School starts next Monday! My daughter is 16 and a half. Her cell phone is on her at all times. She keeps it under her pillow when she sleeps at night. While I'm not at all happy with this, I understand many teens do this.
If 'allowed to' she'll hang on the computer, particularly on FaceBook and Tumblr, for hours at a time. She'll stay up to the wee hours of the morning -she does not self regulate at all well. She's always had issues getting to sleep at night, even when she was a toddler.
Keeping up in school is a struggle for her. She starts each year with the best of intentions.
I've been handling the phone and computer issues poorly. When school is such a struggle and she's soooo anxious and stressed out, I have feared that taking the phone and/or computer away from her just takes away a connection, something that makes her happy and relieves stress. I just want to trust her.
So, talk to me about this. (Another thread here got me thinking about this.) I think I should implement a new policy: the cell phone cannot go to bed with her on school nights. Simple, right? I predict she's going object vociferously. Typing this out I feel really sheepish about how afraid I am of upsetting her, of making her feel bad. In my head there's lots of talk about giving her autonomy, trusting her to work things out, wanting to accept and respect that she's quickly becoming an adult. So, at age 16, to have her cell taken away from her at night, that's a step backwards. I don't know that that's true, but it's a thought.
We already have a 'no laptop in the bedroom' policy that regularly gets messed about with. So I'm resolving to be more consistent there.
Back ground picture: she was in the Honors program in English and history, but did so poorly last year (sophomore) she was dropped from it. She's been struggling with math, well, forever. But she had to take a summer school math class last month in order to keep up and not be taking basic algebra her senior year (with freshmen). It's been one tough hit to her esteem after another these past few years.
Wow, again, typing this out ...I haven't had much faith in her ability to deal with setbacks have I?