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My 4.5 year old just painted all over my car with latex paint. - Page 2

post #21 of 32

I have a 4.5 year old and while he hasn't done something to that degree (wow, that takes some planning!) he truly lacks impulse control and good judgement. His older brother is 6 and was MUCH more responsible at his age. I just looked outside and he was standing on top of our minivan dancing while his friends watched eyesroll.gif so I can't say painting our car would be completely out of the question.

post #22 of 32

My daughter absolutely would not have done that at 4.5.  But, at age seven she carved her name in her dresser.  She was mad at me.

 

Most kids will go ruin something of yours when they are mad at you, but, I don't think it's all that normal for just every day behavior.  The random "oh, I guess that was a bad idea" behavior... or misjudging the washability of paint or something I can understand.  But, I don't think you should be dealing with this kind of thing all the time.

post #23 of 32

I don't know if it's just us, however all child proofing was thwarted by the little people of the house.  Closets were locked, cupboards locked, cleaners put up, knives stowed away up high.  That just wasn't enough.  Sippy cups were turned over onto electrical devices and the drip drip caused an electrical fire.  I had a 7 yr old stomp on the hood of my new mustang... why?

The locked doors were broken into by using a stick... A STICK!  WTH?  I got locked out of my bathroom for an hour once and I never thought to use a stick.  Nail polish was swiped while mommy showered with her usual audience and they painted the dogs back... all while I showered all in the bathroom singing songs... 

 

Don't be hard on yourself.  They do these things.  You can plan and try to stop their bat crazy behaviour but they'll get you in the end.

post #24 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Imakcerka View Post You can plan and try to stop their bat crazy behaviour but they'll get you in the end.


ROTFLMAO.gif

 

post #25 of 32
Thread Starter 



love this...thanks for keeping it real:)  sometimes i think people must think I'm totally negligent for the things my boys do, but you are so right - they find a way!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Imakcerka View Post

I don't know if it's just us, however all child proofing was thwarted by the little people of the house.  Closets were locked, cupboards locked, cleaners put up, knives stowed away up high.  That just wasn't enough.  Sippy cups were turned over onto electrical devices and the drip drip caused an electrical fire.  I had a 7 yr old stomp on the hood of my new mustang... why?

The locked doors were broken into by using a stick... A STICK!  WTH?  I got locked out of my bathroom for an hour once and I never thought to use a stick.  Nail polish was swiped while mommy showered with her usual audience and they painted the dogs back... all while I showered all in the bathroom singing songs... 

 

Don't be hard on yourself.  They do these things.  You can plan and try to stop their bat crazy behaviour but they'll get you in the end.



 

post #26 of 32

My 6 yr old sprayed some green lawn repair spray all over my white van the other day!  And he knows it is a no no b/c he did it once before and got in trouble lol. 

post #27 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieMF View Post

 

 

 

It is typical 4yo behaviour to want you to colour things the way they want it to be coloured.  The problem is we aren't mind readers.  It does not sound to me like he needs an evaluation.  It sounds like he is crying for your attention & he's found that doing certain things gets him attention, even if it is negative attention from you.

 

Stop giving up when he is telling you what to colour or that you are doing things the wrong way.  being near him is not the same as doing the activity with him.  When you are doing something with him, treat him like a little person & ask him how you should do xyz instead of doing it the way you think it should be done.  Ask him what he thinks you should do.   give him some control & it will overlap into him not needing to take control in other things.


This. Have you tried, over an extended period, to give him "good attention" and to not give him "bad attention"? What I mean is he plans to do something over a long period and does it does not sound like an impulse control problem to me. Sounds like screaming for attention, whatever attention I can get, because new baby is around. Example: He does something drastic like ruin the car. Instead of getting mad, you give no attention. You are totally neutral. You messed up the car, here you clean it up. He pretends he can't clean it. You show him once, you tell him to do it, and you go about what you were doing. But then when he does something positive, you give attention. Wow, that was so nice of you to share XYZ with your baby sister. You were so gentle. Thank you.... He colors a picture and says you should as well. So you do it, and also say what great lines or colors he chose or whatever. Point is if he gets no drastic feedback for the negative stuff, but gets lots for the positive, he might try the positive route more often. And good luck it is so hard when you have a baby and a small child at the same time. Hard to juggle. It does get better though!

 

post #28 of 32

Eh... this positive reenforcement stuff only works sometimes.  I did it with my girls and now that they're older they try it on me.  "Oh mom can you make me a sandwich, I know you're napping but you make much better sandwiches than dad and I would really appreciate it".   It's all just another form of manipulation. 

post #29 of 32

My very sweet, intelligent and obedient daughter inscribed her name in about 20 places when we moved into a log cabin.  With a sharpie...I was still finding these little "tags" when she was 12 and we moved again.  I was shocked that she thought this was OK. (she wrote them all at 8..)

One time a group of my friends and our children had a dinner party- the girls were about 4- we thought they were upstairs playing and they got into the bathroom and got into nail polish and hairdye and forever changed the bathroom of the host- yikes!

 

I think it is well within the range of normal to do crazy things when you are going through changes- move/new baby- just keep on keepin on Mama.

post #30 of 32

I am totally no help.

 

But I just wanted to say that the title of this thread made me burst out laughing.

 

Keep the humor...they are only little once. :)

post #31 of 32

See the website S***mykidsruined.com and you will quickly realize that a) he's not in need of a neurology consult --  LOTS of kids do this, and 2) it could have been even worse.

post #32 of 32

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcparker View Post

See the website S***mykidsruined.com and you will quickly realize that a) he's not in need of a neurology consult --  LOTS of kids do this, and 2) it could have been even worse.


yeahthat.gif

 

My brother did this when he was about 3 or 4 years old too.  We were all painting our house and my mom gave him a paintbrush and told him to go paint.  So he went and painted her car.  She was not happy!

 

Last week DD for some bizarre reason took a pair of scissors to her sheets (and her hair! yikes.gif ) because she wanted to turn her bed into a fort (and apparently she also wanted bangs).  I was shocked because she'd never before done anything destructive at all.  It happens!  

 

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