New to fostering, questions about Step-son

[leilamom]

My husband and I have decided to start the process of becoming licensed foster parents with the intent to foster to adopt.  I do not have any biological children and he has a 7 year old son from his previous marriage.  He and I are both concerned about the impact of this on him.  He has a diagnosis of Autism, although he is very verbal and fairly social.  I am concerned if he will understand what is going on and if this will harm him.  We don't have a fabulous working relationship with his mother, but I am trying to make progress on that end.

Anyone been there done that?  I don't really know how to approach this...I am feeling very confident that this is the right thing to do for our family, but I am just uncertain as to how to proceed.  Any advice would be much appreciated.

[lauren]

I haven't been there, but I wondered if your stepson has a therapist that you could consult on what to expect around his adjustment to a new member of the family. How does he do with change and transitions in general? I also wondered if you'd asked him what he thought about it? You might want to actually cross post this question in the special needs forum.

[yansmommy]

I just finished the foster classes and homestudy process and am waiting for my license.  (YEAH!)  My daughter has Down Syndrome and though she is 10, she functions cognitively at around a 4-5 year old level.  I honestly don't know how it's all going to work.  I did not go into this lightly, I prayed a lot and feel this is the path I'm supposed to be on.  

What I have been doing is talking a lot about what we're trying to do...there are children that need a home for a while, someone to take care of them, love them, feed them, teach them.  We've babysat for others many times, so I've talked about the kids just coming to our house for a while, not necessarily staying.  I think she's "getting it", but only time will tell.  Now every time she hears the doorbell she yells "Babies, BABIES" and comes looking for them...so, we'll see!  I am wanting to adopt, so I'm praying that there will be kiddos that come and stay forever.