to the cd in the evenings. Especially since you used that method last time it will just be a good refresher.
I used hypnobirthing by Marie Mongon not hypnobabies but believe they are similar philosophies. My mw said it was fine to pop the cd in and head to bead. I rarely made it through the entire thing while still awake BUT recognized all of it while in labor and labor/birth was great for me from a hypnosis stand point. I had to transfer that first time and was still able to maintain a relaxed state, it was amazing. I have done it that way each time and can really feel it working during labor/birth so it works for me and as I would be sleeping anyways no extra time is needed. Just a thought but it certainly couldn't hurt to give it a try.
Shower: no one has offered so I don't think I am getting one:(. I am bummed bcs I love being able to celebrate and welcome the baby. This is my rainbow baby and I didn't get my shower last time as I lost him at 17 wks so was hoping to have one. Also having had 4 kids use the equipment already we are needing some new stuff and aren't in a great financial situation so it would help on that end as well. Oh well, I will just see what happens.
Almost 31 wks and it is hard to believe. I did clean out the kids bedrooms and am planning on doing ours tomorrow. After that I will have space to bring baby stuff over from the storage when I am ready. Emotionally I can't do it yet but need to have a place for it to go when I can.
theboysmama: That is a great point about listening to the tracts when I head to bed. Thank you! I don't know why I hadn't thought of that. I think I was stuck in the "how am I supposed to manage this?" mindset. I do think that since I've done it before it will come back to me too. So excited to start this tonight!
We had an awesome time at the beach. DD crashed in her stroller on the way home and is sleeping peacefully in the mud room now. I love stroller naps! I'm going to go curl up on the couch for a bit and relax before she wakes up!
I hung out with a friend of mine who is due next week. Her baby is breech and they have tried everything they can think of to get him or her to turn. Not budging so far. She has an external version scheduled for Friday. If it doesn't work they will do a C-section. She seems to have come to terms with the whole thing. Crossing fingers that baby turns!
Soo... when do we need to worry about babies position?
theboysmama, I feel you on the shower. I really just wanted a nice celebration but today I was looking over the small things we still need to get and I realized that it really adds up!!! These things would be no burden for a few close family and friends but for us it is adding up quick. Also, we live abroad where everything is soooooo expensive and we have to pay our medical bills out of pocket. Unfortunately, my family is too obtuse to think to send us something or ask us if we need something. It takes over 3 weeks for stuff to arrive to us so I doubt we'll get anything before baby comes, I know my family. I had given away or sold a lot of the stuff from my first so we have to replace stuff. Plus, there are a few small things that I never had for my first that I'd like to have this time around. Sigh.
I need to get around to my meditations but I never feel like doing it. I rather nest than meditate. Seems like it is never the right time to meditate....
Woke up last night to a nightmare that I was bleeding really heavily. I think I've just been too anxious about weird pains I have been experiencing and not knowing when Thrasher will decide to make his debut.
Still haven't heard another word about the shower. I think I'm just going to start buying the rest of the goods I need. We got another HUGE trash bag of 0-6 month clothes last night from a friend - some even still had the tags on! It's really, really great that so many friends have handed stuff down to us, and really funny that they've all been men. I hope to pay it forward when this guy grows out of the gear.
Question: is anyone else nauseated and dizzy again? I feel like I rolled back downhill to first trimester again...
Thank you for all the well-wishes for my daughter. We avoided surgery, thank goodness, but there was a buckle in her bone that meant a painful re-setting before they could cast her, and so she still went to an operating room, had an IV, got anesthesia and sedation. It was a quick procedure - less than 15 min - and she recovered beautifully, but it was SUCH a long day yesterday. She had to be fasting from midnight (which in reality meant from her bedtime at 8pm), and she didn't get in for the procedure until 3pm. Poor thing was starving on top of hurting. And all of that costs a lot of money, too, which means our insurance is essentially used up for out-patient procedures, and we're going to owe doctors and facilities a few thousand dollars, which is more money than we have left in savings after we pay the midwife. DH and I were stressing over that so, so much. We know it will work out - we're filling out a financial hardship application and planning on doing small payments - but it was all a LOT to take in at once. By the time we got home at 5pm last night, I think my body and mind just quit on me. I was fine sitting with DD through all of it, nice and calm and collected for the most part, but once I got home I felt bone-tired. Today I got DS off to school (DD has to stay home one more day, much to her dismay), and after I got back home, I let DD and DS2 watch a show, and went to lay back down. I ended up taking a 3hr nap, and I *still* feel tired. I imagine all this would be exhausting to a non-pregnant mother. To a mother well into the 3rd trimester, it's outright debilitating! (Plus, thanks to many delays with doctors, etc. yesterday, I barely ate anything myself, which can't have been helpful.) Thankfully, I have people jumping in to help me. SIL had a lovely homemade chicken noodle soup waiting for us when we got home last night (which DD snarfed down eagerly, as well did I!), and a friend from church is bringing us dinner tonight. I almost said no to that, but I'm glad I didn't. I didn't expect to be SO tired today. And I still have a giant mess to clean up. I swear I had a nice clean house on Friday or Saturday last week, but between DS's birthday, school starting, and the broken bone thing, NOTHING has gotten cleaned for days, and it shows. I need to get my kitchen at least in functional order!! Sigh.
MIL and SIL are planning to throw me a baby shower. I go back and forth - I want one at this point because I really could use the help gathering essentials like clothing and diapers that I just don't have yet (gear not really needed), but I hate being the center of attention, and I don't have a lot of close friends in this area. People I'm always happy to see, but not close, who might understand my preferences. I'm terribly worried that I'll get a whole lot of people buying me bottles and breastfeeding covers, and stuff that I just *will not* use. (Is there a tactful way to say "please only buy this type of thing that I really actually need", and provide a list? Or do I just go with the flow?) MIL/SIL are asking for a list of people to invite, and I sort of dread the task of coming up with a list.
Quick comment on breech babies: I had a friend go through a c/s just about a couple months ago because of breech position. They didn't check just before the surgery, but they found out *as they pulled him out* that he was in perfect position for a vaginal delivery. I have since read quite a number of stories about babies turning once labor has started. Not saying all babies will (I think tutucrazy has a point about some babies being a certain position because of very good reasons we don't understand), but if anyone out there ends up having to have a c/s for breech, I would push for waiting until labor has gotten decently underway, and then doing a u/s to confirm position before moving ahead with any surgery.
AKislandgirl, I don't really worry too much about baby's position. I understand that it is desirable for baby to be head down, but if baby won't turn him/herself using non-harmful techniques such as those recommended on spinning babies I'd hesitate to try drastic things like external versions. Sometimes babies choose a position due to cord length or placement and IMO doing something that would force them could actually cause more harm than good. Sometimes babies pick a breech position b/c, for them and their particular environment, it is the best way to be born. Just food for thought.
I think this is a great point but where I live a breech baby = C-section. I live on a remote island in Alaska so getting to another community isn't a possibility. I really don't want a c-section! I don't think my baby is breach but having just talked so much with my friend who is going through it has it fresh on my mind.
Shower etiquette question: At work, they are throwing a joint shower for a woman who works in another program and me. I know her in passing, but not very well. Do I bring a gift for her or would that look strange? It's a shower for her, and I feel weird going to a shower for anyone without something, even if it is my shower too.
Leiahs, I'm glad your daughter doesn't need surgery!
Karli: Congratulations on closing!
Edited by livacreature - 8/17/11 at 4:29pm
Leiahs ... I'm glad that your dd didn't need orthopedic surgery, but the whole ordeal sure still sounds stressful and difficult for all of you. I'm so sorry to hear that money is a worry when it comes to health care. I wish I could beam you down some good ol' no-bill Canadian health care (save the exorbitant taxes).
Karli ... I'm right with you, hon! I feel puky and gross and have done for the last couple of days. Smells are started to do me in again, and I don't want to eat anything. What the heck is up with that? And dizzy too ... I saw floaters this morning and I wasn't even doing anything physical! Just sitting. In my case, with pre-e breathing down my neck, I'm being extra vigilant to monitor baby's movements and all's well there. We'll see what my MW has to say tomorrow. Congrats on the house! That's wonderful news!
Sue ... I'd be worrying about baby's position now, so that if things need moving, there would be options before they pull out the knife and start slicing. Things like swimming (front crawl), various yoga positions, etc. If your babe is already LOA or close to it, wouldn't she be more likely to stay that way as her room to move shrinks? I hope so, because that's my naive thinking about my baby. He's head down right now, and I hope he stays there! Even if he spends most of his time doing contemporary dance in there, so long as he stays away from flips, I'm fine with being pummeled.
livacreature, I think you go ahead and bring a gift. It's the least worst option.
I'm hanging in there. I think I mostly am feeling better because a few people have actually noticed my Herculean efforts at work and are suitably impressed about my ability to do them this far along in my pregnancy. I was just getting "We need more, More, MORE..." for such a long time that I was feeling quite hopeless. I just needed some people to say, "Wow you are doing so much more than I could have expected, and you're doing a good job. You may need a break." to feel like Superwoman again.
That said no sleeping last night, sitting is generally a bad idea, and I'm still hitting zero in the energy banks by the end of the day. I went to bed at 8 on my husband's birthday yesterday and left him with the remote control for company-- crappy, eh? I had planned ahead and celebrated him up good on Saturday, and brought a gift home for him last night and got him exactly what he wanted for supper (which was Disgusting), but I still felt crappy about it.
Breech: Dd is turned & I'm hoping she'll stay that way. Ds turned quite early & never turned again. I've thought a lot about this & I think it is one situation I would accept a c-section as much as I hate to say that. The fact is that there are some serious complications that can come with a breech delivery & around here the doctors NEVER do breech deliveries & I don't think I'd trust one to be able to deal with a complication should it arise. It's a terrible reason but that is where things are right now.
Karli - congrats on the house. We had to move a little less than a month before ds arrived & it wasn't as bad as I anticipated. In fact it was probably the fastest I have ever unpacked! Hand-me-downs are FABULOUS!!! I have so rarely had to buy clothes for ds it's ridiculous, in fact it seems every time I think I might need to buy something someone calls me up & says they have a bag of stuff.
Leiahs - So glad your dd is doing well. For my baby shower with ds I did an online registry which kind of helped me stay organized. I used a generic site that I could link to any item on any site & there was space to make comments so I could write "not necessarily this exact item but something similar". It actually worked out quite well - I returned only one thing. The good thing about a lot of the stuff you might get from people who do not know you well is they are also more likely to come from Wal-mart or Babys-R-Us - so they are easy to return.
livacreature - I think I would probably bring something for her. You could always keep it in your bag & only bring it out if feels appropriate.
afm - how I will feel from day to day is becoming very unpredictable. I used to think it was related to my workouts (as in more tired the day after) but that definitely doesn't hold true. It's frustrating 'cause I just cannot plan to get things done 'cause I never know which days I will actually have enough energy to make it all the way through the day. We're having a big housewarming party here on Saturday & have been doing so much cleaning & prep for it but I know the next two days will be crazy busy trying to get everything done (I REALLY want the house to be put together - we still haven't hung pictures, finished unpacking, put things away, etc.). It's exhausting to think of - thankfully my mom is taking ds all day Friday & overnight.
Then on Monday ds & I are leaving for a week long trip to go visit friends of mine. It's a 12 hour drive so we'll do it in 2 days to make it easier on both of us but I'm not really looking forward to the drive. We may take 3 days on the way home. I must admit I'm a little nervous about going as I feel I'm getting a little close to delivering but this will be our last chance until the new year & it's been a year since I've seen them. I know it will ultimately be ok though & we'll have fun.
Has anyone else started to dilate at all? It's pretty consistent, no bleeding, no contractions so I'm not really concerned but I'm definitely at least 2cm now. I find it fascinating more than anything but I do wonder how long one can remain partially dilated.
Ugh. Had some very hard discussions today with DH. I understood that he had 2 weeks off when the baby arrives. I have made reference to this multiple times (e.g., "So, I think we should ask my dad to come first after your two weeks are up. What do you think of that?")
He says (today) he has no idea where I got that idea, he can take the rest of his vacation (a couple of days) after we have already had two vacations this year, which I discussed with him and made sure he had enough time for. I would not have suggested him taking that time off had I known he needed to take vacation time after baby.
Massive, massive communication fail. I'm feeling incredibly stressed and weepy now, and I just do not have time to deal with these emotions right now -- I have work to finish for tomorrow that I didn't get done today because I was too busy crying in the bathroom. GAH.
pi- I am so sorry you are dealing with that. Dh and I have major communication fails sometimes and it is really frustrating. That being said dh had to return to work immediately (within a day or so) after both ds1 and ds2 were born. I had my dad come up right away and stay a week, it was very helpful. I would make sure that if it is at all possible that you have someone set up to help with housework (laundry, dishes, meals, etc) and to entertain Ds1 so he doesn't feel so left out.
liveacreature- I would bring a present. It is the safest option.
lifeguard- sounds like a fun trip. Take it easy and it should be enjoyable.
AFM- I am finally nesting a bit. Nothing baby related but organizing all of our bedrooms, dressers, closets, etc. It really needed done and feels good but I am exhausted. I am hoping i will be able to get the baby stuff out of storage next week (I have a friend coming to help) but am worried I might chicken out again.
I have an exercise question: I am very very very out of shape cardiovascularly. I have not done anything as far as exercise goes in several years and have been pretty stagnant for the last year and a half. I ocassionally walk a few blocks to take the kids to pre-school (but not daily and haven't done that all summer). It is too hot here to walk often so I don't do that. I am extremely busy, etc. etc. I am starting to really worried that I am going to be so out of shape when this baby is born that it is going to make labor really challenging. BUT I don't know what to do to "get in shape" in such a short time, especially starting from square one. Any ideas would be much appreciated.
lifeguard, my energy is pretty unpredictable right now, too. Some days I still feel light as a feather, other days I'm completely waddling around (when I'm not parked on the couch). ;) I hope you get your house just the way you want it in time for your party, though. That's a fun thing to look forward to through the low-energy points, at least! I'm sure you'll do okay on your drive. Just a couple weeks ago we did a road trip with an 8hr day, a 10hr day, and then a 5hr day. We had to hurry on the way home and did 13hrs on the 1st day and 8hrs on the 2nd day. The 13hr day was a bit much (I was getting to stiff to get out of the car easily), but the 8hr days were not really a problem at all. We just stopped every 2-2.5 hours to use the bathroom and stretch. At least, I hope it goes that easily for you, too! As for dilating, I don't know. I haven't had any checks (nor do I anticipate any), and I don't check myself. I'm sure you could go weeks and weeks on just a 2, though. :)
pi, so sorry that you're feeling so stressed and weepy. Just went through that yesterday, myself, because of health care/financial shock because of DD's broken arm. Not fun that it came from a communication failure, I'm so sorry. :( I hope you're able to feel better/more upbeat soon. It's so difficult to deal with strong emotions during pregnancy.
I still have no idea what DH's work schedule will hold in store for us once baby is born. It kinda stresses me out if I stop to think about it too long. He's still on temp-to-hire, which gives him NO vacation pay (or sick pay, for that matter) whatsoever. And now, at 7 weeks from my due date, even if he gets hired on ASAP (and they've been "working on it" for at least a month now), I doubt that will be enough time to get any sizeable time off. It makes me sad, because he's always had so much available PTO in the past when we've had babies. He's always taken off at least a week, and then came home for lunches and sometimes left work early for another week or so after that. The only thing I've got going for me right now is that he's on shift work, so he only works 3 or 4 days, depending on the week. So even if he gets no time off, there's at least half a week that he'll be around to help. Granted, those other days, he'll be gone for 14 hours of daytime, and so I can count on feeling pretty on-my-own... Still, I have several IL's living within 5 minutes of me, and I know they'll be a good help if I need it and want it.
theboysmama, re: exercise... I don't have any good advice, I guess. I came into this pregnancy in pretty miserable physical shape, but I just happened to start exercising regularly within 2 weeks of discovering I was pregnant. However, my midwife says her bare minimum expectations for exercise in pregnancy is a "brisk walk" for 30 minutes, 3x/week. I'd say if you can work yourself up to that in this stage of pregnancy, that's a pretty reasonable and healthy thing to do. If I were worried about walking in the heat (and without a YMCA membership, I would be!), I'd do my best to go in the early morning if at all possible. Myself, I have to get back on the ball. The end of summer has thrown my exercise schedule for an absolute loop, and now that my kids' school has started back up again, I really need to get back on it.